Poll: Men need to find out that it's good to talk

[NoNameMcgee]

This is something that annoys me immensely about other men. I don't think the generalization is untrue, it's a very fair generalization honestly. There are some exceptions but for the most part I believe what you have said is true, I agree with the OP 100%.

Maybe it's because I have always been quite feminine in my personality, but I constantly find myself making friends more with girls than guys. I try to befriend guys but for the most part I find them very distant, and I only really have two guys I would actually consider friends. I am a very open person more than willing to talk about my feelings etc and I prefer the company of women where I can actually open up and not be 'judged' for it, like it's some kind of weakness to not keep everything bottled up inside.

Meh, basically every quality that the 'normal' poster guy possesses makes me roll my eyes. What's worse is when these guys argue that men are more logical and women only think with their emotions. Yes guys, it's completely logical to keep your emotions stuck inside you bottling up into a rage of fury. Solving problems with anger and violence is logical too, and so is thinking with your penis. Being scared of commitment is basically the epitome of solid logic! But above all... Having an ego about the same size as how big you pretend your penis is, so you MUST-BE-AS-MANLY-AND-GRUFF-AS-POSSIBLE-AT-ALL-TIMES, lest people think you're 'ghey' or something... Well yeah, that really just shows how smart you are and how we most definitely are the master gender.

I know I am stereotyping hugely with that last paragraph, but I am basically making an extreme example there of the stereotypical 'manly man'. However, I find that most guys at least have some of these qualities, and it never fails to annoy me.

 

[maninahat]

I tell my friends (male or female) jackshit about myself. I live with four other male flat mates, and for the most part, we keep our personal issues to ourselves. I've had many friends who talk about things on a deeply emotional level. They tend to get on my nerves, especially as they always seem like the kind of self-absorbed people who can't stop their mouths from flapping.

 

[andriod]

to put it this way, when you go out with friends no one wants to hear you bitching and moaning about your problems. That's why for the time your with friends you forget about your problems and have fun.

 

[DazBurger]

I have alotta friends, but only half a handful of reeeeaaally close ones.

So... Where do I fit in the poll?

Wow, sexism is still alive and well it seems.

It's kinda sad when people say one sex is more prone to one type of feeling as opposed to the other. I guess we need another 100 years before people think differently.

But seriously, if this grammar is any indication of how people are, I guess we are all fucked.

I guess I have to go and watch some sort of sport that shows men getting beaten up by other men now.

Cheers!

Its about as much "sexism" as saying that men on an average is taller and heavier than women...

 

[CaseySmith]

Wow, sexism is still alive and well it seems.

It's kinda sad when people say one sex is more prone to one type of feeling as opposed to the other. I guess we need another 100 years before people think differently.

But seriously, if this grammar is any indication of how people are, I guess we are all fucked.

I guess I have to go and watch some sort of sport that shows men getting beaten up by other men now.

Cheers!

Well, because that's the truth. Our genetic and hormonal make-up are different, so there are bound to be genetic and cultural traits seen throughout certain groups of people. It's no different from seeing dark skin on Africans; the brain and endocrine system differ with the same effect.

It's evident by your surroundings, and if you can't realize this, or even come to terms with it, then *shrugs* I guess I wasted my breath. =p

 

[Thunderhorse31]

Actual conversation I've had with my wife:

"Wife: What are you up to?
Me: Just talking to Andrew.
Wife: How's he doing?
Me: Fine I guess.
Wife: Has he finished classes yet?
Me: I don't know.
Wife: Is he still working at the same job?
Me: I don't know.
Wife: Well, what the hell are you talking about?
Me: Well, we thought Cliff Lee would sign with the Yankees, but then he signed with the Rangers..."

So yeah, I'd say men and women definitely connect differently. Though I admit, if my buddy did need me on an emotional level, I'd be there to help. We just don't need to discuss it as often as women might.

 

[Yureina]

As with so many other things gender related, I sit on the border on this one by being a cross between being too pre-occupied with my own affairs to think about emotional issues as well as being ready and able to disclose thoughts and feelings to a significant extent. But... I guess i'm just a strange exception to all rules.

