Poll: Is it wrong to be a social shapeshifter?
- Thread starter Grimm91
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Short response: no, it's not wrong.
Long response: No, it's not wrong. Expressing one's self is all well and good, but there is no sane reason to not do at least a little code-switching in social situations unless you're literally always around the same sort of people.
The moral of "Be Yourself" always struck me as sort of misplaced. In American and other individualistic cultures, it's always interpreted in a very broad way that really comes across as preaching to the choir (and in more collectivistic cultures, it's counterproductive). The real moral of "be yourself" is more along the lines of "don't be an obsequious boot-licker and/or succumb easily to peer pressure." Those sorts of acts are contemptible at best, self-destructive at worst.
But, just like in many cases, the overtones of a word or phrase don't usually keep up with its broadening meaning, so "social shapeshifting" seems to keep a connotation of "self denial" to, I would presume, most of the people who answered "yes" to this poll. It's really nothing of the sort.
Long response: No, it's not wrong. Expressing one's self is all well and good, but there is no sane reason to not do at least a little code-switching in social situations unless you're literally always around the same sort of people.
The moral of "Be Yourself" always struck me as sort of misplaced. In American and other individualistic cultures, it's always interpreted in a very broad way that really comes across as preaching to the choir (and in more collectivistic cultures, it's counterproductive). The real moral of "be yourself" is more along the lines of "don't be an obsequious boot-licker and/or succumb easily to peer pressure." Those sorts of acts are contemptible at best, self-destructive at worst.
But, just like in many cases, the overtones of a word or phrase don't usually keep up with its broadening meaning, so "social shapeshifting" seems to keep a connotation of "self denial" to, I would presume, most of the people who answered "yes" to this poll. It's really nothing of the sort.
Nope. There's nothing wrong with, say, 'altering' parts of your personality in the pursuit of personal amusement. For gainging acceptance it is quite sad, however if you just like to keep people guessing there's not really a problem. It only becomes a problem when someone wants to get to know 'the real you' and other such horrible cliches. I have frustrated a few girls with that one.
Well I only have one real friend. I don't go around like some ***** that lies to everyone and tells different things about herself to feel accepted ,but, I do change my mannerisms and my ways of speaking. I alter my self just enough to avoid confrontation and I will not voice my real opinion. Is that spineless or just being tactful?jeretik said:
Personality is just a set of repeated actions noted by those around us. People inherently change who they are on a daily basis depending on who they are dealing with. There is nothing particularly wrong with this, in fact it seems healthy to as it allows us to explore facets of life and have experiences which might otherwise not be open to us.
I try to make as many people as happy as possible, as you may or may not know
Is doing so, I do manipulate my personality to please others, but around good friends they know its me their talking to.
Its known as Social-Chameleonism, or at least what I know it as.
Is doing so, I do manipulate my personality to please others, but around good friends they know its me their talking to.
Its known as Social-Chameleonism, or at least what I know it as.
And particulary this isn't real. Be yourself. Once I heard the saying:"The one, who has no own oppinion will be liked by everyone, but never by himself". And it's fucking true. I hate peeople who act as if they like you, but talk shit about you when you'Re not around. It's really spineless. That's why I have one BEST friend and like 1-3 regular friends and NO FUCKING MORE. The rest of the ppl I know are just buddies. And if I don't like someone, I let him know about it.
It is human to change at least slightly with each social group that we interact with, however it is wrong, and against the very essence of you to change completely with each group. If they don't like who you are normally, then why are you with them.
So, from what I've read in your post, it is wrong, but that is your own downfall.
With the different groups that I interact with, I know I change slightly, but it is not a complete change, more like changing gears than changing cars, y'know.
[For instance talking to my normal friends about what I talk to my fellow uni mates about(from my paper obviously), would be stupid.]
So, from what I've read in your post, it is wrong, but that is your own downfall.
With the different groups that I interact with, I know I change slightly, but it is not a complete change, more like changing gears than changing cars, y'know.
[For instance talking to my normal friends about what I talk to my fellow uni mates about(from my paper obviously), would be stupid.]
I'd say it depends on how much you change. If you act like a completely different person around different people, especially if it involves badmouthing people you wouldn't normally just to be seen as cool, then that is wrong.
But trying to make an effort for people to like you, if you want them to like you, is no problem; everyone acts differently around people, and are likely to carefully choose what they say so as not to offend the person, or to stop themselves from looking 'uncool'.
But trying to make an effort for people to like you, if you want them to like you, is no problem; everyone acts differently around people, and are likely to carefully choose what they say so as not to offend the person, or to stop themselves from looking 'uncool'.
Ditch your shallow, conformist herd mentality. You are who you are, and have confidence in that. If other people hate you for it (and chances are they will hate you for it) then that is the price you must pay in order to maintain your integrity as an individual. The only time "shapeshifting" is acceptable is when you are using it solely for profit; aesthetic magic can be incredibly useful for personal gain in the hands of a master.