Poll: If you were spanked as a child, do you think it made you a better person?

[justnotcricket]

I was smacked as a child, on the rare occasionas that it was appropriate. It certainly made me think very carefully about what I had done wrong.

I was certainly never beaten - it was only ever a sound tap to the ol' gluteus maximus - which makes it more shocking than actually painful, and it was always accompanied by an explanation of what I had done wrong and why I had better never do it again.

I also never had anything but the flat of someone's hand - as my Mum said (quite wisely, I think), she didn't feel the need to arm herself (i.e. with a wooden spoon, stick, belt etc) against a child.

So yeah, I do think it made me a better person - or, at the very least, hasn't done me any harm.

 

[Valkyrie101]

It was essential. You either hit a kid or you try to reason with it, and three year olds don't understand reason, only simple concepts of positive and negative rewards.

 

[GrizzlerBorno]

A spank is primarily to generate surprise and shame at having angered someone, the infliction of pain is secondary. That's why I look with contempt upon anyone who spanks with an object, if you do that you've missed what part of a spank bothers a small child.

I was using "smack" as a slang. Like smack him with the back of your hand. I didn't mean, beat with an object or anything. That's universally accepted as abuse though right? Sorry if i misspoke.

A spank is to make sure the child is listening to you, not to relieve your anger. -snip- You DON'T smack a child to make yourself feel better.

Yeah, that's fine. But how would you ever enforce that? There are a LOT of miserable people in this world. Miserable adults who have to be verbally raped by their filthy employers and dickhead colleagues all day and return to a household with no peace, because there's this kid....being a kid, and being noisy and annoying. He doesn't have to WANT to dump his anger on the kid. I can completely see it happening unintentionally. In that case (which you CANNOT say is unlikely) why should the kid be, by proxy, punished for the boss' dickyness? is that fair?

Holy shit, that's terrible! That's more likely to disturb a child for longer than a swat on the arse!

I honestly cannot see why. And not because we're talking about my mother whom I love and respect even though she's almost never hit me.

He wasn't scared of my mother or anything; he's just as friendly (and obnoxious) with her as ever. But he listened to that conversation in the car and took away from it the fact that, other people can suffer the consequences of HIS actions, atleast to some degree. So if his parents tell him to not do something next time, he may think twice about whether his parents, whom he loves, will pay for it if he disobey. In that case he will be more likely to listen. I also think it's wrong to assume that kids are intrinsically "stupid beyond repair" upto a certain age though.

The ordeal taught him a bit about responsibility. Which i say, is a damn sight better thing to learn than "Do whatever the fuck you want.....just DON'T piss off Daddy or let him catch on to your shenanigans. Cause then.... your ass... is screwed!"

.....uhh that came out wrong, but you know what i mean. :S

 

[silver wolf009]

At time of writing, I like to think I turned out okay. I support spanking as an extreme, something that says to them "You crossed the last line, you get the worst punishment."

 

[nicholasenj]

I was spanked as a child and am currently studying at one of the top 25 colleges in the US with a full ride scholarship so I think it's safe to say I turned out all right...

 

[Nicarus]

I hated every moment I got spanked, but I think that's where the discipline was applied. I knew if I did bad I got spanked, and the kid-me is like "me no likey the spanky!"

My dad managed to perfect a stare-down method where you didn't get hurt, but you started thinking "Oh my god I'm gonna die!"

 

[Dr Snakeman]

Thank you, sir, for making my point. Seriously, I'm sick of all this crap about how any kind of physical discipline is child abuse. It's needed, and parents who completely forsake it will, more likely than not, raise lazy, amoral people.

See, by that logic, Sweden would be a lazy, amoral country by now, since all form of spanking is illegal and has been since 79. Sweden is one of the most secular countries in the world. We are leading in gender equality and we sure as hell aren't a lazy people.

Well, I've never been to Sweden, so I wouldn't know. However, it strikes me as odd that you think that the best thing you can say about your country's moral standing is that you're "leading in gender equality."

Wow, that came out really passive-aggressive. I'm really just saying that equality between sexes is a secondary moral concern to, say, theft and vandalism. Or murder. Or general dickishness (which isn't really shown on any national surveys).

 

[demoman_chaos]

I support it, as long as it isn't overdone. Overdoing it is bad and other methods are preffered, but there are times when you just have to lay the smack down.

 

[Dr Snakeman]

It was essential. You either hit a kid or you try to reason with it, and three year olds don't understand reason, only simple concepts of positive and negative rewards.

And here, gentlemen, is the heart of the matter. It isn't physical abuse, just a consequence. Kids need to learn that their actions have consequences, and you can't teach that by telling a four-year-old what he did wrong. When they get older, you can phase out spanking.

Also, I'm pretty sure that almost no one here has kids, yet here we are arguing parenting strategies. It's kind of funny. At least to me.

 

[XT inc]

I kinda wish someone had beat some sense into me as a kid, I mean none of their other punishments worked at all. I mean I am the king of not giving a fuck. They took stuff away, didn't let me play games etc, I didn't care, I'd just doodle or read etc. I was a jerk to my parents, seriously beat your kids, worst case scenario besides jail is they dislike you, get a job asap, work their ass off to get out of your house and then when they are free you can go, see you were a mad bro, but I bet none of your friends own their own house,car, and can do whatever they want.