And that is exactly how I like it.

 

[Tipsy Giant]

Men rib each other to their face, women do it behind their backs, yeah we are the ones with the fucked up friendships lol
I have known a lot of women and EVERY SINGLE ONE of them has talked shit behind each others back

If men wanna talk about that their emotions they do it with family partner or female friend.

 

[Spec Op Slinky]

You are close friends. It's not like guys are insecure or something if they don't want to talk about their life, it's just that we are content not to.and guys do have true friends, we are guys and our friends dont have to spill their life story every time we get together. besides, how do you know that men have fewer close friends? you don't know that. you are just generalizing and guessing based on one conversation a month. you need more data before you form a hypothesis.

 

[Sgt Doom]

I generally don't like talking about my problems for fear of putting off the the few friends I rarely have at any given time in my life.

 

[RMcD94]

I'm jumping on the it's irrelevant to mention genders, since it depends on the people.

If I was to say USAmericans own mobile phones, for example. The majority of USAmericans do own phones, so that is a correct generalisation, but, there's thousands of people who don't, and to suggest that it's okay to ignore them, mindboggling.

What features are masculine? Nothing. The only feature which is common through out every single male is a male sexual system. That's it. That's what makes them male.

What features are feminine? Nothing. The only feature which...

You get the idea. To suggest that someone is less female because they aren't emotional is retarded. Why not just use the word emotional?

"Are emotional people more likely to talk about emotions?"

That should have been what the article was about. It is completely irrelevant if they are male or female. The only case that would help is if there are no exceptions.

Especially talking about this on the internet, when it is an entirely mental socialisation, without the physical defining of being male or female, where it is extremely easy for another person to mistake your gender. (I know that a person I talk to in chat is female, but I have it in my mind they are male.)

There is a female body, but there isn't a female mind.
There is a male body, but there isn't a male mind.

(Obviously, I'm ignoring hormones here, there is a physical difference between male and female brains, but I don't think they make anything impossible, but if they do, please tell me.)

I remember typing this argument up in chat to someone who wanted a sex change because they were female in a male body. And that just says it all to me, that people actually think that if they act a certain way, they shouldn't be in a certain body, based purely on stereotypes.

---

I have a lot more female friends than male friends, useless information I know. I have a lot more blue eyed friends than brown eyed (just made that up no idea if it's true). From my experience, female friends seem to be miserable, a lot more, than male. And maybe it's because we keep it bottled up, in which case my male friends are doing a wonderful job at hiding it. But not all my female friends are like that, I have one who isn't emotional. And that's the whole point. To say that makes her less female is absurd.

No idea where I am going with this, just going to finish here.

 

[Shockolate]

I'd have to agree. I find myself aquaintances with just about every male of my age group (and even some females) and not close to any of them. I can laugh and have fun with just about any of them, but I don't find myself particularly close to anyone, not even my longtime friends whom I've known for 14 years.

I do not open up. I do not talk about my emotional problems. This mainly due the reason that I don't understand anything myself. I know I have problems, but I can't express it. Even if I can, it will have changed. Everyday, it's a new idea, a new feeling on any given subject, and I can't even keep up with how many times I've tried to explain the source of my depression with different answers.

 

[V TheSystem V]

A lot of women I know do tend to insult their friends behind their backs, sometimes just disagreeing with things they've said, sometimes expressing their disdain for them, and they've been friends for years!

I have several close friends, more male than female. I have lost the female friends easier than my male ones, and one of them was my ex (she turned very immature and tended to slag everyone off, sometimes just lying to agree with us). I usually tend to lose them due to their relationships, because as I am a guy, their boyfriends tend to believe that I may be a threat. This could happen again, unfortunately.

 

[Kenko]

Lol men have less close friends? Thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard. Women thrive on stabbing eachother in the back and in pointless group politics.

Guys easier solve problems with eachother as well, a few punches, a few beers. Friends. While women hate eachother for the rest of their lives doing anything in their power to hurt said "target".

