I've had a couple of exes that I've stayed in touch with and we're on friendly terms. But I do have a couple of others who, if they dropped off the face of the earth, I don't miss. Guess it depends on the relationship you had in the beginning.
Poll: Is it possible to be friends with your ex?
- Thread starter Boba Frag
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I'm good friends with my ex. It should probably be mentioned that our break-up was not at all as messy as break-ups can be. It's hard, but possible in this case... i just have to try not to think of her in a romantic way anymore.
If you dont see each other for a couple of years it should work. Provided you dont spend that whole time pining after her/him.
It depends, but from my experience of both long distance and local relationships, we've always managed to be civil with each other, and I still see the one when I go down to London to see other friends, but we've never been as close as we were.
It's nice being civil with them where possible, talking on MSN, the odd text, but ultimately you should concentrate on yourself and seeing your other friends. There are plenty more fish in the sea and when you meet someone else being friends with your ex can bring unwanted complications.
It's nice being civil with them where possible, talking on MSN, the odd text, but ultimately you should concentrate on yourself and seeing your other friends. There are plenty more fish in the sea and when you meet someone else being friends with your ex can bring unwanted complications.
It depends on how strong the relationship was before you started dating, what kind of people you are and how it ended, but it's definitely possible. I'm friends with two of my exes. I tried to be friends with another, but then he started doing the clingy thing that led to me dumping him in the first place.
There are many factors involved in whether you can be friends or not. Personally I haven't had much luck staying friends with exes. It has only worked with my last so far, and even then it has only been a few months and it feels quite shakey on my end. I've always been the dumpee, which usually leaves me with the residual feelings after its over.
However, I have known for it to work. One of my housemates is still close friends with her ex, to the poing that he visits quite often with is current girlfriend (my housemate's boyfriend lives here too). Other friends of mine have also managed to get the friendship to work.
I suppose it comes down to your feelings about the situation. If just beiing friends is too hard on you, just drop it and move on. Otherwise you'tre just going to be dragging everything up every time you see them. Do what works for you.
However, I have known for it to work. One of my housemates is still close friends with her ex, to the poing that he visits quite often with is current girlfriend (my housemate's boyfriend lives here too). Other friends of mine have also managed to get the friendship to work.
I suppose it comes down to your feelings about the situation. If just beiing friends is too hard on you, just drop it and move on. Otherwise you'tre just going to be dragging everything up every time you see them. Do what works for you.
Depends, I burned bridges with one of my ex's then a few years later we met at some party, and were cool with each other again.
Certainly not possible in my situation, but really it just depends on how the relationship ended.
well i say you can be very good friends afterwards. About a year after me and my girlfriend of 2 years broke up we started talking again and i now consider her one of my closest friends. It's a unique sort of friendship since we know each other so well and we have both put each other through so much shit that we can just be totally comfortable around each other, also we had some of the best sex with each other after we became friends. In reality though i consider myself lucky, it really depends on how mature people are weather they can be friends after a break up or not, let alone have sex again without things getting complicated. Only thing i can say it takes time, and you have to let time pass for both people to deal with their shit, so even if you might feel ready to be friends again, your ex might not be ready yet. It's worth it if you can, but dont try to force a friendship either.
EDIT: I had a response typed out, but decided to remove it as what I said had been said already, and stated better.
Best of luck to everyone
Best of luck to everyone
Personally, I'd say it isn't possible. I find any interaction with an ex to be highly awkward and unsettling. However, I do know people that happily get along with all of their former partners. Therefore, this may have more to do with my interpersonal issues and less with post-dating relationships.
In my experience it's VERY difficult at first, and probably counter-productive. To have clarity of heart and mind, it's probably best to stay out of touch for a fair few months until you (and your ex) are clear on what you feel. If it's still too painful, stay apart. If you reckon you're strong enough, then sure, be friends.
To me it seems fairly clear that the problem here is the adjustment. Just after a break up it is often too painful when you realise that you don't have the same access (emotionally! I heard that chuckle at the back...) to your ex as you're used to. Once you can accept that, and you're happy in yourself without needing the crutch of having another person with you, then you can be friends.
Just so you know the kind of ratios we're talking about:
I've managed to stay friends with 1 out of every 5 girlfriends, and always after a significant break in contact.
To me it seems fairly clear that the problem here is the adjustment. Just after a break up it is often too painful when you realise that you don't have the same access (emotionally! I heard that chuckle at the back...) to your ex as you're used to. Once you can accept that, and you're happy in yourself without needing the crutch of having another person with you, then you can be friends.
Just so you know the kind of ratios we're talking about:
I've managed to stay friends with 1 out of every 5 girlfriends, and always after a significant break in contact.
I voted no. Because you can be, in theory, if and only if you no longer have any feelings for them. In my experience it doesn't work so well, if I'm single then it's like "hmm bootycall?" which doesn't happens since they're respectable and also have mostly had new boyfriends after not too long. The other thing is, if you're ok with it and then get a new girlfriend and tell her the truth, it's very likely that she will NOT be ok with it. I had one long distance GF who I continued to be friends with after visiting her, having a lot of sex, and then going home and we broke up not too long after lol. Well, for me I didn't have that strong of feelings for her, I suppose I knew it was an unlikely thing so I didn't let myself get too invested. Same for her I think, so we were just friends and chatted very rarely on FB or whatever. I told my current GF the truth about her, and after the ex wished my happy bday my gf got jealous (???) and I had to remove her as a FB friend lol. Extreme, but that's the way it is.
Yes. I have a friend who dates like, a girl every month, and somehow he manages to stay friends with almost all of them.