Poll: Is grinding with another person of the opposite sex considered cheating?

[Qizx]

It somewhat depends on the situation you are in.

My girlfriend of four years has never once grinded with me on the dance-floor no matter how drunk both of us got, because she never did it with me I probably would consider it cheating if she did it with another person of the opposite sex.

And to say it's not sexual is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

See, she and I have grinded before, but I still feel as though now that I've let her know how serious I find this to be, any further actions would be considered cheating.

 

[Stordarth]

This would be both before and during, however during was only with her.

That might be worth mentioning in your defence. If you put yourself out there as knowing why she enjoys it - having partook in it yourself - and make the distinction of 'before' and 'during' clear to her (i.e. you grinded with people before, but only with her since then), I think that might help you out in relaying your point across, showing that you gave up something you enjoy (I presume you -did- enjoy it when you did it) out of respect for her, and that all you're asking is the same courtesy in return.

Regardless of how you go about it, good luck. I hope you resolve it favourably for yourselves.

 

[Dragonbums]

It's a slippery slope.
As many people on this thread already stated, it is very sexually charging.
However unless she goes the extra mile to actually bang the guy then yes it would be cheating.

 

[Callate]

It's kind of a tough call. In as much as she was up front about it, it sounds like it wasn't cheating in her mind, and intent does make a difference. Also it's possible to have someone grind against you on the dance floor without really being a participant. But... Grinding against someone intentionally? Several someones...? And then having no idea what might have transpired in between dances?

I wouldn't be comfortable with that.

It's true that there's an element of courtship and/or intimacy in most traditionally male/female dances, but, barring maybe the lambada, there's none that I'm aware of in which pressing your groin against your partner is a requisite. Dances can be innocent, heck, even kissing can be innocent, but grinding is about half a step away from dry-humping. I'd say it's well within your rights not to be okay with that. Just don't be a jerk about it, especially if it was innocent in her mind.

 

[hutchy27]

Certainly sexual but I'm unsure if I would go as far as calling it cheating, however she shouldn't be doing it in my opinion.

 

[Phasmal]

I consider it crossing a line, but that's just me. You have to set your own limits on what you will accept in your relationship.
I guess I can be quite prudish when it comes to things like that but my boyfriend is too so it works out.
You just have to be on the same wavelength, really, and it doesn't sound like you two are.

My usual rule is; if you wouldn't do it in front of your partner, don't do it when they aren't there.

 

[Dango]

It's definitely sexual, but I wouldn't say cheating. Either way it'd probably get me kind of mad :/

 

[AgedGrunt]

Cheating might be an extreme word to use. Personally I believe if you're in contact with another person in a way that you couldn't be honest with your SO, or would need to break it to them that you did something, then you may have slightly cheated.

The thing about "cheating" is it's a breaking of (unwritten) rules. It's possible "grinding" was just something she's always done and no guy ever had a problem with it (or knew). Either way, if you're not comfortable with what your SO does with other people, talk to them and be honest. If they refuse to change or don't respect how you feel, it might be a sign you're not compatible.

 

[FieryTrainwreck]

The "let her rub her genitals together with another man's genitals to prove you're secure in the relationship" ploy is oddly reminiscent of the "if you're secure in your heterosexuality, you shouldn't be so hesitant to put my penis in your mouth" ploy. In other words, it's idiotic. You don't prove the strength of your relationship by intentionally hurling yourself at its boundaries to see if it shatters. That's just being a shitty partner.

I'm sorry, grinding isn't dancing any more than is dancing. There are almost an infinite number of ways to dance that do not involve rubbing your ass or crotch on a strange man's dick. Also: the idea that an attached girl would be "too polite" to put an aggressive grinding dude in his place is just too funny. I mean she's going to put some strange, rude asshole's feelings above those of her goddamn boyfriend? Really?

Think about it from her point of view. Why is this a thing worth protecting or preserving? What kind of a girlfriend, upon being told that her boyfriend doesn't approve of her rubbing genitals with other men, reacts with deflection? Does she want an open relationship? Is she simply not serious about you? If the answer to both of those questions is no, and she STILL desperately needs to grind with strange men on a somewhat regular basis... maybe she should seek counseling. Because honestly, that sort of "need" isn't exactly on par with "needing to get back to nature" or "needing to clean the house".

 

[senordesol]

Intimate physical contact with someone in a highly provocative fashion who is not your partner is as close to cheating as you can get.

When it comes down to it: relationships are about mutual affection for each other and mutual respect for the wishes of the other person. A relationship that's based on edging the technical definition of the line is not a healthy one.

So, no, it isn't cheating; but it's so close to it that it might as well be.

 

[Weaver]

I would dump her immediately. If she can't see how you might be concerned with her rubbing her genitals against another male's genitals then I can't see this being a very successful relationship.

Maybe she'll grow out of the need to do such things.

It's not cheating, but it certainly should be something she's willing to stop doing because you're uncomfortable with it. If she isn't willing then you've got the perfect excuse to dump her "She couldn't stop rubbing guys nuts all over her ****".

Me too, I've been down this path before and it's just not worth dealing with. I tried to keep the relationship going but in the end I ended it and I'm glad I did.

If the other person can't understand why rubbing their genitals on someone else's could cause distress in a relationship then they're not fit to be in one.

I no longer date moronic party girls and everything's worked out pretty well.

 

[Images]

Its not cheating, but its not really cool (unless you have an open relationship yadda yadda yadda). I wouldn't really stand for it. Dancing? Fine. Sexy dancing? Maaaybe, context specific. Grinding? Hell no. It may not be a quickie in the alley but there's definite "I would like your winky in my pinky (or stinky)" vibes to that dance motion. You'd be in your rights to tell her to cut it out.

 

[DANEgerous]

Sexual yes, Cheating not by default and to be honest you have to kind of be an ass to say it is, that or engaged/married or at leas a fairly long term relationship say half a year. As for me I have no demands or will to be in any form of committed relationship and if you want an open relationship or to be polyamorous fine you are even more likely to get me into that than a something monogamous. Also if it has been over half a year and you never spoke of the boundaries you have get on that.

Now that applies to me, what it means for all reasonable people is talk about what is or is not cheating. Want to make admiring a person cheating? Fine that makes you a stuck up **** that no one wants to date nor should they as you are utterly insecure but have ad it. Not this only applies to things you agree on.

By default I want to say if it is not viewed as sex (That is to say actual sex not anything sexual) fine but if I am honest anything that is a kiss or more is likely a violation.

It is all about communication. I have what would amount to 2 Ex partners that are both married and they nor their partners have any qualms with me, it was sated and understood what cheating was and I never have done so which makes for exactly what I want in a relationship.