Poll: Is it possible to be friends with your ex?

[Boba Frag]

I came out of a long distance relationship at the very start of March, barely home a week after visiting her in her country. Whether or not the relationship was doomed to begin with is not up for discussion, however.

I did not want to have much else to do with them after we broke up, but lately they've convinced me to give being friends a shot. While this is ok most of the time, it really doesn't take much for us to start fighting about something.

I tried severing ties before, but they were unwilling to. They have since moved on and are going out with someone else. As you can tell, I have not.

I'm just wondering if I'm wasting my time trying this being friends thing and if I'm justified in thinking that they're being unfair- expecting further friendship in spite of all the times they've upset and let me down over the last few months.

In a bit of a bind, fellow escapsists! :-/

 

[Marter]

I believe you can, but only after any romantic feelings are gone. You still could be friends, but you'll have to suppress them at that point, and that isn't really healthy, so it's usually not even worth the effort. Once you no longer feel for your ex, then you should try to be just friends.

That's how I think it should work anyway.

 

[InnerRebellion]

I'm friends with mine, and I try to move past what we had. I didn't like seeing her with her new boyfriend, because he's ALL that she talks about, and he happened to be her ex before me, but now that I have a new girlfriend, my feelings for her are gone.
So basically what Marter said.

 

[Thyunda]

Being friends is possible. But don't become reliant on it. Don't seek to be her friend. If she signs into MSN or whatever, or maybe you can drop an email just asking how she is. Don't imply you're asking if she's recovering from the relationship.
Just a simple 'hey, how are you?' is fine. If she gets bitchy about it, then you can criticise it. Not to get at her, but to make her realise she's being unnecessarily harsh.
I'm friends with my exes, even if they tried to kill themselves or me during the relationship. The ones I don't talk to, it's simply because it's not convenient to do so, but I'll send a happy birthday Facebook message and such.

Being an ex is no reason to be avoided.

 

[Mookie_Magnus]

I'm friends with both of mine.

One of them has a very cute girlfriend, now.
And the other is dating one of my good friends.

 

[meticadpa]

I'm friends with all of my ex-girlfriends except one.

 

[Edorf]

That very much depends on how the breakup was, really... if it was one of those breakups which happens in a friendly manner, it's completely possible (The, I like you... but I dont LOVE you)
If it was an angry breakup (You know, the "I HATE YOU *Throws nearest hard object after you*") It might be slightly harder.

Either way, good luck

EDIT: Who's the other one that voted strip club!?

 

[dex-dex]

With things like exes are a bit tricky .
I have gone out with guys who I am still very good friends with. As long as they are not dicks about it. The significant other really does not to have a friendship with you and maybe if they have moved on then maybe you should as well. Somethings are just not meant to work out.

 

[Frequen-Z]

I have 3 exs

The one from longest ago is a fantastic friend, probably the best irl friend I have, we can talk about anything and nothing is awkward. I don't see her very often at all.

The more recent one and I are good friends, I see her even less than my older one, but we're still chummy.

The most recent ex? I wouldn't piss down her throat if her lungs were on fire.

tl;dr sometimes, depends on who you are and who they are and various other things.

 

[BonsaiK]

I came out of a long distance relationship at the very start of March, barely home a week after visiting her in her country. Whether or not the relationship was doomed to begin with is not up for discussion, however.

I did not want to have much else to do with them after we broke up, but lately they've convinced me to give being friends a shot. While this is ok most of the time, it really doesn't take much for us to start fighting about something.

I tried severing ties before, but they were unwilling to. They have since moved on and are going out with someone else. As you can tell, I have not.

I'm just wondering if I'm wasting my time trying this being friends thing and if I'm justified in thinking that they're being unfair- expecting further friendship in spite of all the times they've upset and let me down over the last few months.

In a bit of a bind, fellow escapsists! :-/

Answered in the Relationship Problem thread, at the following link: ----> http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161-Relationship-problem-thread?page=42#7274656

p.s what's with that poll? Eight choices for a closed question?

 

[Embz]

Im really good friends with one of my ex's and my sister is even going out with his brother. We go to different uni's but we still meet up every holiday for a catch up. Im also still friendly with another ex but we only really talk over facebook ect.

 

[no oneder]

I hate, hate all of my exes. All of them were serious jerks and assholes and actually two of them dumped me! Can you believe that?

But I guess you could try to keep a healthy friendship with her if you both want. I want to imagine you guys ended up good; no fights, right?

 

[cyber_andyy]

I would say In most cases, no. Simply because you're both think about the romantic past you've had. Its makes it awkward. If you can get over that, then carry on.

 

[Jark212]

Really depends on how the relationship ended,like if it ended out of necessity and peacefully a friendship could be achieved. But if it ended with cheating, mutual hate, mental disorders, or your local SWAT teams involvement theres no way in hell your going to be friends...

 

[newfoundsky]

This quote Snipped by the Federal Institution of Snipping and Snip Like Activities

Hrm. . . Do you love this girl?

 

[Scde2]

Actually, I am friends with someone I used to go out with. It was very awkward at first, but we never had any problems since we broke up.

 

[Kif]

In my experience, nope... but that's because they've screwed me over and I hold grudges. Given that fact, I will say it depends on how the relationship ended as not all relationships end with someone getting screwed over.

 

[HSIAMetalKing]

It should be possible-- realistically, if your ex was a person who you were genuinely attracted to and interested in, there should be no reason why you can't be friends. But breakups are messy business sometimes.

 

[The Righteous One]

It never worked for me. But I guess it would depend on the relationship. If you love someone truly and they throw you away like your nothing, I guess you have reasons to be upset. And with that kind of a person you would not like to be friends with.

And I think broken relationships are not a good basis for friendships.