Poll: Is it OK to date your best friend's ex-girlfriend

[chozo_hybrid]

No! No! Not OK! Hear now, children, the wisdom of the elders...fine, so I'm 18, but mentally I was born at about 35, so I think I still qualify.

It's not OK. It will not be OK a month from now, two months from now, a year from now. The ONLY TIME it will become OK is if you grow up, stop associating with this guy, forget that he ever existed, and then by some remote cosmic miracle That Slut From Whatever Grade You're In finds her way back into his life and they get married. And even then, I wouldn't attend the wedding.

That was a pretty immature response you know.

 

[Agayek]

What the fuck is wrong with boys today? Do guys not have fathers to teach them the goddamn man rules? No wonder society's so fucked up. Alright, listen up, kid. You may not have your daddy teachin' you the rules, but I'm probably old enough to be your father, so I'll have to do.

Watch some beer commercials or something, boy. It is NEVER OK to date a girl who broke it off with one of your buddies. Ever.

And the girl's a slut. Not only does she go right after your best friend, but she's trying to steal him from another girl. She's poison. Your buddy shouldn't date her ANYWAY.

Welcome to the womanization of society. I'm surprised it took you this long to realize it's been happening for at least the past 20-30 years. Probably more, but I can't be bothered to look for it any further back.

@OP: SimuLord is 100% correct. It's never acceptable to date a friend's ex, or at the very least not for a few years afterwards.

You should probably also warn off your buddy before she gets her claws in him.

 

[Paulie92]

Will it hurt your friendship? If not go nuts, if so you have to ask yourself how much do I like her? vs. how much do I like him?

to the others why isn't it OK?

As much as we'd like the world to believe we sprang fully formed from the granite of the Earth, hard and cold as stone. Fact is we have feelings too. Women get to weep, watch rom-coms, hold hands, vent, PMS, cry some more, and keep a live journal. All we have to protect us is the rules.

Shame on any man who doesn't keep to them.

OK, but that didn't really tell me anything, my question was more why do people make up and follow arbitrary rules and codes instead of just doing what they feel is right?

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

That is a low-blow to your friends.

 

[chozo_hybrid]

Will it hurt your friendship? If not go nuts, if so you have to ask yourself how much do I like her? vs. how much do I like him?

to the others why isn't it OK?

As much as we'd like the world to believe we sprang fully formed from the granite of the Earth, hard and cold as stone. Fact is we have feelings too. Women get to weep, watch rom-coms, hold hands, vent, PMS, cry some more, and keep a live journal. All we have to protect us is the rules.

Shame on any man who doesn't keep to them.

OK, but that didn't really tell me anything, my question was more why do people make up and follow arbitrary rules and codes instead of just doing what they feel is right?

Beats me, but like I said earlier, there is someone I'm interested in who sort of falls into this category.

I say go with your gut, when it comes to emotions and such, don't listen to others regarding issues like this unless they have a better reason then the ones people are currently giving.

 

[The Eggplant]

No! No! Not OK! Hear now, children, the wisdom of the elders...fine, so I'm 18, but mentally I was born at about 35, so I think I still qualify.

It's not OK. It will not be OK a month from now, two months from now, a year from now. The ONLY TIME it will become OK is if you grow up, stop associating with this guy, forget that he ever existed, and then by some remote cosmic miracle That Slut From Whatever Grade You're In finds her way back into his life and they get married. And even then, I wouldn't attend the wedding.

That was a pretty immature response you know.

Eh, take it with a grain of salt then...or a whole shaker-full, if you prefer. In fairness, I probably should have put the ever-useful [/sarcasm] tag up, but in my defense this particular scenario hits a bit close to home for yours truly. Even if it didn't resonate personally, though, the idea that someone would attempt to break up a healthy relationship while simultaneously knowing that it will break up a healthy friendship at the same time strikes me as fairly repulsive. Doesn't matter if it's male or female...you try something like that, in my book you're a creep.

Again, that's my two cents. Call it uninformed, immature, what-have-you. It's an opinion, not the immutable law.

 

[chozo_hybrid]

No! No! Not OK! Hear now, children, the wisdom of the elders...fine, so I'm 18, but mentally I was born at about 35, so I think I still qualify.

It's not OK. It will not be OK a month from now, two months from now, a year from now. The ONLY TIME it will become OK is if you grow up, stop associating with this guy, forget that he ever existed, and then by some remote cosmic miracle That Slut From Whatever Grade You're In finds her way back into his life and they get married. And even then, I wouldn't attend the wedding.

That was a pretty immature response you know.

Eh, take it with a grain of salt then...or a whole shaker-full, if you prefer. In fairness, I probably should have put the ever-useful {/sarcasm] tag up, but this particular scenario hits a bit close to home for yours truly. Even if it didn't resonate personally, though, the idea that someone would attempt to break up a healthy relationship while simultaneously knowing that it will break up a healthy friendship at the same time strikes me as fairly repulsive. Doesn't matter if it's male or female...you try something like that, in my book you're a creep.

