You're getting mixed up in semantics. By spanking, the vast majority of us mean "a single slap".Lucifron said:
Poll: If you were spanked as a child, do you think it made you a better person?
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Let me just get this straight...you condemn all parents who have ever used spanking as useless parents?AndyFromMonday said:
Are you sure you want to go down that route in this discussion?
But we're above animals, are we not? The simple fact that I can have this discussion with you proves that.Azure-Supernova said:
Why is that not a mistake? Shouldn't we use superior tactics since we're, from an evolutionary standpoint, more intelligent than animals? I mean fuck, we've reached the goddamn moon and yet we're unable to find a way to raise our children.Azure-Supernova said:
Yes it is and it will always be the business of others once violence gets thrown in the fray.Azure-Supernova said:
It's funny how violence is frowned upon almost everywhere except when it comes to raising children.Azure-Supernova said:
I was spanked, and although I hated it at the time, I'm grateful for it now. I know that it made me a better person. As other people have said, pain is the only punishment that gets through to disobedient children.
No. I'm saying that violence will lead only to more violence. That violence is never the answer and that if you're unable to face the hardships of raising a child without the use of violence then you should ask yourself why you became a parent in the first place.The_root_of_all_evil said:
It depends really my mom always did the hitting and as a result I could say that I love my Dad more than my Mother and I'm normally more hostile towards her. Both me and my brother were scolded this way but we both turned out to be two completely different individuals, one with more discipline with with less.
In the end it probably did nothing but make my relationship between me and my mother rather complicated.
In the end it probably did nothing but make my relationship between me and my mother rather complicated.
Stasisesque said:
I don't know. The chance of a child becoming agressive or not seems to be 50% 50% which is weird. Maybe more research needs to be put into spanking. Still, as it stands, it's still using violence to discipline a child and I can never agree with violence.
Yes, I was. Yes, I recall it. And, most importatnly, yes it made me and both of my siblings (an older brother and a much older sister) 'better' people. We are all polite, but for the most part we are the best of friends. My mother always thought it was best for us to be friends and to hate our parents than vice versa. Perhaps post natal depression had it's hand in this, but I feel that the sentiment was one of generosity and "wanting the best for us", and for that i am gratefull.
I was slapped a few times; I hate that my parents did it.
No child should be brought into this world to be physically attacked by the one/two person(s) they should always love and always come to.
Any physical punishment to a child ins't disapline or a last resort - it's a parent who has lost control of the situation and their ability to be a parent, and look after the child.
No child should be brought into this world to be physically attacked by the one/two person(s) they should always love and always come to.
Any physical punishment to a child ins't disapline or a last resort - it's a parent who has lost control of the situation and their ability to be a parent, and look after the child.
Blatantly and provably untrue.AndyFromMonday said:
Most parents ask themselves that every time something goes wrong.
"What could we have done better?"
What they don't do is pick on one insignificant part of the upbringing and blame it squarely on that.
That's what the tabloids do. Because if your "violence creates violence" spiel exists, how come that even Dr Benjamin Spock said that spanking is usually not the case?
You are basing your entire philosophy on what your family did, and then putting it across as the only way to live. The level of egotism there is extraordinary, and strictly offensive to any of us that have had parents who have spanked us in the past.
As I'm sure you can ascertain, in the past, children were treated more poorly. Had your spiel been truthful we would have grown more violent as a species. We have provably grown less violent and more caring, and how? I won't say spanking is the cause, but there's a strong correlation that it could be beneficial or neutral - if used in moderation.
Quick test for you: As you turn around, your child is pulling at a towel. On top of the bench, on this towel, is a cup of boiling water that you put down a minute ago.
You have literally seconds to act. Do you:
A) Spring across, pull the child/cup away and admonish a sharp shock so that he knows it's dangerous (even though he wasn't truly in the wrong)
B) Spring across, pull the child/cup away (scaring the child) and then lie to say that it's Daddies fault.
C) Pause to consider your options and then take the child to hospital with third degree burns.
Quick Poll Check: Yes leads all other options combined.
Yes, I was spanked and frankly it did keep me in line. I'm only 18 at the moment, and I can really understand why my parents did it. It was never the hardcore belt spanking, or humiliation spanking (in front of my friends or anything). So I think it did help make me a better person.
Personally, I think it depends on how you define violence. I define it "malicious intent to cause substantial harm to another human being."AndyFromMonday said:
Spanking does not fall under that definition because it doesn't have malicious intent behind it, nor does it cause pain that lasts any more than a few seconds. I don't think spanking should be used all the time, but if the child simply cannot be reasoned with, then a couple swats on the butt or back of the leg is fine.
I was spanked as a child and I'm doing just fine.
In my book, there is no middle ground on this. I was never spanked, it is illegal in my country but more importantly, my parents would never accept any such behavior. I would never strike a child, there is no "deserving it" and I do not think I could be friends with a parent that spanked their children. Now, I know there are differences in culture and that believing in and practicing spanking on your children doesn't make you bad, but I do think it is wrong and it is something that I have strong feelings about. Physical violence might work, but not for the reasons it should. If a child does right for fear of physical harm, it is not right, it is bullying. Yes, of course you could turn out alright, but I honestly believe that it would be despite of spanking, not because of it. And one child turning out bad because of it is one to many.
I was spanked a few times as a kid, maybe twice, so I don't really know if that makes me a candidate or not but I think punishments should be more along the ironic side. I.e if your kid won't stop yelling at the dinner table, don't let on to his or her existance until they stop it.The old go to your room thing dosen't learn them anything, they then think everything they do gets an arbitrary time penalty. You have to make the kids understand why its bad instead of just ruining their fun. Unless of course they're ruining their siblings fun lol. The time out was a quick fall back, no creativity, teach the children don't just punish.
Looking back on the corporal punishments I had meted out as I grew up, I think it benefited me; several people have already pointed out how is instilled a 'fear of consequences', and I can totally identify with that.
Mind you, I've ironically turned out a sexual masochist, but that's a story for another thread.
Mind you, I've ironically turned out a sexual masochist, but that's a story for another thread.
I find the idea of inflicting pain to obtain compliance to be morally reprehensible. If a child obeys an adult out of fear, then that child is not learning to be an empathic being. If inflicting pain on children is permitted in some form, then how can a society prohibit such punishment? Where is the measuring stick for harm?Varya said:
Well I was spanked, smacked around, abandoned...
Well I now have homicidal tendencies that I can't control, and when hit I respond with far more violence then normal
You guys do the math
does beating the crap out of your kid every time they mess up and spanking them every time they cry because they screwed something small up under the excuse "I'll give you something to cry about"
...I lost track of where I was going with this
Well I now have homicidal tendencies that I can't control, and when hit I respond with far more violence then normal
You guys do the math
does beating the crap out of your kid every time they mess up and spanking them every time they cry because they screwed something small up under the excuse "I'll give you something to cry about"
...I lost track of where I was going with this