Poll: Men and women being freinds

[Vault101]

http://www.cracked.com/article_20225_6-ways-your-brain-sabotaging-your-sex-life.html

so one old issue that comes up is "men and women can't be freinds because sex" as explained in #1 on cracks article

call me niave but I figure even if there is some attraction it doesnt have to mean they can;t be friends....unless half the time its one big "freindzone" thing going on (what the hell IS the freindzone anyway?)

so I have a few questions

1. is there anyone slightly older (marrie deven) who still had freinds (and only freinds) of the oposite gender?

2. do you have freind fo the oposite gender and how do you feel?

 

[Stasisesque]

I'm pushing 30 and am in a long term committed relationship (I want to get married, he doesn't, but I love him so I'll suck it up that old chestnut)and the vast majority of my friends are male. That would be the opposite gender. I have zero sexual attraction to any of them. I would imagine they'd be pretty relieved to hear so.

My boyfriend, well, we started out as bestest friends foreverest, but honestly, the sexual attraction was always there. He knew it, I knew it, everyone else knew it. We were both shit-scared to turn it in to anything real, because relationships are hard, we were young (we're still young, but we were young then too) and stupid (ditto) and honestly the friends thing was working fine. Until it wasn't, and now we're in love.

But I do not feel even the slightest twinge of lust for any of my male friends, or female friends for that matter. I doubt it's anything to do with being in a relationship either, because I still find random men attractive. There just isn't anything romantic or sexual between me and my friends.

 

[shrekfan246]

Well, when I was in high school I made friends with both genders rather easily. I'd imagine I actually had slightly more friends who were girls than I did guys.

Did I ever think about them in sexual manners? Sure. But it never impacted my friendships. In fact, I missed out on starting a relationship with one girl because I decided to not make any moves, even though it was obvious that she felt the same way that I did.

Nowadays there's only really one person that I hang out with locally, everyone else I interact with is generally over the internet, so. I'm perfectly happy to make friends with anybody who wants it.

 

[PsychicTaco115]

I have some female friends and it depends on stuffs

Like, some I might think of wanting to be all relation-shippy with, others not so much

It depends on the person, not the gender

 

[lechat]

i done sexual stuff with all my female "friends"

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

I'm a guy who has more girl-friends than guy-friends. I consider all the friendships I have to be satisfactory and worthwhile.

I will confess however, that over the course off every single one of these friendships I have been sexually attracted to the girl on at least one occasion. This doesn't mean I agree that as a heterosexual male any attempt at an innocent friendship with a member of the opposite sex is doomed to failure for me, however neither can I deny that The Power of Hormones is at times much stronger than The Power of Friendship.

 

[Rawne1980]

1. is there anyone slightly older (marrie deven) who still had freinds (and only freinds) of the oposite gender?

I'm slightly "older" and I am married.

I do have friends of the opposite gender and no attraction whatsoever. I've known some of them for many years and have had plenty of opportunity to go further but they are my friends, I just don't go there.

 

[Basement Cat]

snip

Off topic: We love you Vault101. We'd love you even more if you used Spell Check.

NO! Don't hurt me!! NOT IN THE FACE!!!

*WHACK*

...s-sorry...

*spits out broken tooth*

...okay...back to the Topic...



I'm an older straight guy--I won't say how old--and yes, of course I've had plenty of female friends over the years. I've often been attracted to some of them. Most of them I wasn't attracted to, even if they were cute. Shocking, I know, but there it is.

Only once did I ever get involved (i.e. have sex) with one. That was back in college. It was a one timer. We went on being friends for years after. Grew apart; no drama.

I have also been in friendships with women who were interested in 'playing around' in general but they were always co-workers and I know better than to EVER get involved with a co-worker. That's something that falls into the category of being "A BAD IDEA".

Right now the only female friends I have are ones I work together with. I used a fake "sorta" relationship to put up a barrier between myself and two of them so as to keep them at a distance. One was no problem, but the other has acted...strangely. I think she was expecting me to make moves on her and finding out that I was "interested" in another girl (albeit fictional--but she DOESN'T need to know that) has left a 'cool air' zone between us. She'll get over it.