And guys talk alot to eachother, its just that we dont have to whine and moan about it. We talk about it, solve it, understand it depending on what it is. Then thats that. And we dont need to talk about emotions, most of the time guys who are close friends already know what the other one is feelin or going through and there's no need to bring it up unless the other parts want to do so. Or atleast thats how it work in my group of friends. Minus the punching part

 

[JokerCrowe]

But what if your most of your friends are female? I have more close chick buddies than I have guy buddies, but yeah, I guess I don't talk as much to my guy friends about feelings and stuff. Personally I think you'll become better friends if you don't tell you friends about your baggage. That is what parents/therapists are for.

 

[Mistermixmaster]

I don't really let anyone in on my emotional status or anything like that to my real-life friends (no difference between male or female). However, I do tend to talk a bit more loosely about emotional stuff and the like via internet/MMO's with my friends there, as thanks to internet-anonymity there's no real worries about the consequences if our internet-friendship should die for any reason.

And well, to be quite honest, locking up emotional/personal stuff in a box and throwing that box in the ocean works best sometimes for me. I guess that's also why gaming is my form for escapism from reality, eh?

 

[Cowabungaa]

I think it's been explained before that a man being a close friend with another man is different than a women having a close relationship with another woman. Both sexes use the same type of relationship for different purposes, generally speaking.

That said, I can't really judge. I have no real life friends whatsoever, so even if I wanted to talk about my emotions, I wouldn't have anyone to talk about them.

Making generalizations based on someones sex is not sexist you say? Okay, sorry for my other posts.

It's almost as much of a fact as that women have vaginas and men have penises.

Fact is, men and women are different on certain physical grounds, this includes certain behavioural patterns (as they, obviously, also originate from your body). One is being sexist if they equal those difference to being worse than the other sex.

That's not to say that there aren't exceptions and varying degrees.

Why is sex the only thing it is universally acceptable to generalize?

Because it's a pretty damn big biological difference, unlike say skin colour. Also, generalisations are per definition unfounded. That is not the case with certain differences between men and women.

That's not saying that there are exceptions to the rule, those are always present, and obviously they shouldn't be discriminated against.

 

[Fetzenfisch]

My Friends, male or female are both as close and emotional supportive, i know a lot of dudes normally have problems to open up to another guy or vice versa, but it changes with time, age and depends on what (sub)culture you belong to.
Most of my mates are out of Punk, Goth, Hippiish or Metal culture, if you exclude most of the typical metalheads thats a lot of open minded and honest persons (not always to the "normal folks" but thats not the topic is it?) i can talk to 99% of them about everything and we do regularly.
With good friends you don't even have to mention anything, they'll sense if something is wrong, or especially right, and then they will comfort you or celebrate.

 

[KSarty]

Lol men have less close friends? Thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard. Women thrive on stabbing eachother in the back and in pointless group politics.

Guys easier solve problems with eachother as well, a few punches, a few beers. Friends. While women hate eachother for the rest of their lives doing anything in their power to hurt said "target".

And guys talk alot to eachother, its just that we dont have to whine and moan about it. We talk about it, solve it, understand it depending on what it is. Then thats that. And we dont need to talk about emotions, most of the time guys who are close friends already know what the other one is feelin or going through and there's no need to bring it up unless the other parts want to do so. Or atleast thats how it work in my group of friends. Minus the punching part

This is pretty close to how it is with my friends. Junior year of high school my best friend's kidneys failed. I went to see him in the hospital and all we did was watch tv and shoot the shit. Not once did we actually mention anything to do with what was going on with him. As I was leaving his parents thanked me for not being weird about it. I think guys understand each other more in that regard. He felt better after spending some time with one of his friends, he didn't need to open up to me about what he was feeling.

 

[SultanP]

I'll tell anyone anything, if they seem like they actually would want me to tell them something like that, I'm not shy about opening up. I have two friends that I regularly talk about all the sensitive stuff with, like how we feel about life, how we're dealing with shit, and all that. I have one other friend with whom I share some of that. But I have no problem letting it out.