Poll: If you were sentenced to death, what method you choose?

[RuralGamer]

What ever happened to penal battalions in the army?
"Alright you criminal scum; here we have an enemy minefield. Our tanks and infantry will likely suffer appalling casualties should they try and navigate it under enemy fire. So you will march across it and if you don't feel like it, then our bayonets will make you. If you survive your tour of duty, you will be forgive and if you die, what is left of you will be forgiven."
Actually no, that's pretty weird.

 

[Gurppa]

Death... by Snoo-Snoo!

In real life, I'd choose... no, that's still right.

I was about to say "I would like to be humped until my hips break". But I realized it after I voted so...

Decapitation. That would be quite awesome. But before that I would install a small motor and a mp3-player or something in my head/mouth. Head starts to move its mouth and talk after decapitation? Epic freakout!

 

[ImprovizoR]

I want Jessica Biel to fuck me until I die.

 

[Tjacu]

But I did say cake....

 

[Nickompoop]

Jump off a really, really high building. Guaranteed death, and I get to skydive! Maybe only once, but it'd still be kinda cool. And it'd give the executor quite a mess to clean up.

 

[rvbnut]

Other: Morphine Overdose.
The shit they use for lethal injection is NASTY. It is actually very painful (I've read).

How have you read that it is painful?

 

[GraveeKing]

Giant swinging saw blade, cutting my head off.
Because decapitation is always more fun when it's exaggerated by 10 times over.

 

[Randomologist]

I want a firing squad. Specifically, a Low Orbit Ion Cannon, because if I go down then by fuck am I going to make things awkward for you. Build that shit, then zap me.

 

[Fasckira]

Honestly, I am shocked that we have not developed a painless method of death yet. As much as some monsters deserve terrible deaths...it just seems to primitive and backwards to stoop to their level in order to punish them. We should be able to take them out in one swift painless move.

Not sure if you've already been answered but we do have a painless method. Theres those clinics in Sweden where you take two drinks, one acts as a sedative and the other stops your body from working essentially (with the first drink used to stop your body immediately trying to throw up the second). Puts you to sleep then shuts your body down, painless.

Terry Pratchett covered it in a documentary as hes considering euthanasia and they filmed a guy taking the two drinks. Aside from a moment where he asked for a drink of water after the second glass, he went very peacefully.

 

[Retronana]

Where's topless women avalanche on the poll? That would be ideal.

That or decapitation, quick and only briefly painful

 

[Drunkern_Hobo]

I'd want to be chased by topless women until i fall off a cliff. Just like that bloke from Monty Python's meaning of life.

 

[Treblaine]

Firing squad. For several reasons:
-least likely to go wrong, either the guns jam or I get shot. Not like a slow hanging or botched decapitation
-quickest. 5-6 rifle bullets hitting me at the same time would be insta-death
-seems quite honourable way to go, don't like the idea of being strapped down and suffocated

Seems it's the single most popular poll option.

 

[Monsterfurby]

Thrown off the tarpeian rock. Right before Snu-Snu.

But honestly, probably firing squad, for the same reasons Treblaine outlined.

Also, not to derail the thread, but "why not give them the death penalty", honestly? a) life, as in LIFE in prison is much worse for the perp and a far more threatening punishment. b) No legal system that defends life should do so by killing people itself. It's uncivilized and hypocritical by principle.

 

[BlackStar42]

Death by Snu-Snu while high on pretty much every drug, ever. Arrive at the Pearly Gates in style.

 

[Michael K]

I want to strapped to the main gun of a battleship, and then really go out with a bang.

 

[BryceS62]

it might sound odd by death by grenade

 

[Zeriu]

Being sent on a secret mission behind enemy lines that guarantees death.

This. Sir you have my respect. If you go down you should at least take some bastards down with you.

 

[madster11]

I want to jump out of an SR-71 at it's maximum altitude.

That's a fall of around 110,000 feet. I would need an oxygen mask to stay conscious.

 

[General_Potatoes]

I'd wanna go a lethal injection. Maybe some kind of drug that makes you trip out while killing you from the inside. You wouldn't feel a thing. Probably. Hopefully.