Poll: Is it OK to date your best friend's ex-girlfriend

[banksy122]

"Arbitrary rules and codes"? "What they FEEL is right?" Good thing I ain't yo' daddy or I'd smack you, boy.

The code is there so men are on the same page. So we don't have to guess what's right or (God save us all) FEEL what's right. That's girlie-man shit right there. Might as well cut off your junk 'cause you're more than halfway to being a woman.

You know the saying "a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do"? And y'know how a man always seems to know what that is, and when he doesn't, that's what his father or his friends are for? You never hear "a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do", because women have that whole FEELINGS thing going and it's why there ain't a man alive who can figure out a woman.

"We are a generation of men raised by women. And we're pissed off." - Tyler Durden[/quote]

This is why I hate men, and yes I am male myself. Not showing your feminine side only shows you are insecure. Men don't need to be tough and emotionless these days to prove anything. They did a few centuries ago to prove they could protect their families, but not anymore.
Stop being jerks, get over yourselves and start treating women with bloody respect. "Bros before Hoes" disgusts me, 1. your so called bro will not always be there for you, seeing as they can't even express their emotions 2. Your so called hoe, should go find somebody who is less of a jerk, because they are in fact, are going out with your because they care. Men disgust me.

In this case, you both seem very young, and those relationships never work out, but if it is really what you want, go for it, just don't come running back if or when it fails.

 

[stutheninja]

It honestly depends on who left who cause the waiting periods can vary dramatically.

 

[triggrhappy94]

My ex-girlfried, who broke up with me just over 3 weaks ago cause it was "too awkward" after two days, is trying to go after my best friend. We all hang out in the same group, we were all friends during, before, and after the relationship. Also my friend is in a relationship, 9 months strong.
Is it OK to date your best friend's (most recent, if that changes anything) ex-girlfriend?

So... wait... are you asking if it's okay for your mate to dump his woman for your ex or if it's okay for you to pounce on his woman if he shitcans her?

well i was asking if its OK if she goes for him, but i've been thinking about going after my friend's GF if he goes for my ex cuz she is hot

OT: its good to see the bro-code hasn't gone the way of chivalry

 

[quiet_samurai]

According to the man code.... no you don't. I personally never have and plan on never doing it.

But.... for others, it really depends on how long they were together and how much he liked her. If she was just a passing ship in the night then I guess it would be OK, I myself wouldn't mind if I was the first guy. However, if he really liked her and they were together for a long time, then hands off.

Hell you know what they say.

And damn straight too!

A mates ex is absolutely out of bounds. Its in the rules. And you don't argue with the rules man.

As rad as this is, in my experience..... the whole bros before hoes thing is usually adamantly followed only by the guy that isn't getting any.

 

[Yureina]

I don't like how that sounds... yeah I don't think that's very cool.

 

[Zedzero]

I try to date girls outside my main cluster of friends, just so it not weird when I stop talking to them / this sort of thing happening.

 

[The Shade]

"4.If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:
A. Was an ex-girlfriend.
B. Your Bro specifically told you he wanted her.
C. Is your Bro's sister.
However, if it's your Bro's cousin, well she's up for grabs, and you're welcome to rub it in his face for years to come."

Well, there's no arguing with the Bro Code - it is our highest code of laws, after all.

 

[Kunzer]

What the fuck is wrong with boys today? Do guys not have fathers to teach them the goddamn man rules? No wonder society's so fucked up. Alright, listen up, kid. You may not have your daddy teachin' you the rules, but I'm probably old enough to be your father, so I'll have to do.

Watch some beer commercials or something, boy. It is NEVER OK to date a girl who broke it off with one of your buddies. Ever.

And the girl's a slut. Not only does she go right after your best friend, but she's trying to steal him from another girl. She's poison. Your buddy shouldn't date her ANYWAY.

Perfect response. +1. Everything I could have said, only, better.

 

[Plurralbles]

well, there was a very attractive girl a guy on my flor was with but now is with someone else and we went to a concert and he was feeling her up the entire time and making out. I suppose the original boyfriend would have been there if it wasn't for the coupling.

Basically, it's a *****/dick move.

 

[duchaked]

What the fuck is wrong with boys today? Do guys not have fathers to teach them the goddamn man rules? No wonder society's so fucked up. Alright, listen up, kid. You may not have your daddy teachin' you the rules, but I'm probably old enough to be your father, so I'll have to do.

Watch some beer commercials or something, boy. It is NEVER OK to date a girl who broke it off with one of your buddies. Ever.