But her reaction is why I DON'T date where I work.

Neither should you. Trust me, unless the two of you get married the odds are good that it will come around to a bad ending for you both.

 

[DoPo]

2. do you have freind fo the oposite gender and how do you feel?

Aww, Vault, I thought we were friends and you want to throw all that away because of sex?

OT: Yeah, I've got friends and acquaintances of the opposite sex. Aside from Vault101 there, even. The (no) sex hasn't gotten in our way so far.

 

[Vault101]

Yeah, that Cracked article is pretty bad, but their scientific article they try to use to justify their claims is rubbish. Or more likely, is being used for a rubbish interpretation that the article, when read properly, probably doesn't support at all.

the guy who wrote it does tend to take liberty with facts and overly PC bullshit (he once wrote an awful article about games which was so wrong it was downright insulting) so I do take what he says with a grain of salt

Neither should you. Trust me, unless the two of you get married the odds are good that it will come around to a bad ending for you both.

but...but the guy who sits a few desks away is into comicbooks! I mean yeah he's with somone I think but that doesnt mean I cant follow him home and-

hmm yeah you may be right

Aww, Vault, I thought we were friends and you want to throw all that away because of sex?

no...because of science *sniff*

 

[Little Gray]

I am a guy and by far the majority of my friends are women and I say men and women can be friends. I cant say that I have ever really been sexually attracted to any of them with one exception but she doesn't count because we used to date in highschool.

 

[DoPo]

hmm yeah you may be right

Aww, Vault, I thought we were friends and you want to throw all that away because of sex?

no...because of science *sniff*

Well...OK, for science, I can understand *takes clothes off* but you bring the rubber duck, ketchup and balloons.

 

[Vault101]

Well...OK, for science, I can understand *takes clothes off* but you bring the rubber duck, ketchup and balloons.

will penut butter do? I dont like "ketchup" (tomato sauce) and dont have any around the house...

 

[Fappy]

I don't currently have any female friends I want to bone (besides my significant other of course), but I have in the past. Honestly, as long as you don't let it become an issue it never will. People can't help who they want to bump uglies with. Just don't let it influence your interaction with them and you'll be fine.

 

[Darken12]

As someone who finds both genders attractive (more or less), under your corollary I would be unable to have friends. Much to everyone's surprise, my best friend is gay and we have no attraction for each other, since we've known each other since elementary school. I also consider my straight male friends as disgusting, sex-wise (because that's their attitude towards same-sex relationships, so I mirror it back at them). I've got some uncomfortable moments with my female friends, which I've managed to shut down before they turned into actual asking me out or anything of the sort. The only time where I had a friend I was attracted to, I told him, we shrugged it off and carried on. I easily got over it, as I realised we weren't compatible. The reason I had an attraction for him was because of the illusion of what a great couple we'd made. Once that was dispelled, the attraction was gone.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

I had more guy friends than anything else and I tend to get along with them better, but now that ratio has evened itself out.

I did have a few guy friends over the years that was attracted to, but I did nothing about it since I'm shy as hell and I was scared to look like an idiot. So I just ended up keeping it to myself.

I don't want that to get in the way if we're already good friends and let that either ruin the friendship or make it awkward every time we hang out. I read that article too earlier today and I think that guy was full of shit since guys and girls can be friends without the whole sex thing get in the way.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I have more female friends than male, by a good long shot, and I feel no burning need to copulate with any of them. Indeed a good number of them are ex-girlfriends, and it's really not a big deal. Is there occasionally a spark or remnant of that physical attraction, or some flirtation? Certainly. But we're all in relationships now and it's not like we'd ever act on it. We're not bonobos, for heavens sake, we can keep our hormones in check.

 

[DevilWithaHalo]

Why don't we ask the public?

<youtube=T_lh5fR4DMA> <youtube=FYQmqxQgEBY>

Seems like a pretty tight case.