Poll: Men and women being freinds

[thesilentman]

You know, the definition of friend doesn't specify the gender? That'll be my take on the issue. It doesn't matter at all unless you have some issue with it. I've had female friends and they were just that: friends. I fail to see why this is an issue, someone enlighten me.

 

[Vault101]

Why don't we ask the public?
Seems like a pretty tight case.

Ive seen those vidoes

not sure I'd call it rock solid proof

 

[Vault101]

Does it? It doesn't sound that way to me. Some beardy twat in the university library fooling dumb undergrads with misleading questions doesn't really make the case.

not to mention he could have edited it to skew the results (more men saying no, women saying yes) for...I dont know...reasons

 

[Call Me Jose]

If people aren't attracted to each other yep, they can be friends I don't see it not happening, I have plenty of female friends with no lustful feelings towards.

 

[DevilWithaHalo]

Some beardy twat in the university library fooling dumb undergrads with misleading questions doesn't really make the case.

Indeed, he truly mislead them with questions like; "do you believe men and women can be just friends?" and; "do you think he likes you?" He surely manipulated these foolish undergrads into admitting their friendships may be based on not purely platonic reasons with his trick questions and sneaky underhanded tactics! And of course...

not to mention he could have edited it to skew the results (more men saying no, women saying yes) for...I dont know...reasons

...intentionally misrepresented his findings for nefarious purposes! We must explore all possibilities, for there's no possibly way this is an accurate respresentation of what the general population feels...

...I decided to spare you a brief list of supporting research and simply suggest that perhaps the existance of this thread and those like it (of which there are many) is probably evidence that there is a certain level of confusion regarding friendships with the opposite sex and our social and individual perceptions to the concept.

 

[WWmelb]

http://www.cracked.com/article_20225_6-ways-your-brain-sabotaging-your-sex-life.html

so one old issue that comes up is "men and women can't be freinds because sex" as explained in #1 on cracks article

call me niave but I figure even if there is some attraction it doesnt have to mean they can;t be friends....unless half the time its one big "freindzone" thing going on (what the hell IS the freindzone anyway?)

so I have a few questions

1. is there anyone slightly older (marrie deven) who still had freinds (and only freinds) of the oposite gender?

2. do you have freind fo the oposite gender and how do you feel?

I can't actually answer with any of those poll answers Vault.

30 year old guy, straight, have had and do have many female friends. Over the years there have been some that i develop a sexual attraction or more than platonic mental attachment to, and some that i haven't.

As with all women i meet really.

So i don't think any of the poll answers accurately represent me i'm afraid. But yes, it is most definitely possible to maintain a close friendship with a member of the opposite sex / sex you are usually attracted to. My ex-fiancee didn't understand, or believe that, and is the #1 reason (of many mind you) that she never became my wife.

 

[Vault101]

[snip.

my point is I hardly find one video where a guy runs around a campus asking questions "proof" and I'm not saying the guy who made the video DID skew things to a certain veiwpoint, I'm saying he very easyly could have...if somthing is to be taken as reliable proof then such variables should be considerd

studies or not I find the very Idea that men and women cant be freinds at all...baffling really

[quote/]perhaps the existance of this thread and those like it (of which there are many) is probably evidence that there is a certain level of confusion regarding friendships with the opposite sex and our social and individual perceptions to the concept[/quote]
what the hell does that even mean? if we are freinds with the oposite gender its actually....not true? or somthing?

 

[Vault101]

I feel like the best way to be good and honest friends with the opposite gender is to engage in sexual activities with them. It sweeps sex off the table and allows for honest friendships. It releases the sexual tension any of you are feeling.
.

...uhhh...WHAT? Ijust.....what??!

yeah..that is pretty skewed, can't speak from expereince but sex seems to complicate things more..you know the old thing where they say a "casual" relationship is hard...but then who knows

[quote/]And the friendzone is when a woman keeps a guy as a friend, giving him the hope of a prospective relationship, but keeping him around just for the attention.[/quote]
mabye some women do that but....nah I still dont get it

unless she's said "mabye....I dont want to rush things" <-or somthing to that then honestly she's just freinds with the guy, and mabye its all in his head?

 

[Vault101]

Okay, let me just tell you this:

Men and women CAN be friends, but often one of them will feel an attraction.

If one of them feels an attraction, you CAN stay friends, but that's just shameful. Don't do that if you want to maintain a feeling of selfworth, granted you know the other person isn't into you.

but then to what extent?

"an attraction" can just mean "yeah...I'd do that" and not nessicaryly "I wuf you 4 eva and eva and want to marry and live in castle protected by magical unicorns"

 

[BreakfastMan]

That was a pretty BS interpretation of that scientific paper. Just had to get that out of the way...

Anyway, yes, men and women can be friends. I don't see how they can't. To suggest otherwise is pretty damn insulting. :\

 

[geK0]

Why don't we ask the public?

<youtube=T_lh5fR4DMA> <youtube=FYQmqxQgEBY>

Seems like a pretty tight case.

>Implying that a bunch of college age people in Utah are representative of the entire human population (sample size of 10 or so people of the same age group in the same geographical area = fantastic sampling)
>Implying that there are no exceptions to this rule
>Implying that any amount of sexual interest invalidates friendship

I've been friends with quite a few women that I've found VERY unattractive, still cool people to hang out with though

I've also been friends with quite a few women who I really wouldn't mind sleeping with..... they're still friends though (even if I did actually end up sleeping with a few of them : \)

 

[Dense_Electric]

I'll fully admit that I'm sexually attracted to most of my female friends, and I wouldn't hesitate to go there if that's how things unfolded. However, I generally wouldn't try to push things in that direction myself without them making the first move, and that doesn't mean I don't also value them as just friends (in fact, a few of them in particular are some of the closest friends I've ever had). Bottom line, sexual attraction to someone doesn't mean you can't value someone for reasons other than their body, and it doesn't mean you can't also just be friends with that person.

 

[Starik20X6]

I'm a guy who has more girl-friends than guy-friends. I consider all the friendships I have to be satisfactory and worthwhile.

I will confess however, that over the course off every single one of these friendships I have been sexually attracted to the girl on at least one occasion. This doesn't mean I agree that as a heterosexual male any attempt at an innocent friendship with a member of the opposite sex is doomed to failure for me, however neither can I deny that The Power of Hormones is at times much stronger than The Power of Friendship.

Who are you, and how did you get into my brain?

Yeah, I find plenty of my female friends attractive, though I'd never act on it- I respect them too much.