Jedi vs AA-12 automatic shotgun.
Result: AA-12 needs a new magazine, jedi needs a new torso, circulatory system and blood.
Jedi vs microsoft.
Result: jedi is left defenceless after killing thousands of microsoft employees who eventually cause his lightsaber to have a BSOD. After realising this, he attempts to defend himself with the force, but starves to death after microsoft employees brick up the building he was in with obsolete Xbox consoles.
Jedi vs US navy test railgun.
Result: This [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1q_rRicAwI] video is explanation enough.
Jedi vs every Gmod player on earth (NOTE: this takes place inside Gmod).
Result: Jedi spawns in GM_construct. he is immediately mingecaged (gmod in-game term. to be mingecaged means to be trapped inside a simple, indestructible cage).
Jedi vs bloodsucker.
Result: Jedi does not realise he is being attacked until he hears the sound of the bloodsucker's breathing. Thinking that he can defeat it, he draws his lightsaber, and prepares for combat. seconds later, he is sprinting away and wishing that he had checked behind him.
Jedi vs himself.
Result: either way, he dies.
Jedi vs huge vat of thermite.
Result: the jedi, having been told to attack this huge vat of thermite, promptly slashes it with his lightsaber. he is incinerated seconds later, after his lightsaber ignites the thermite and melts the vat walls.
