Poll: Is treating women in Gentlemanly way Sexist?

[applesandoranges]

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[Esotera]

If it's only for girls, and it's a conscious effort, then yes, that's sexist. It's not an absolutely terrible form of sexism, so I wouldn't worry about it too much, and some girls still like chivalrous treatment, so yeah. Wouldn't it be better to treat everyone as an equal though?

 

[Erttheking]

I don't see how being polite is sexist

You don't see how a specific standard of politeness for women that differs from that for men is sexist?

So you're saying that I can't be a gentleman for the sake of being a gentleman? Does it count if I only do it to someone that I am in a relationship with or am trying to enter into a relationship with?

I didn't say you couldn't do anything. I just pointed out what would be sexist. Your move from there.

I'd say treating your girlfriend differently than other people probably doesn't count. Treating someone differently to get in a relationship with them doesn't seem like it would be the same either. At that point it isn't based on their gender, now is it?

No it isn't, although let's be honest, we don't treat women the exact way the we treat other guys, we tend to be more rough with guys than we do with women, I'm not going to start bowing and kissing their hands but I'm not exactly going to start swearing like I would when I'm talking to one of my guy pals.

Personally I'd rather decide if I'm going to swear and whatnot based on the person in question and what I know about them personally, not their gender. Guys can have a distaste for swearing, girls can be cool with it.

Not the guys and girls that I hang around with. I can really only think of one girl that I know that really swears, and she leans a little towards goth territory.

 

[Revnak_v1legacy]

I think that this argument is extremely silly. If a woman calls you put on holding a door open for her than use that for a jumping off point about all the real sexism she in all likelihood experiences. If she just gets annoyed and storms off in a huff, she probably shouldn't be throwing a fit over you holding a door open for her.

 

[Don Savik]

If class has become sexist, then I am becoming a misanthrope.

People need to lighten the hell up and enjoy life.

Well people could just not be sexist, but apparently it's easier to defend it with cop outs than change.

Because I can't be nice to one gender without hating the other apparently.

*rolls eyes*

How very odd. I didn't say anything about hating.

But it's really really basic. You treat one gender differently than another. That's discrimination. Discrimination based on gender is...? Starts with an S if that helps.

Treating men differently, but not worse, is wrong to you apparently? I can treat people like gender neutral mannequins if that makes you sleep better at night.

Better and worse are empty words in regards to this.

Discrimination is based on it being different. I didn't say it was right or wrong. But hey, if you thinks sexism is right you could at least admit it. You're for treating people differently based on their gender. That's sexist. If you feel so strongly don't run away from admitting what you support.

Makes me feel better at night? Huh. I didn't say any such thing. I wonder why people like you make those kinds of diversions. It was about whether it was sexist or not, not about me. Is there some reason you're evading the issue with that crap about me?

Good god man, are you an android? Not all sexism is bad. Some sexism is. I am not "for sexism". I am not evading anything. I treat people differently depending on the situation, sometimes gender (like all human beings). Yet I am trying to understand why you think this is a bad idea for some reason.

 

[Captain Booyah]

I threw my vote in for 'not sexist', and I'm a wimmenz. If a guy opens a door for me, I assume he's doing that because he's a polite guy who would have done the same for anybody, male or female. Both sexes should be held up to that standard.

If some men only do this for women -- thus falling under what we've defined in this topic as sexism -- then in my experience, they only really do so because it's the "done thing" rather than because they view women as weak or need help, or some other patronising attitude. But that's just in my experience of talking to a few guys about it, anyway. To be perfectly honest, there are much, much worse ways for misogyny to manifest itself, and I think we should deal with those issues first before we start yelling at the poor sod who has the nerve to hold a door open for us.

 

[Thaluikhain]

If you do it only for women then it's hard to avoid sexism, really.

Also, you didn't really define "gentlemanly"...the word can carry quite some baggage.

 

[Revnak_v1legacy]

I think that this argument is extremely silly. If a woman calls you put on holding a door open for her than use that for a jumping off point about all the real sexism she in all likelihood experiences. If she just gets annoyed and storms off in a huff, she probably shouldn't be throwing a fit over you holding a door open for her.

That's evading the issue really. Since when was this about someone theoretical woman getting upset?

I was addressing the situation I thought the OP was in that provoked this thread. If you must force me, I'd change the post to be about a woman accusing him of sexism for suggesting that men should behave in a gentlemanly manner. There is a difference between sexism and SEXISM. One is not necessarily wrong or illogical (don't kick a man in the testicles, don't push a woman at the chest), the other is wrong. The sexes are different, just not different enough to justify SEXISM.

 

[BrassButtons]

I think that this argument is extremely silly. If a woman calls you put on holding a door open for her than use that for a jumping off point about all the real sexism she in all likelihood experiences. If she just gets annoyed and storms off in a huff, she probably shouldn't be throwing a fit over you holding a door open for her.

I'm one of the people who called him a sexist, not because he holds the door open for people, but because he specifically goes out of his way to treat women differently than men. Which is pretty obvious sexism.

 

[Vault101]

So, afew people on here have called me sexist. What for? For suggesting that men treat women in a gentlemanly manner. Now, I can see that too a certain extent, like the whole "The world is unsafe for women, So I will keep you away from the world" style of gentleman-re IS sexist. However, what I was refering too was holding the door open for a women, pulling out her chair for her, offering her your jacket if it is cold, things like that. THAT is what I fail to see as being sexist.

So escapist, does the fact I want to be a gentleman make me sexist?

it does not make you "sexist" I guess, but you are treating people differently based on gender

I do not expect any man to do those things for me...I dont see why I would,

 

[game-lover]

No. I certainly don't think so. Besides being gentlemanly, I just believe it's nice.

Of course, if it's only for women, then there's a little bit of sexism there. Can't be avoided.

That being said, I probably wouldn't call it a bad thing necessarily however.

 

[BrassButtons]

it does not make you "sexist" I guess, but you are treating people differently based on gender

Isn't that what "sexism" is?

 

[DustyDrB]

Nope.

Because I act like a gentleman towards everyone.


I'm classy like that.

Yeah. If anyone has a problem with my awesome treatment towards them then...