Poll: Is being shy bad?

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Zhukov

The Laughing Arsehole
Dec 29, 2009
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Well, it could just be a case of the grass being greener on the other hill but as a somewhat shy person it seems to me that outgoing people have it better.

I mean, how often do you hear someone say, "Aw gee, I wish I was more shy"?
 

King Billi

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Jul 11, 2012
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All the times I forced myself to venture out of my shell and ultimately came to hate and regret what I found lead me to say that being shy and withdrawn can be a good thing.

On the other hand all the brilliant things I've got to experience only because someone else urged or straight up pushed me into it lead me to say being shy can be detrimental.

I suppose it all comes down to whether or not you're the kind of person who regrets the choices they made or the ones they didn't
 

Cowabungaa

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Feb 10, 2008
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Zhukov said:
I mean, how often do you hear someone say, "Aw gee, I wish I was more shy"?
Pretty much this.

I mean, it's basically a form of social anxiety. It's debilitating, so of course it's bad.
 
Feb 7, 2016
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Shyness, like any form of social anixety, is bad. If no one wants it, I don't see how it could be a good trait.

My social anxiety has affected my ability to get a job, to keep a job, and live my normal life. I quit my job because of social anxiety because when I'd get home after being forced to interact with people in situations where I literally had zero power, I would sometimes cry myself to sleep.

Now, I think you mean something a bit less severe, like just someone who is hesitant to come out of their shell a bit with people, and again, I would call it a bad trait, but it's not a trait people should be shamed for. At least for myself, it's literally a mental condition I have little control over. I can improve for certain (I have been for years, slowly), but no matter what when it happens, it's like a malfunctioning instinct in the back of my mind telling me that social situations are something to be feared.
 

bluegate

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Dec 28, 2010
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If it is affecting your way of life in a negative way than yes, it is a bad thing and help should be sought to try to overcome or cope with it.
 

Lil devils x_v1legacy

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May 17, 2011
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Being passive, less confident, less assertive can impact your life negatively in many ways. Oddly enough though many people mistakenly believe the opposite, according to the extensive data on how criminals single out potential target, they found that shy people are more likely to be targeted because the criminals see them as "an easy target." The more passive someone is, the less likely they are to fight back, make loud noise and to report the crime. Take Rape for example:
Rapists however, are very good at interpreting non-verbal facial clues, such as a downward gaze or a fearful facial expression.

Even though it is thought that women who dress provocatively are the most likely to be rape, studies show that women with passive, submissive personalities are more likely to get raped. These women tend to wear clothes that are concealing such as high neckline, long pants and long sleeves. This may sound ironic but, predatory men can identify submissive women by their style of dress.
https://hubpages.com/politics/Through-the-Eyes-of-Criminals-Ways-not-to-be-Singled-Out

Thea easier it is for the perpetrator to tell that you are shy the more likely they are to target you over someone else. It is also difficult for shy people to make the necessary networking connections that they need for work, or assert themselves accordingly to advance themselves in their careers. People, for the most part, are usually much better off long term in numerous areas of their lives to benefit from trying overcome their shyness than to allow it to keep them afraid to assert themselves.
 

Pyrian

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Jul 8, 2011
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Preferring your own company and/or the company of close friends is fine. Lacking in the ability to engage in social behavior, in contrast, is a problem, and frankly a fairly severe one in a lot of contexts. I encourage introverts to learn to overcome their concomitant shyness, not to change them into extroverts, but simply so that when they want the ability to be social, they can.
 

bartholen_v1legacy

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Jan 24, 2009
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Aside from some people finding it cute, no. There's a reason for classes and courses being held for people to get rid of it, or at least reduce their shyness. Being able to take initiative, look people in the eye, express yourself clearly and hold conversations with strangers are qualities that will help in all walks of life. I'm almost inclined to say that less qualified, but more outward going people are more likely to land the job than more qualified, but demure and shy ones.
 

loa

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Jan 28, 2012
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Unless you find being a ruminating king in the castle of regret to be a worthwhile outlook in life then yes, it's bad.
If you want the cookie, say you want the cookie or live forever wondering how the cookie might have tasted.
 

Lufia Erim

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Mar 13, 2015
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Yes. Being shy is bad. And you should never tell children they are shy. Because then they will continue being shy and it could develop into asocialism.
 

Parasondox

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Jun 15, 2013
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No but can get ridiculously annoying if they either do it cause they think it's cute all the bloody time or just refuse any kind of face to face interaction.
 

Parasondox

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Ezekiel said:
In most circumstances, yes.
Parasondox said:
No but can get ridiculously annoying if they either do it cause they think it's cute all the bloody time or just refuse any kind of face to face interaction.
People annoy you because they don't want to talk to you?
No no. What I meant was, say you no someone for a while and in a relationship with them. At first the shyness is fine cause you both just met and getting to know each other. Fast forward months or half a year later and the person is still shy and barely saying a word to you in person and only giving one word answers. They talk more via messaging than they do in person. It can be annoying at times.
 

Silent Professor

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Jun 16, 2017
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Lufia Erim said:
Yes. Being shy is bad. And you should never tell children they are shy. Because then they will continue being shy and it could develop into asocialism.
I agree that shyness is not good because it prevents you from getting certain opportunities, but what is wrong with being asocial? Asocial refers to the lack of motivation to engage in social interaction, or a preference for solitary activities. I don't see what is wrong with that if you know how to properly interact with other humans.
 

Parasondox

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Ezekiel said:
Parasondox said:
Ezekiel said:
In most circumstances, yes.
Parasondox said:
No but can get ridiculously annoying if they either do it cause they think it's cute all the bloody time or just refuse any kind of face to face interaction.
People annoy you because they don't want to talk to you?
No no. What I meant was, say you no someone for a while and in a relationship with them. At first the shyness is fine cause you both just met and getting to know each other. Fast forward months or half a year later and the person is still shy and barely saying a word to you in person and only giving one word answers. They talk more via messaging than they do in person. It can be annoying at times.
That doesn't happen. Not if you know them that well. If they're not speaking much, it's NOT because they're STILL socially anxious around you. They just don't care to talk much and they find it easier to slowly compose and communicate their thoughts via messaging.
Maybe. I ain't an expert on this.
 

Casual Shinji

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Jul 18, 2009
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If you strive for human interaction, then yes.

It's not terrible or anything and it can be endearing, but I recon you're not talking about the average bout of shyness.