 

[theultimateend]

This is to quash a claim on another thread that anecdotes from people who were spanked aren't proof it works and another person questioned when opinion becomes survey data?

I say: when you make a Poll on the Escapist!!!

So, if you were spanked as a child, please answer whether you support it, due to your own experiences or otherwise. If you weren't spanked, please don't say yes or no solely based on your own opinion of spanking. I've made some options for you, partially to keep you from lying and ruining the poll but also to answer a statistical question of my own...

Have fun, discuss and don't be jerks!!

It didn't change my behavior and merely made me hate my father as a child. It would be quite sometime before we came to see eye to eye. Once he treated me like a person and actually talked to me I began to actually listen.

Now I love him dearly, but at the time his presence was nothing but a burden to the young me (which I find a supreme shame and a fantastic waste in my youth).

 

[Varya]

Thank you, sir, for making my point. Seriously, I'm sick of all this crap about how any kind of physical discipline is child abuse. It's needed, and parents who completely forsake it will, more likely than not, raise lazy, amoral people.

See, by that logic, Sweden would be a lazy, amoral country by now, since all form of spanking is illegal and has been since 79. Sweden is one of the most secular countries in the world. We are leading in gender equality and we sure as hell aren't a lazy people.

Well, I've never been to Sweden, so I wouldn't know. However, it strikes me as odd that you think that the best thing you can say about your country's moral standing is that you're "leading in gender equality."

Wow, that came out really passive-aggressive. I'm really just saying that equality between sexes is a secondary moral concern to, say, theft and vandalism. Or murder. Or general dickishness (which isn't really shown on any national surveys).

I see what you mean, I was about to rant about how important gender-equality is when I read the last bit. Thing is, I tried to find some stats comparing crime-rates with Sweden and countries that allow spanking but it's hard to find, since each countries statistics are based on different data, comparing them are hard. However, I do strongly believe that tolerance and gender-equality are good ways to measure morality. I am proud that my mother made more money than my father when she worked, and that my father learned me how to sew. I am proud to live in a country where I can choose to marry whomever I want. And I do believe things like this is strongly related to not tolerating any violence against children. Not even a "smack".

 

[Sporky111]

Eh, I don't think it's such a black-and-white issue. I think for some kids physical punishment is needed and for others it isn't.

I was a very sensitive kid and afraid of a lot. My parents used physical punishment very rarely, like a slap to the cheek for swearing. Most of what I needed was just strong words and I was ashamed enough not to misbehave.

 

[Thedayrecker]

No. It only made me fear my father, and while I'll stand up to anybody else, everytime we disagree, I usually give up before the arguement starts.

 

[awesomeClaw]

No. No, no no no NO!

Spanking is wrong. I believe causing physical pain to another person is wrong almost no matter what (Unless they hurt you first, ofcourse. Then it´s free game)

Also, there is a simple test to see if Spanking did make you a better person.

Where you spanked? Yes

Do you think spanking is wrong? Yes

= Better person.

Where you spanked? Yes

Do you think spanking is wrong? No.

= It didn´t

 

[superbatranger]

I was spanked when I was younger, but I honestly don't know if it made me a better person than if I were never spanked in the first place.

 

[floppylobster]

I was spanked and all it did was change my opinion of my parents. I might have respected them more if they hadn't resorted to hitting me when talking through the issue or discussing the problem would have been more effective for my personality. My first memory is of my mother hitting me and thinking it was unjustified.

I would say to say spanking is all right is equivalent to saying it's all right to hit your partner to bring them in to line with your way of thinking.

It's illegal to do in my country.

Speaking with a negative tone is just as effective to a child (perhaps more so). And maybe even more scarring. But to say reasoning with children doesn't work is to admit you've never tried it. Humans are born with the ability to read facial expressions and understand voice tone even if they don't know what's being said.

 

[Chrono180]

My parents rarely spanked me because it didn't work. They preferred to ground me, which hurt a lot but wasn't effective because my autism preventing me from being able to think fast enough in the "heat of the moment". Being molested by one of my teachers as a punishment on the other hand, was rather effective and I think it helped me learn the way the world really works. Admittedly, it may have been a cause of my paranoid tendencies that manifested a few years later, but at the time it was quite effective.

Anyway, on spanking I think it is perfectly acceptable as a punishment. In fact, I think almost any punishment that doesn't result in long term damage is acceptable, including light beatings and yelling, (admittedly, most people consider them abuse, but I think they are acceptable forms of punishment)

 

[Varya]

I voted yes, without physical discipline, I would not of had the values I have today. Respect for others, self-control etc. I feel sorry for the parents who don't physcially discipline their children because they are letting them down and I feel sorry for the kids because they are not learning the lessons they need to.

See now, that would mean that no one in my country could have been raised properly for over 30 years. We know for a fact that you can raise kids without spanking. I know I have never been spanked,and I consider myself to have firm moral values, amongst them is that you should never ever, hurt a child. Now I know for a fact, you can raise kids without any physical harm, and I know for a fact that it can give negative consequences. It seems clear to me.

 

[Jake the Snake]

I was spanked, and because of it, its one of the reasons I began to listen/fear/respect my father. I've turned out to be pretty good person, so I would say a little spanking might actually be good for kids.