Poll: If you were spanked as a child, do you think it made you a better person?
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I got spanked and I'm a far better human then those diliquents on the streets and on the bus playing thier music loud, swearing, hanging about achieving nothing and showing complete lack of respect for society.
Upbringing and respect is important in my household and my parents know the difference between hitting to abuse a child and a gentle smack on the bottom for a child refusing to listen. People say grounding is better, I'd like to see them deal with me kicking, scratching and smashing anything I could find, people say a frim hold and angry stare works, my parents tried that, that didn't work either, it would usually result in me screaming and throwing a tantrum and people say words do the trick but again, I was far too busy screaming and shouting to listen to petty words people had to say, I'm good at blanking out the world, very good at it. People say a lot of things, but people need to mind thier business, I will give my children a smack on thier backsides too if they step out of line but I don't intend to bruise and injure them, there is a big difference and I really don't care what anyone thinks about it, because in the UK where spanking is a taboo, there are more deliquent yobs and asbo teens then most countries in Europe which is downright embarrassing.
Before people can tell you not to spank, they should look at how well behaved the spanked ones are then look at the ones who recieved so called alternative discipline aka no discipline at all.
Upbringing and respect is important in my household and my parents know the difference between hitting to abuse a child and a gentle smack on the bottom for a child refusing to listen. People say grounding is better, I'd like to see them deal with me kicking, scratching and smashing anything I could find, people say a frim hold and angry stare works, my parents tried that, that didn't work either, it would usually result in me screaming and throwing a tantrum and people say words do the trick but again, I was far too busy screaming and shouting to listen to petty words people had to say, I'm good at blanking out the world, very good at it. People say a lot of things, but people need to mind thier business, I will give my children a smack on thier backsides too if they step out of line but I don't intend to bruise and injure them, there is a big difference and I really don't care what anyone thinks about it, because in the UK where spanking is a taboo, there are more deliquent yobs and asbo teens then most countries in Europe which is downright embarrassing.
Before people can tell you not to spank, they should look at how well behaved the spanked ones are then look at the ones who recieved so called alternative discipline aka no discipline at all.
It gave me a fear of punishment, respect for authority and a good understanding of how pain hurts. At least..that's what i think it might've helped with.
Nope, it just teaches you to know that pain keeps your 'subordinates' in line and breeds another generation that will do exactly the same thing, so no it doesn't work and there are many better ways to deal with it, like giving the carrot more, not the stick.. sticks lead to pain
Didn't help my relationship with my dad, though. At least back then.Headsprouter said:
Whoopsy, hit ''quote'' instead of ''edit''.
It taught me to respect authority, know that pain hurts and that the threat of it should be taken with weight, and that punishment should be feared and not merely shrugged away. I have never talked back to a teacher, a stranger, or really anybody I had no personal issue with.
So, yes. I believe it made me a much better person.
So, yes. I believe it made me a much better person.
Being spanked does not make you a better person just as how not being spanked doesn't make you a better person either. They have nothing to do with each other. I dislike spanking as there are much more effective means of teaching children a lesson that doesn't include committing violence.
I never got spanked or received any similar physical disciplinary measures. My parent would simply wait out my tantrums. They were very good at teamwork. If I threw a fit, one would simply bring me to a more secluded area (if we were in a public space) and wait until I was done crying. Though I don't remember being too difficult to my parents. I think it's because they tricked me into believing we didn't have the money to buy that Ice Cream I really wanted. They basically became skilled at hiding their money from me.
I couldn't agree more. My dad stopped spanking me when i was 12 but he stopped spanking my little brother at 5. Bit unfair. Maybe if my little brother (now 10) would have learnt to keep his voice down by now and actually be respectful to adults and peers had he been spanked.Shoggoth2588 said:
I was, and I seem to be a good person. It's the only punishment that truly keeps children from ending up as bratty whiny teens with no respect, like Hannah Montanna, who is apparently such a goooooood role model.
One thing was (and still is) i am much more sensitive to verbal punishments (eg. yelling, scolding, any kind of shouting in my face) than physical. I used to get quite upset when a teacher yelled in my face, now i just end up hating that particular teacher and beleiving them to be unproffesional.
Definitely made me a better person. And taught me to listen to authority figures. Only when I am adamant I am right (So much I am willing to expect the promise of pain) do I resist.
