Poll: If you die, do you want your Sig Other to find someone else?

[happyninja42]

Ok so, this poll is mostly fueled by a particular trope in movies/books that I find really annoying. You have some character, who had a lover die, and they are now going through the motions of maybe hooking up with someone new. But very often (not always, but often enough), they introduce some "guilt from the grave" plot device, to add up drama. How the person feels like it's some kind of betrayal to their previous lover, to find someone else to love. And I just don't get this one. If I'm dead:
1. I'm dead, I have no more feelings on the matter
2. Why would anyone be that selfish to say "you can't love anyone after me", or at least why would people think that's how their loved one felt? I mean, if the person truly did care about you, and they were even halfway decent, why would they be a dick from beyond the grave, and totally block you by some "none but me!" decree? It's fucking stupid to me, and introduces a fairly pointless bit of drama into a story where we all know they're going to hook up after.

So yeah, this particular bit annoys me when I see it in stories, so what do you think?

If you died, would you want your significant other to eventually get with someone else and be happy? Or would you want them to carry some torch for your corpse?

 

[Zhukov]

Umm... yes?

I mean, what else are they going to do? Stare mournfully at my portrait for the rest of their lives?

Seems like kind of a no-brainer.

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

If we both live and stay together long enough to reach a nice old age, he's probably going to die before me, that being said, if I happen to die first, I'd want him to move on and do whatever makes him happy.

Even "traditional" weddings with "traditional" vows only last "till death do us part".

I suppose if I were watching from beyond the grave, I'd want him to at least mourn me for a year or so, rather than go "About damn time!", run off and find the next legit love of his life in two weeks (that being said, he would be permitted to have relationships of the grief stricken, rebound kind).

 

[PsychicTaco115]

No, I want her to give my corpse fellatio and then proceed to actually think she's me until she loses herself to my conciousness

or she could find someone nice if I did die...

You know, her choice. Feminism and all that jazz

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Even "traditional" weddings with "traditional" vows only last "till death do us part".

OT: God yeah, I'd hope she'd find someone else.

 

[Lufia Erim]

Of course. Hell, she could even meet someone at my funeral. I'm no use to her dead. The dead know nothing so she can greive as long as she needs to be it a day a week a month or a year. I also think she should get a younger guy so she wouldn't have to go through it again.

 

[Elfgore]

I would let her, but I might just be so awesome she couldn't and she just spends her last years dreaming of how awesome I was.

 

[Hazy992]

I plan on keeping my hand, so yes. I would like to be intact

 

[happyninja42]

Umm... yes?

I mean, what else are they going to do? Stare mournfully at my portrait for the rest of their lives?

Seems like kind of a no-brainer.

And yet it's used as a plot device in movies (usually romance ones) fairly often. Hence why I put up the poll. I was curious if anyone even held that particular viewpoint, or if it's just a pure fabrication by storytellers to inject more drama into their story.

 

[manic_depressive13]

No way, he's mine. I like to imagine that after I die he'll carry on my legacy of protecting tiny animals as a distraction from his misery. Alone, while pining for me.

 

[Zhukov]

Umm... yes?

I mean, what else are they going to do? Stare mournfully at my portrait for the rest of their lives?

Seems like kind of a no-brainer.

And yet it's used as a plot device in movies (usually romance ones) fairly often. Hence why I put up the poll. I was curious if anyone even held that particular viewpoint, or if it's just a pure fabrication by storytellers to inject more drama into their story.

You and I clearly read different books.

Although, for the sake of argument, allow me to point out that the dead party would not necessarily need to feel resentment in order for the living to feel guilt at moving on.

Plenty of people out there who feel guilty over things they really don't need to.

 

[Aerosteam]

Well, I'd find someone else so it's only fair she could too.

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

Current relationship status is complicated, but ignoring that, yes she should find someone else if she wants to. I don't think I'm a very jealous person and if I die then there's absolutely no reason to be. Really, the scenario of me dying has me more worried about me dying and also how she'd be doing after that.

 

[happyninja42]

Umm... yes?

I mean, what else are they going to do? Stare mournfully at my portrait for the rest of their lives?

Seems like kind of a no-brainer.

And yet it's used as a plot device in movies (usually romance ones) fairly often. Hence why I put up the poll. I was curious if anyone even held that particular viewpoint, or if it's just a pure fabrication by storytellers to inject more drama into their story.

You and I clearly read different books.

Although, for the sake of argument, allow me to point out that the dead party would not necessarily need to feel resentment in order for the living to feel guilt at moving on.

Plenty of people out there who feel guilty over things they really don't need to.

Oh I am aware, I'm simply talking about this particular element that I've seen, and how it annoys me. And I was curious how realistic it is when it comes to people's actual beliefs. I know people feel guilty about strange things.

 

[Hagi]

Voted Douglas.

Because really, it's absolutely none of my business. Whatever she wants.

I mean if I die young, It's rather likely she will. But I can easily imagine reaching an age where you're not really into finding someone new to share your life with. You know, with all the time taken up by scaring kinds with hoverboards of your lawn.

Her life, her choice. I'll have no opinion on it whatever she does, being dead and all.

 

[happyninja42]

Um, ok so, I'm confused why Mars Atlas got perma banned for his reply in this thread? It seems fairly direct to the topic at hand? Yeah...uh, I dunno. *confused face* Anyone able to shed some light on it, since I can't see what mod rules were broken with that post.

 

[Semudara]

Ok so, this poll is mostly fueled by a particular trope in movies/books that I find really annoying. You have some character, who had a lover die, and they are now going through the motions of maybe hooking up with someone new. But very often (not always, but often enough), they introduce some "guilt from the grave" plot device, to add up drama. How the person feels like it's some kind of betrayal to their previous lover, to find someone else to love. And I just don't get this one. If I'm dead:
1. I'm dead, I have no more feelings on the matter
2. Why would anyone be that selfish to say "you can't love anyone after me", or at least why would people think that's how their loved one felt? I mean, if the person truly did care about you, and they were even halfway decent, why would they be a dick from beyond the grave, and totally block you by some "none but me!" decree? It's fucking stupid to me, and introduces a fairly pointless bit of drama into a story where we all know they're going to hook up after.

So yeah, this particular bit annoys me when I see it in stories, so what do you think?

If you died, would you want your significant other to eventually get with someone else and be happy? Or would you want them to carry some torch for your corpse?

When I die, yeah, they can do whatever the heck they want. Just like you said, I can't really care at that point. Corpses don't have feelings.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

As long as I don't have to watch her getting banged by the new guy-or-girl from the afterlife, I really don't care one way or another. I'm having a wonderful time with my SO and I hope we can continue living that one love-dream whereby she and I are spinning in a room where leaves fall on us but once I'm dead and gone, I would much rather she move on and find someone else who can make her happy than brood over my passing. Funny enough, she and I have had that talk and she feels the same.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Um, ok so, I'm confused why Mars Atlas got perma banned for his reply in this thread? It seems fairly direct to the topic at hand? Yeah...uh, I dunno. *confused face* Anyone able to shed some light on it, since I can't see what mod rules were broken with that post.

All I can imagine is they requested a ban. I don't SEE anything in the post that's off-rules. Appears to be totally innocuous.

Flagging my own post to see if I can summon a moderator for an answer. If I get banned too, remember my sacrifice.

 

[Skatologist]

Um, ok so, I'm confused why Mars Atlas got perma banned for his reply in this thread? It seems fairly direct to the topic at hand? Yeah...uh, I dunno. *confused face* Anyone able to shed some light on it, since I can't see what mod rules were broken with that post.

All I can imagine is they requested a ban. I don't SEE anything in the post that's off-rules. Appears to be totally innocuous.

Flagging my own post to see if I can summon a moderator for an answer. If I get banned too, remember my sacrifice.

Funny as always Guppy. Anyways, I can tell you for what reason Mars was banned and it doesn't have to do with the post(we've been messaging each other for about 2 hours to get to the bottom of this), but I'd prefer it be through PMs than discussing here as to derail the whole thread.

On Topic: Completely agree with Mars (except with having the SO part ;_

Suppose I could also say that even if I were alive, I wouldn't think I'd mind too much if my SO had more than one of their own. I haven't yet red it, but The Ethical Slut criticizes the idea that love for a SO/sexual partner/life partner is divided or otherwise diminished by having more than one of them. That argument being called a "starvation economy" and the writers of the book make the counterpoint to the idea by addressing the fact that love isn't lessened for a child by their parents if they are a single child or if they had many siblings, therefore love isn't diminished when having to "share it" with more than one partner. Just thought that was interesting.