Poll: Is treating women in Gentlemanly way Sexist?

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BOOM headshot65

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So, afew people on here have called me sexist. What for? For suggesting that men treat women in a gentlemanly manner. Now, I can see that too a certain extent, like the whole "The world is unsafe for women, So I will keep you away from the world" style of gentleman-re IS sexist. However, what I was refering too was holding the door open for a women, pulling out her chair for her, offering her your jacket if it is cold, things like that. THAT is what I fail to see as being sexist.

So escapist, does the fact I want to be a gentleman make me sexist?
 

Erana

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No, as long as you accept, and possibly expect chivalry from women in kind. I think both sexes can benefit from adopting some of the traditionally accepted mannerisms expected of the other sex.

I'd graciously accept someone's coat if they were better prepared to handle the cold than I, but I'd be pretty pissed if, in an inverted scenario, someone refuse my offer specifically on the grounds that I am a woman. (My jacket is awesome, how could anyone refuse?!)

I don't really mind if these situations being handled with a different sort of decorum based on sex, (A favor for another man being a favor for a bro, a kind act to a woman being an act of chivalry towards a lady) as long as the intentions are genuine. Sometimes its just nice to play knight in shining armor.
 

Farseer Lolotea

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Not unless you have a sense of entitlement (beyond maybe getting a "thank you," that is) about it.

That said, I'd argue that she should say "thank you" if you do that.

<-- as likely as not to be the one holding the door.
 

Don Savik

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If class has become sexist, then I am becoming a misanthrope.

People need to lighten the hell up and enjoy life.
 
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Farseer Lolotea said:
Not unless you have a sense of entitlement (beyond maybe getting a "thank you," that is) about it.

That said, I'd argue that she should say "thank you" if you do that.
Sir, I say no to that!

One should act gentlemanly for the sake of being gentlemanly.

Otherwise we'd be no different from the gutter trash.

*sips tea*

Quite.
 

thylasos

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It's not sexist if you do it for men too. And if you're doing it for people regardless of gender, then you can call it gentlemanly, but it's essentially just politeness.

Hoorah for being polite!
 

Erttheking

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Mortai Gravesend said:
erttheking said:
I don't see how being polite is sexist
You don't see how a specific standard of politeness for women that differs from that for men is sexist?
So you're saying that I can't be a gentleman for the sake of being a gentleman? Does it count if I only do it to someone that I am in a relationship with or am trying to enter into a relationship with?
 

Don Savik

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Mortai Gravesend said:
Don Savik said:
If class has become sexist, then I am becoming a misanthrope.

People need to lighten the hell up and enjoy life.
Well people could just not be sexist, but apparently it's easier to defend it with cop outs than change.
Because I can't be nice to one gender without hating the other apparently.

*rolls eyes*
 

thylasos

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erttheking said:
Mortai Gravesend said:
erttheking said:
I don't see how being polite is sexist
You don't see how a specific standard of politeness for women that differs from that for men is sexist?
So you're saying that I can't be a gentleman for the sake of being a gentleman? Does it count if I only do it to someone that I am in a relationship with or am trying to enter into a relationship with?
Your question was about sexism. You're entitled to be extra nice to people you're close to, which wouldn't be considered sexism, but if you're being specifically more polite to women in general than to men, then that's sexist. Because if you read back that sentence, it explicitly implies gender bias.

:p
 

Erttheking

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thylasos said:
erttheking said:
Mortai Gravesend said:
erttheking said:
I don't see how being polite is sexist
You don't see how a specific standard of politeness for women that differs from that for men is sexist?
So you're saying that I can't be a gentleman for the sake of being a gentleman? Does it count if I only do it to someone that I am in a relationship with or am trying to enter into a relationship with?
Your question was about sexism. You're entitled to be extra nice to people you're close to, which wouldn't be considered sexism, but if you're being specifically more polite to women in general than to men, then that's sexist. Because if you read back that sentence, it explicitly implies gender bias.

:p
No I don't give special attention to women, although let's be honest and admit that none of us treat the different genders the exact same way, there's a certain amount of roughhousing that guys take part in that most women don't want a part of.
 

Don Savik

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Mortai Gravesend said:
Don Savik said:
Mortai Gravesend said:
Don Savik said:
If class has become sexist, then I am becoming a misanthrope.

People need to lighten the hell up and enjoy life.
Well people could just not be sexist, but apparently it's easier to defend it with cop outs than change.
Because I can't be nice to one gender without hating the other apparently.

*rolls eyes*
How very odd. I didn't say anything about hating.

But it's really really basic. You treat one gender differently than another. That's discrimination. Discrimination based on gender is...? Starts with an S if that helps.
Treating men differently, but not worse, is wrong to you apparently? I can treat people like gender neutral mannequins if that makes you sleep better at night.
 

Erttheking

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Mortai Gravesend said:
erttheking said:
Mortai Gravesend said:
erttheking said:
I don't see how being polite is sexist
You don't see how a specific standard of politeness for women that differs from that for men is sexist?
So you're saying that I can't be a gentleman for the sake of being a gentleman? Does it count if I only do it to someone that I am in a relationship with or am trying to enter into a relationship with?
I didn't say you couldn't do anything. I just pointed out what would be sexist. Your move from there.

I'd say treating your girlfriend differently than other people probably doesn't count. Treating someone differently to get in a relationship with them doesn't seem like it would be the same either. At that point it isn't based on their gender, now is it?
No it isn't, although let's be honest, we don't treat women the exact way the we treat other guys, we tend to be more rough with guys than we do with women, I'm not going to start bowing and kissing their hands but I'm not exactly going to start swearing like I would when I'm talking to one of my guy pals.
 

thylasos

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erttheking said:
thylasos said:
erttheking said:
Mortai Gravesend said:
erttheking said:
I don't see how being polite is sexist
You don't see how a specific standard of politeness for women that differs from that for men is sexist?
So you're saying that I can't be a gentleman for the sake of being a gentleman? Does it count if I only do it to someone that I am in a relationship with or am trying to enter into a relationship with?
Your question was about sexism. You're entitled to be extra nice to people you're close to, which wouldn't be considered sexism, but if you're being specifically more polite to women in general than to men, then that's sexist. Because if you read back that sentence, it explicitly implies gender bias.

:p
No I don't give special attention to women, although let's be honest and admit that none of us treat the different genders the exact same way, there's a certain amount of roughhousing that guys take part in that most women don't want a part of.
Certainly, chap. I mean, we're not unswerving moral arbiters of equality; I'm just saying, according to the definition of the word, gentlemanliness is an inherently sexist construct. :p