And the girl's a slut. Not only does she go right after your best friend, but she's trying to steal him from another girl. She's poison. Your buddy shouldn't date her ANYWAY.

in general I woulda just said 'eh it's complicated, it depends'

but after a close encounter and it became more of a personal experience sort of thing...

gotta go with the comment above (and many of the other guys' responses): NOOOOOOOOO

 

[Acaroid]

My ex-girlfried, who broke up with me just over 3 weaks ago cause it was "too awkward" after two days, is trying to go after my best friend. We all hang out in the same group, we were all friends during, before, and after the relationship. Also my friend is in a relationship, 9 months strong.
Is it OK to date your best friend's (most recent, if that changes anything) ex-girlfriend?

my current girlfriend of over 5 years use to go out with a friend of mine. For only a few months mind you. I sent him a sms first saying "hey I am interested in her, ill give you a chance to patch things up with her if you wish, but if you don't care or it is cool just let me know"
then he went and saw her, patched things up, talked to her and made it clear he didn't care if I went out with her. So yeah all good

 

[teisjm]

My ex-girlfried, who broke up with me just over 3 weaks ago cause it was "too awkward" after two days, ...

You mean she was only your girlfriend for 2 days? if so, no offence, i'd hardly call that a relationship... more like a one night stand with an expansion pack or something.

As for your friend, if he's been with his girl for 9 months do you think he'll leave her for your ex? cause if not tehres not really a problem right?

Generaly i'd say it really depends, i'f never date my best friends ex, mainly cause i'd find it weird myself, but even if i didn't, i wouldn't do it if he wasn't 110% okay with it, and he would be in his good right to not be.

 

[BonsaiK]

Wow. Just wow.

The misogyny emanating from most posts in this thread is so thick you could use it to lay cement.

If I was dating a girl, and then we broke up, and then she went out with my best friend, as long as they worked out well together, I would be really happy for the both of them. You know, because I'm a mature adult and stuff. Once I break off with a girl, my entire claim to who she can see and what she can do with herself (if I even had such a say in the matter in the first place) ends right there, no exceptions.

Not naming names or going to quote and argue with people in this thread, but come on guys - you should know better.

 

[FoAmY99]

Didn't Burt Reynolds and a few other guys create a man law for this situation, all while drinking a cold Miller Lite? (which is disgusting beer but i digress) The law states, 6 months, but only if she's smoking hot.

 

[thenoblitt]

its man law that you cant do that unless you get his blessings

 

[Eleima]

No, definitely not. And if this girl is going after your friend when he's already in a committed relationship, then frankly... I don't want to start flinging nasty names around, but she's not worth it. Any woman worth her grain of salt knows that you don't go after after another woman's man. At least that's what I was taught.

 

[Virgilthepagan]

Ok...so kudos to whoever started the thread, I joined the Escapist just to tell you how bad of an idea this is. And while my reasoning's be a bit lengthy, it's unfortunately true, I'd just rather no one else has to deal with this sort of mess.

I dated a girl a while back. It lasted for a few months, and as we were both going into college I opted to end it. She was...less than alright with this. After proclaiming that she loved me and bursting into tears I sprinted off to another life with a quick goodbye. We stopped talking after a few months, and I moved on, even if I felt bad for ending it the way I did. In the mean time, my best friend's similarly long relationship ended in a hilariously over the top fight and a month long sulk (she, incidentally, was another ex, so it's proof it can go both ways). The exact time frame for this starting is still unknown to me, but my friend, being the meddler that he is decided that he wanted to patch things up between myself and my ex.

Of course, telling me about any of this would be too much trouble, so he started talking to her. Guess what happens next, she declares that he is cute after a few phone calls, and by the winter break when we're all home, he confesses that he's started seeing her. I'd heard very little, I knew they were talking, facebook's feed is unfortunately good at telling me things like this even when I don't want to see this. But it was still news to me. He proclaimed his affection, that she loved him (that was quick) and that he was sorry but this was just how it went. I was initially just shocked and a little betrayed, but it's since turned to anger, and a little bit of protectiveness. I know he's cheated on her, and while I'm not dating her anymore, what am I supposed to do? Sit back and let him hurt her?

Any relationship, friendship or otherwise is founded on trust. I don't have that with him anymore. If I can't trust him to leave my past relationships alone, why can I trust him with anything?

I've known this guy for over ten years, but it's been a struggle to simply talk for any length of time. We can't talk about anything personal anymore, after all, there's too much history with the girl in question. By now, the professions of love are everywhere I look, and even though he hesitates to talk to me about life, he can't resist saying how much he loves her, which, annoys me to no end at this point. I'd love to point out the holes in their relationship and sink it, but he's my friend right? So I'm stuck half hating both of them.

Trust me, it's not a place you want to risk getting caught in. Bros before hoes, no matter how hot she is there's other fish in that sea.

Sorry about that, needed to get it off my chest anyways...