Poll: Is it wrong to be a social shapeshifter?

[Dorian]

Let's see, if this is true, then what the hell are the exact same people doing by saying that people can change? It's like yelling at a dog for using the bathroom indoors, but punishing them for going outside. What the hell's he supposed to do?

 

[Abedeus]

Let's see, if this is true, then what the hell are the exact same people doing by saying that people can change? It's like yelling at a dog for using the bathroom indoors, but punishing them for going outside. What the hell's he supposed to do?

There is, again, a difference between 2 or more personalities and improving your character. A prisoner that learns his lesson isn't a social shapeshifter. Someone who pretends to be a groovy hippie, while being a hardcore metal fan is a shapeshifter.

Oh, and dogs learning by punishment are subjects to Pavlov. It's a natural process of avoiding painful actions or ones that make the owner unhappy/angry. They ARE quite intelligent, after all. My dog even knows when I'm making fun of it.

And of course, trying to complete actions that make the owner happy.

 

[Cylem]

I guess it depends to what degree one "shape-shifts". It's one thing if one is just being polite and/or not subjecting people to insensetive verbal diarrhea, which is fine and dandy, but to outright lie to people for no morally-justifiable reason is pretty wrong.

 

[Dorian]

Let's see, if this is true, then what the hell are the exact same people doing by saying that people can change? It's like yelling at a dog for using the bathroom indoors, but punishing them for going outside. What the hell's he supposed to do?

There is, again, a difference between 2 or more personalities and improving your character. A prisoner that learns his lesson isn't a social shapeshifter. Someone who pretends to be a groovy hippie, while being a hardcore metal fan is a shapeshifter.

Oh, and dogs learning by punishment are subjects to Pavlov. It's a natural process of avoiding painful actions or ones that make the owner unhappy/angry. They ARE quite intelligent, after all. My dog even knows when I'm making fun of it.

And of course, trying to complete actions that make the owner happy.

I never said it was a good change. Just a change to fit in better. And I was using the dog bit as a demonstration. They just say you can't do this, but neither can you do the other thing.

 

[Meta Like That]

As long as you're not a tool, I'd say it's a useful skill.

Ditto, but if you're like me and do it only to sleep with a slew of women, you;re a horrible person (I forgive myself. But can you forgive Yourself?)

Forgive myself for what? I like being horrible. Lets people know I mean business.

 

[Skalman]

Wrong? No.
Stupid? Yes.

 

[olicon]

Being a social shape-shifter is bad because you are denying yourself. Like OP said, it's human nature to want to be accepted, but there are many ways to go about that. Being accepted as someone else is the next best thing, but I hardly think it would be very enjoyable.
However, there is a facet that is uncontrolled, and everyone do act according to their environment to a certain degree. (I think that would be your case, and your friend was probably exaggerating). For example, my speech pattern changes entirely depending on who I talk to. Not only the words I use, but even my accent will flip around. I have been noted to speak to two people who are next to each other in completely different accents and dialects before.

 

[Railgun88]

No, it's simple. It's human nature to feel wanted, needed, or accepted. We all just look for the human interaction. It's just easier to find people to be yourself with to save yourself the trouble of being called a fake.

 

[szs0061]

in my opinion social shapeshifter dosnt mean faker i mean i for instance have many different personalities so thus i act differently around different friends

 

[Zildjin81]

Its not wrong, you just encounter problems when around lots of people and they get to hate you for it.

 

[jimBOFH]

Depends what you mean by "social shapeshifter". I wouldn't say I change the way I behave, but the language I use and the subjects I would talk about would vary depending on the company I was in. For example I'm not going to say "LOL, pwnt" when talking to people from my parents' or grandparents' generation.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

If you work in retail, social shapeshifting is a necessity.

 

[Railgun88]

I don't give a shit what is thought of me.

Then you have no respect to yourself and your heritage.


End of discussion, kthxbye.

I prefer to think of it as irreverant apathy.

Also, fuck you.

Calm down. It's not that he doesn't (hopefully) respect himeself but he accepts who he is and doesn't cause trouble for himself by conforming. He (hopefully) probably saved himself from getting in trouble to.

 

[Inarticulate_Underachiever]

I'm unsure.

I know a guy who completely changes who he is to make more friends so in my eyes if you do it to be popular than I think it's wrong.

However if people naturally take a liking to you and you change so you can be the person people recognize you as then that's cool I think.

Leave me alone, I'm tired

 

[Andsre]

I don't give a shit what is thought of me.

Then you have no respect to yourself and your heritage.


End of discussion, kthxbye.