Wait, obviously I missed something. She's trying to break someone up to have him? My bad.

Still, I had someone leave me for someone else who left his girlfriend a few weeks prior to that a couple of months ago. So I understand that.

 

[The Eggplant]

No! No! Not OK! Hear now, children, the wisdom of the elders...fine, so I'm 18, but mentally I was born at about 35, so I think I still qualify.

It's not OK. It will not be OK a month from now, two months from now, a year from now. The ONLY TIME it will become OK is if you grow up, stop associating with this guy, forget that he ever existed, and then by some remote cosmic miracle That Slut From Whatever Grade You're In finds her way back into his life and they get married. And even then, I wouldn't attend the wedding.

That was a pretty immature response you know.

Eh, take it with a grain of salt then...or a whole shaker-full, if you prefer. In fairness, I probably should have put the ever-useful {/sarcasm] tag up, but this particular scenario hits a bit close to home for yours truly. Even if it didn't resonate personally, though, the idea that someone would attempt to break up a healthy relationship while simultaneously knowing that it will break up a healthy friendship at the same time strikes me as fairly repulsive. Doesn't matter if it's male or female...you try something like that, in my book you're a creep.

Wait, obviously I missed something. She's trying to break someone up to have him? My bad.

Still, I had someone leave me for someone else who left his girlfriend a few weeks prior to that a couple of months ago. So I understand that.

If I read the initial post right, the girl in question left the OP and is now trying to get with the OP's friend, who is in the 9th month of a healthy relationship with another girl.

And I've had something very similar to what you're describing happen to me...so yeah, I understand the motivation completely. That still doesn't make it right in my book, but I do know where it's coming from.

 

[Actual]

Will it hurt your friendship? If not go nuts, if so you have to ask yourself how much do I like her? vs. how much do I like him?

to the others why isn't it OK?

As much as we'd like the world to believe we sprang fully formed from the granite of the Earth, hard and cold as stone. Fact is we have feelings too. Women get to weep, watch rom-coms, hold hands, vent, PMS, cry some more, and keep a live journal. All we have to protect us is the rules.

Shame on any man who doesn't keep to them.

OK, but that didn't really tell me anything, my question was more why do people make up and follow arbitrary rules and codes instead of just doing what they feel is right?

Well in plainer speak; if you date your friend's ex, he will say it's fine and it doesn't bother him. This is because he is a man and he's not allowed to sob into his ice cream about it. SO you will never truly now if you are hurting your friend by dating his ex, it's impossible to know for sure.

So we have the rules, so we never have to admit that our friend dating our ex hurts our feelings, men never date their friends ex's.

 

[Paulie92]

I'm sorry, but that's ridiculous, Anyone who is your friend should feel completely comfortable telling you that something you've done makes them uncomfortable. I can't see how it's your responsibility to safegaurd someones feelings when they won't tell you. The other flaw is what about your feelings? Are you just supposed to ignore any potential feeling you have for the lady in question to protect your friends deep and dark secrets? I thought these were supposed to be mans rules, not little boys rules

 

[chozo_hybrid]

No! No! Not OK! Hear now, children, the wisdom of the elders...fine, so I'm 18, but mentally I was born at about 35, so I think I still qualify.

It's not OK. It will not be OK a month from now, two months from now, a year from now. The ONLY TIME it will become OK is if you grow up, stop associating with this guy, forget that he ever existed, and then by some remote cosmic miracle That Slut From Whatever Grade You're In finds her way back into his life and they get married. And even then, I wouldn't attend the wedding.

That was a pretty immature response you know.

Eh, take it with a grain of salt then...or a whole shaker-full, if you prefer. In fairness, I probably should have put the ever-useful {/sarcasm] tag up, but this particular scenario hits a bit close to home for yours truly. Even if it didn't resonate personally, though, the idea that someone would attempt to break up a healthy relationship while simultaneously knowing that it will break up a healthy friendship at the same time strikes me as fairly repulsive. Doesn't matter if it's male or female...you try something like that, in my book you're a creep.

Wait, obviously I missed something. She's trying to break someone up to have him? My bad.

Still, I had someone leave me for someone else who left his girlfriend a few weeks prior to that a couple of months ago. So I understand that.

If I read the initial post right, the girl in question left the OP and is now trying to get with the OP's friend, who is in the 9th month of a healthy relationship with another girl.

And I've had something very similar to what you're describing happen to me...so yeah, I understand the motivation completely. That still doesn't make it right in my book, but I do know where it's coming from.

Ah okay, I fully understand now. I apologize for what was typed earlier

 

[Mad World]

I really don't know.

Most likely, it depends.

 

[HTID Raver]

this is when man law takes place