Poll: Is love ++ or +-?
- Thread starter Merteg
- Start date
Recommended Videos
"Opposites attract" definitely doesn't work for me. I'd have to get a seriously stupid girl.
(Subtle, wasn't it?)
Seriously though, I'm edgy to say ++. You don't need folks to be completely similar, obviously, but they need to be on the same level for a lasting relationship.
(Subtle, wasn't it?)
Seriously though, I'm edgy to say ++. You don't need folks to be completely similar, obviously, but they need to be on the same level for a lasting relationship.
Voted opposites because "common interests" really aren't what keeps a relationship together.
Sure, common interests are where things start - where things tee off, but do you really think everything will fall into place perfectly, or you can suddenly hide and ignore the part of yourself that's different than the person you love?
Or that you need to find someone just like you in order to enjoy being around them?
I think that there's a deeper connection, a deeper need for each other, a stronger desire for the other person, where perhaps some work is usually involved, but...Did you ever "love" someone, and I mean truly love someone because they also played Guitar with you?
I get the feeling the person themselves, their demeanor, their personality, the way they smile at you, that kind of shit is what really got you going rather than the fact that you got to do something you enjoy with them. Because there's a lot of people that do a lot of things together who aren't romantically involved, and people don't really need to be the same to enjoy similar things.
Of course it helps, more than being opposites, but you know, if you're both open minded, being with an opposite person can really expose you to some interesting experiences that you wouldn't have even ever considered doing before.
Sure, common interests are where things start - where things tee off, but do you really think everything will fall into place perfectly, or you can suddenly hide and ignore the part of yourself that's different than the person you love?
Or that you need to find someone just like you in order to enjoy being around them?
I think that there's a deeper connection, a deeper need for each other, a stronger desire for the other person, where perhaps some work is usually involved, but...Did you ever "love" someone, and I mean truly love someone because they also played Guitar with you?
I get the feeling the person themselves, their demeanor, their personality, the way they smile at you, that kind of shit is what really got you going rather than the fact that you got to do something you enjoy with them. Because there's a lot of people that do a lot of things together who aren't romantically involved, and people don't really need to be the same to enjoy similar things.
Of course it helps, more than being opposites, but you know, if you're both open minded, being with an opposite person can really expose you to some interesting experiences that you wouldn't have even ever considered doing before.
if a couple is +- well... i dont think it would work because that means the differences are absolut, wich they would not enjoy being with each other, in simmilar case a ++ couple would be good because they enjoy the same things and would be able to coop out with each others perks and strangenes (having them themselves)
If they are similar, you get more to talk about that you have in common, with opposite people, your more focused on getting why people like different things, and trying to do things they enjoy with them. If your the same it's the same old crap. I went out with a girl once who loved video games, I was so happy that one existed and wasn't a douche. So it was going good, but soon it just gets boring, cause it's the same old conversations, like who shot first, Han or Greedo, did Superman actually die, how was the joker created. Like we wnet to a comic convention and stuff. After around a month and a half it just sorta died, same old stuff.
Later I found a different girl who was my total opposite, didn't think I'd really like her then you get to know them. Lasted longer, I think I enjoyed being with her more. I learned a bunch of new stuff from her and got into a few different things. I dunno, I think it just comes down to who you actually meet. If you can get a mix, then it's probably better.
Later I found a different girl who was my total opposite, didn't think I'd really like her then you get to know them. Lasted longer, I think I enjoyed being with her more. I learned a bunch of new stuff from her and got into a few different things. I dunno, I think it just comes down to who you actually meet. If you can get a mix, then it's probably better.
You are oversimplifying your question, if you want a correct answer you need to ask it differently. "Similar interests" and "opposite personalities" are actually two different things. They are not mutually exclusive.Merteg said:
In terms of common interests you need to be similar, or you will lack things to talk about that interest you both. If one likes sport and hates music, the other likes music and hates sport, not a lot of conversation is going to be happeneing there and therefore little chance to forge a solid emotional connection.
In terms of personality types it helps if you are opposites, because otherwise conversations don't work. Two shy people struggle to get a conversation going and perceive the other person as aloof and uninterested. They both resent having to be the one to break the ice. Two loud talky outgoing types talk over the top of each other and piss each other off hugely, they perceive each other as arrogant, they wish the other would shut his/her mouth so they could get a word in, and get annoyed at the other one trying to take charge of situations all the time.
People can have completely different interests and personalities.
It is thier fundamental core morals and social standards that must be similar in order for a relationship to function without too much conflict.
For example, how they both feel about cheating, what constitutes cheating, how they feel about sex, eachother's own time and space etc etc
It is thier fundamental core morals and social standards that must be similar in order for a relationship to function without too much conflict.
For example, how they both feel about cheating, what constitutes cheating, how they feel about sex, eachother's own time and space etc etc
Opposites attract. I've been with the same guy for a year and a half. He is a good little mormon boy and I am "his families worst nightmare" his quote not mine. but nonetheless you can classify me as a "bad girl". and we're perfectly happy and in love. people that are similar to me i can't deal with we fight too much and i push them away. don't get me wrong my love is somewhat similar, we're both geeks and gamers but.....we have our obvious differences.
No in all honesty, I've been involved with a few ladies in my time in the market, and I've found there is genuinely no difference between the ++ or +- theory. In some cases, I had good chemistry with both sides of the spectrum. I was engaged to a woman who was ++ and am currently with a woman (for 6.5 years) who is my opposite. The +- thing is messed up, especially if people actually believe it makes sense.
Look into yourself. If the chemistry is there, if the desire is there, and if the love is there (eventually) it will work.
Note: the chemistry, desire and love have to be with both people. You can scream till you're blue in the face, or never fight a day. I fought more with the ++ than the +-, if that makes any sense
Look into yourself. If the chemistry is there, if the desire is there, and if the love is there (eventually) it will work.
Note: the chemistry, desire and love have to be with both people. You can scream till you're blue in the face, or never fight a day. I fought more with the ++ than the +-, if that makes any sense
Research shows that we are more attracted to people who are similar to us. Sorry to kill the vibe with science.
I've had wonderful experiences with both sides actually.. my spouse is........well.. an opposite in some ways, but near identical to me in others