Yes I know perfectly well that quote from ancient Greece about children being out of control, and I`m not one of those people going out of my way saying children are all out of control today.Varya said:
As for the research data, that's never going to establish itself as a fully legit argument because too many people have personal experience (myself included, and 50+% of the people polled) that says otherwise. I mean I grew up with 5 siblings and we all got spanked when we stepped over the line, and the majority of our friends got the same treatment... to suggest that we were physical abused (going by your definition) by our parents with long lasting effects is simply absurd. Additionally, I would question how impartial these studies are, as I'd imagine they're done by like minded people to yourself who equate spanking as child abuse. If you equate spanking to child abuse, then do you differentiate what I consider to be simple discipline on one hand and real child abuse on the other in your study? Either way you're going to have as much luck convincing me of this as you are telling me that the Earth is flat.
Perhaps a better way to put, taking the step from my view point to yours, if someone were to take the same step from there one might conclude: parents may not discipline their children period. They`ll say we're not allowed to just hit people in society, but in the same manner other ways you discipline your children doesn't doesn't translate to adult society either. Let's take 3 forms of discipline:
1. A spanking - physical assault!
2. Grounded to your room - unlawful imprisonment!
3. No Candy for a month - wait till the union here's about this!
If you step into a child's shoes, say you get offered a choice of discipline between getting a spank or being denied treats or privileges for a period of time, is one going to be that much worse than the other? It's not like children don't experience pain, you're always going to have scraped knee's or banged heads. It's all abusive punishment one way or the other, so let's get rid of discipline altogether and just use words to explain to children what they're doing wrong. And only kind words of course, you can hurt someone with a tongue lashing in a different way but just as well as with a hand.
Mmm, maybe. But when my mum and dad just told us off, I just shrugged it off and didn't pay attention. First time my dad clipped us one was when I vandilised property. Didn't do it again. I needed to learn (as a child), bad actions = pain and therefore I didn't want to get smacked again so I sure as hell didn't do it again. Then as I grew I learned that vandalising is just a fucked up thing and thus, now (as an adult) I don't do it because of reasoning and not becasue it's related to pain.Varya said:
In caveman terms: Kids are stupid, some (like moi) need physcial punishment. Not a hardcore beating but a clip across the lug a few times. Some kids maybe just need a telling off... pussies xD
I don't think spanking alone does that. If you mean punishment, then yes, punishment teaches kids that every action (in this case bad) has consequences. But that does not mean spanking is the only effective way of punishment. For me, at least, a spank seems insignificant in physical damage but runs the chance of mental damage. It really comes to what the kid takes out of it. If they think, "Hey, if someone does something wrong then they deserve physical punishment for what they did (AKA: beating them senseless)," then the spanking brought some baggage on them. I'm not saying that spanking is horrible and should be made illeagal, but instead that there are other alternatives that don't incite physical violence against a child.Dana22 said:
although i understand that nobody enjoys spanking, and some people use it as their first resort, my parents only did it to me when i really REALLY did something bad or to seriously piss them off; and since it was a rare occurrence, it really drove home some lessons that reason and reward didnt.
i have a pretty crappy memory though, so i cant think of any specific incidences, though i know that that, in part at least, helped teach me morals (theft is bad etc.) and that i dont know everything (like i would do something i was given very good reasons not to and when those actions led to the consequences my parents tried to prevent), and other such essential life lessons, a quick spanking really made it hit home that it was a bad idea.
i have a pretty crappy memory though, so i cant think of any specific incidences, though i know that that, in part at least, helped teach me morals (theft is bad etc.) and that i dont know everything (like i would do something i was given very good reasons not to and when those actions led to the consequences my parents tried to prevent), and other such essential life lessons, a quick spanking really made it hit home that it was a bad idea.
Nothing sets a child straighter than a quick hard smack to the behind. Any parent that doesn't employ this tatic when their child is out of line is not doing their job.
I can safely say I didn't turn out broken and miserable on account of receiving discipline.
I can safely say I didn't turn out broken and miserable on account of receiving discipline.
I really hope you are being sarcastic. Going on the assumption that your not, ill say this to you. YOUR WRONG. I don't care that you felt spanking helped you become a better person, everyone is liable to their own opinions. But blaming all of the wrongs that we have in modern society on the idea that they weren't spanked as children is ridiculous. With all likelihood, just as many of them were spanked as children as normal members of society were. Don't jump to such sudden conclusions next time, it makes you sound ignorant (which I'm guessing that since you are on the Escapist you are not...)Batfred said:
