Poll: Impossible nerd questions

[stabnex]

oh god

In 1977 Han shot first. But George Lucas thought that depicted him as too much of a bad guy. So..

In 1997 Greedo shot first through the miracle of CG editing. But George didn't like that either because Greedo was too much of a pussy to have managed the shot first. So..

In 2007 Han and Greedo Shot at the same time thus ending the argument and satisfying George's need to slaughter his beloved franchise once and for all.

Now I need to go cut myself and weep.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

Han, obviously.

Can a Lightsaber cut Superman?

Nope. Lightsabers can't cut through things like force fields and vibroblades; I figure Superman probably fits into the same category.

If Superman is invincible, how can Kryptonite hurt him?

'Cause he's not. Krypton had higher gravity and a red sun; living on Earth with our yellow sun and pitiful gravity is what gives him his superpowers. Kryptonite is radioactive bits of the now-destroyed Krypton, so thanks to artistic license, his usual superpowers are negated just by having bits of his homeworld near him.

The man has flesh made of what should at most be called a dense chitin that looks like human skin--maybe thick enough to stop bullets, but he repeatedly gets the crap beat out of him by energy weapons. And if they were doing it in the usual spot for epic lightsaber battles, which is to say somewhere dark and industrial, and away from the sun, the Superman is fucked, no?

 

[Trivun]

A parsec is a unit of distance not time, how did the Millennium Falcon make the Kessel run in less than 12?

I've lost count of how many times I've answered this question here... It's explained in the EU that the Kessel Run is basically a gauntlet of black holes and so on that make navigation extremely treacherous in one part of space. Thus starships usually go around the Run rather than through it. 12 parsecs is the shortest distance anyone has ever made it through, and that was Han Solo who managed to navigate a distance of less than 12 parsecs. This was also the fastest run ever, since not only was Han outrunning Imperial cruisers but was also using the gravity of the black holes to propell the Falcon to superluminal speeds, close to speeds reached in hyperspace. So the quote from Episode IV is completgely correct and accurate, even though he's talking about distance rather than time.

Oh, and OP? HAN SHOT FIRST!!!!!

 

[stabnex]

A parsec is a unit of distance not time, how did the Millennium Falcon make the Kessel run in less than 12?

You're not wrong. Kessel is a planet whose star system is located on the very edge of a cluster of black holes. By skimming the Falcon closer to the singularities he actually traveled a shorter distance than his "by the books safe distance" pursuers and managed to pull a normally 15 parsec getaway in under 12.

EDIT: aw hell! ninja'd!

Every time Jack O'Neill steps through the Stargate he says the same line. What was it?

 

[Thaius]

A parsec is a unit of distance not time, how did the Millennium Falcon make the Kessel run in less than 12?

He did, in fact, make it in 12 parsecs, as a unit of distance.

If you know anything about the Kessel Run, you know that it's a complicated maze in-between a cluster of black holes. You must be precise and accurate, and there are few known paths through it that will allow you to navigate it safely. So a theory is that Han safely navigated it in such a way that he did so in under 12 parsecs without being sucked into a black hole. Meaning, basically, that he managed to cut some corners and get out alive.

EDIT: Dang, ninja'd. Twice. Fail.

 

[THEMILKMAN]

oh god

In 1977 Han shot first. But George Lucas thought that depicted him as too much of a bad guy. So..

In 1997 Greedo shot first through the miracle of CG editing. But George didn't like that either because Greedo was too much of a pussy to have managed the shot first. So..

In 2007 Han and Greedo Shot at the same time thus ending the argument and satisfying George's need to slaughter his beloved franchise once and for all.

Now I need to go cut myself and weep.

Which one was it with that crappy edit of Han dodging Greedo's shot?

 

[Kuchinawa212]

Han...Duh

Now here's one. Does Boba ever crawl his way out of the Sarlacc pit? In Canon?

EDIT

To Twilight guy. It was the only question I ever thought was hard, do I like kirk or do I like Picard. I am a Picard man all the way

AND

Rod Serling was a paratrooper and a boxer, true or false?

Spoiler

true and you better know who Rod Serling is

 

[spacecowboy86]

Kirk or picard?

Can a lightsaber cut Adamantium?

the real question is can a lightsaber cut vibranium (captain america's shield(it's stronger))?

 

[Deleric]

If you took a dump inside the holodeck of the Starship Enterprise, would the dump process through the holographic toilet, or would it phase through?

This haunts me.

 

[atalanta]

Han...Duh

Now here's one. Does Boba ever crawl his way out of the Sarlacc pit? In Canon?

Do you consider the Extended Universe canon? Because if so, yes he did. Because he is one bad-ass ************.

Han, obviously.

Can a Lightsaber cut Superman?

Nope. Lightsabers can't cut through things like force fields and vibroblades; I figure Superman probably fits into the same category.

If Superman is invincible, how can Kryptonite hurt him?

'Cause he's not. Krypton had higher gravity and a red sun; living on Earth with our yellow sun and pitiful gravity is what gives him his superpowers. Kryptonite is radioactive bits of the now-destroyed Krypton, so thanks to artistic license, his usual superpowers are negated just by having bits of his homeworld near him.

The man has flesh made of what should at most be called a dense chitin that looks like human skin--maybe thick enough to stop bullets, but he repeatedly gets the crap beat out of him by energy weapons. And if they were doing it in the usual spot for epic lightsaber battles, which is to say somewhere dark and industrial, and away from the sun, the Superman is fucked, no?

True about the energy weapons, whoops.

But Supes doesn't lose his powers every time he leaves earth/goes underground, so I figure he must store energy like a battery or something, so he'd still be able to do everything else.

Would a lightsaber reflect his laser eyes? It would have to, wouldn't it?

 

[LockeDown]

Han...Duh

Now here's one. Does Boba ever crawl his way out of the Sarlacc pit? In Canon?

No. Boba Fett dies. Period.

 

[stabnex]

oh god

In 1977 Han shot first. But George Lucas thought that depicted him as too much of a bad guy. So..

In 1997 Greedo shot first through the miracle of CG editing. But George didn't like that either because Greedo was too much of a pussy to have managed the shot first. So..

In 2007 Han and Greedo Shot at the same time thus ending the argument and satisfying George's need to slaughter his beloved franchise once and for all.

Now I need to go cut myself and weep.

Which one was it with that crappy edit of Han dodging Greedo's shot?

2007. In that version his head wrenches back and forth Exorcist style from all the damned CG editing.

 

[stabnex]

Han...Duh

Now here's one. Does Boba ever crawl his way out of the Sarlacc pit? In Canon?

No. Boba Fett dies. Period.

No. Boba Fett sets off a thermal grenade, is blown free, rescued by one of Jabaa's slave girls and another bounty hunter named Dengar.

 

[Kuchinawa212]

Han...Duh

Now here's one. Does Boba ever crawl his way out of the Sarlacc pit? In Canon?

Do you consider the Extended Universe canon? Because if so, yes he did. Because he is one bad-ass ************.

Han...Duh

Now here's one. Does Boba ever crawl his way out of the Sarlacc pit? In Canon?

No. Boba Fett dies. Period.

Han...Duh

Now here's one. Does Boba ever crawl his way out of the Sarlacc pit? In Canon?

No. Boba Fett dies. Period.

No. Boba Fett sets off a thermal grenade, is blown free, rescued by one of Jabaa's slave girls and another bounty hunter named Dengar.

I thought something like this was going to happen. Yeah I think he get's away, but you just never know XD

 

[BehattedWanderer]

Han...Duh

Now here's one. Does Boba ever crawl his way out of the Sarlacc pit? In Canon?

Do you consider the Extended Universe canon? Because if so, yes he did. Because he is one bad-ass ************.

That dude is one bad-ass mother fucker.

Han, obviously.

Can a Lightsaber cut Superman?

Nope. Lightsabers can't cut through things like force fields and vibroblades; I figure Superman probably fits into the same category.

If Superman is invincible, how can Kryptonite hurt him?

'Cause he's not. Krypton had higher gravity and a red sun; living on Earth with our yellow sun and pitiful gravity is what gives him his superpowers. Kryptonite is radioactive bits of the now-destroyed Krypton, so thanks to artistic license, his usual superpowers are negated just by having bits of his homeworld near him.

The man has flesh made of what should at most be called a dense chitin that looks like human skin--maybe thick enough to stop bullets, but he repeatedly gets the crap beat out of him by energy weapons. And if they were doing it in the usual spot for epic lightsaber battles, which is to say somewhere dark and industrial, and away from the sun, the Superman is fucked, no?

True about the energy weapons, whoops.

But Supes doesn't lose his powers every time he leaves earth/goes underground, so I figure he must store energy like a battery or something, so he'd still be able to do everything else.

Would a lightsaber reflect his laser eyes? It would have to, wouldn't it?

I say totally to the laser eyes. But while he doesn't lose his power, he would run out at one point, and the one thing Star Wars would definitely have on him would be the whole massive mechanical complex/subterranean basement after twenty story fall full of ledges/midspace fight, all of which are far from direct sunlight, which is how he would recharge. And if they beat him down far enough with the lightsaber that he didn't have enough energy to bust out through all of it towards the nearest sun, he'd totally be screwed, no?

 

[LockeDown]

No. Boba Fett sets off a thermal grenade, is blown free, rescued by one of Jabaa's slave girls and another bounty hunter named Dengar.

Uh....no. Boba Fett, with his clearly malfunctioning (ie BROKEN) jetpack is swallowed by the Sarlaac, doomed to be consumed over how ever many thousands of years it takes the beastie to work his metal-covered carcass through its intestines.

And I'd like to point out that the "Extended Universe", endorsed by George Luca$ to cash in on whatever fan loyalty he could find, IS NOT CANON.

 

[Zacharine]

Which would make our very own comissar Hero of The Imperium run faster (assuming there's no-one of consequence to witness it): coming face-to-face with a Genestealer, or being on the business end of a plasma pistol wielded by a Chaos Sorcerer?

 

[stabnex]

No. Boba Fett sets off a thermal grenade, is blown free, rescued by one of Jabaa's slave girls and another bounty hunter named Dengar.

Uh....no. Boba Fett, with his clearly malfunctioning (ie BROKEN) jetpack is swallowed by the Sarlaac, doomed to be consumed over how ever many thousands of years it takes the beastie to work his metal-covered carcass through its intestines.

And I'd like to point out that the "Extended Universe", endorsed by George Luca$ to cash in on whatever fan loyalty he could find, IS NOT CANON.

You know, you're just no fun.

OT: Considering how much George "Franchisaside" Lucas has changed to the "Canon" story at this point, we might as well accept the Extended Universe stuff also as canon just so we can all get along.

 

[stabnex]

Kirk or picard?

Can a lightsaber cut Adamantium?

the real question is can a lightsaber cut vibranium (captain america's shield(it's stronger))?

I think a lightsaber COULD cut through adamantium, but NOT Captain America's shield because I'm pretty sure Vibranium is the Marvel name for cortosis.