Sounds a bit contradicting in my head. You say, that "shapeshifting" means you have no selfrespect, but appearently the same goes for people who don't care what other people think?

Won't bother entering a flamewar with you, but I honestly think you have a warped idea of what social shapeshifting is (well, I might too).
I've always seen it as "filtering yourself" (in lack of better word). You know what may seem funny with one group and (without thinking about it) say/do that while doing something else with another group. You won't do stuff you don't enjoy, but if you like "Your mumma..." jokes, you'll tell them in the group that likes those. Hence you're always acting like "you"

What you keep ranting about is more about people changing who they are instead of "filtering"

 

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

Personally, I tend to live one life. My friends know me as one person, and my family as the same person, and strangers as the same person as well. I will be damned if I will change just to fit in or just so that YOU (whoever) will like me, or even to further myself. If you don't like me, so be it.

I believe in telling it like it is, no euphemism, and no fannying about. People are divided into two broad categories: Pretentious, and the rest. The rest gets my attention, pretentiousness can go f*** itself.

^This.

The only times I "shape-shift" are when I'm in either polite company (I'm a fairly vulgar person, after all), or when I'm attempting to be diplomatic.

 

[AndyVale]

It really depends. Most of us have many different sides to match many moods. For example I don't act the same at a job interview as I would with my mates while playing Goldeneye and eating pizza. There's nothing wrong with that otherwise I'd talk about tits with everyone (and remain unemployed for life.)

I think it boils down to whether it's genuinely not you. For example, if I've just met a new social group where computer games, Iron Maiden and Salad Fingers aren't the order of the day then I won't rub my love of such topics in their face nor will I judge them for not liking them. But then I wouldn't then disown such joys of mine in order to fit in with a social group. When people do that it's usually pretty obvious and then they're wankers.

But then your also as much of a tosser and a bore if you refuse to try fit in a bit with people who aren't your type. You know, the one who likes WOW, Black Metal and being dark & mysterious who then turns up at uni and finds themselves in halls with people who are blonde, giggle and enjoy dressing up. They then spend the next 9 months refusing to be remotely civil with them because they disapprove of their generally happy nature. I'm not saying you should cancel your WOW account and start liking Girls Aloud, but making some effort to get along is enough. It goes the other way too of course, but I imagine there are fewer giggly blonde girls here.

Hey to any giggly blonde girls though.

 

[Ignignoct]

I was accused of being a social shapeshifter by a person that I know and that got me thinking. Why is that considered so bad by some people? To act as though you are one person ,yet be another? It is human nature to be accepted, yet when one person tries to integrate themselves they are accused of being a fake. This is rather strange to me. For we are all like this, even if we don't realize it. How often do we (as people) say or do things for fear of repercussion? The answer is all of the time! Like that friend that we know made a bad decision yet we hold our tongues from speaking what we truly think for we fear losing that friend. At times it may not be right or even true to you as a person, but it is still done. I ask you my fellow Escapists to you is this wrong? Is it dishonest? Or is it merely a way to survive among ourselves?

You mean some say it's wrong to happily don the mask of sanity in order to peacefully process and refine one's own plan for cruel, unforgiving vengeance on an unsuspecting world?

Flexible morals allow for one to adapt and excel in new and dynamic environments.

I think I heard somewhere that several successful CEOs are such due to a sociopathic dedication to greatness.

Oh, and example from my life, my natural defense mechanism for my ego is that no one really sees who I am, but just the various masks. If they don't like the act, then it's no lube off my dick because I was selling a false personality regardless. This is for first-time meet-n-greets. I've got a scant few friends/family that really know me.

Honesty is fun, but dangerous.

 

[Marbas]

Of course, it's an important survival skill. All that "be yourself" garbage is just that, garbage. You can't have your hair down all the time. Especially in formal situations. Sometimes, you're a much better person for not "being yourself" all the time. I know a person who is "them self" all the time and they are universally loathed by almost everyone they meet. They argue every little point incessantly, are combative, rude, and they smell like a dead cow. They offend and irritate almost everyone they meet. So no, "being yourself" all the time is neither necessary, nor warranted.

I mean really, taking this idea to its' logical conclusion, there are some parts of you that are private and should stay that way. You don't want to go and trumpet your sexuality from a rooftop for example.

 

[Afterburn]

I've been through a phase where I struggled with my own identity, I hated it because I acted totally different around tons of other people. It's not morally wrong, but socially unacceptable as a generalization. It's survival, I can be a jerk to someone who I don't like but be as polite as possible when I'm meeting a new person, there's nothing wrong with that.