Poll: Men need to find out that it's good to talk

[falcon1985]

Watch this. Not realy about the friends thing, but i love the way he describes men and woman's emotions.

 

[falcon1985]

Watch the Mark Gungor video about men's and woman's brains. All will be clear then.

 

[Blue Musician]

It does described me to a certain degree, but that's because I am an person with autism and alexithymia and I am a misanthrope who likes to hang out on cemeteries.


You can guess why people do not really like me, apart from racism...

 

[nuba km]

I never said to discredit anything, all I said was that it's harmful to propagate these sorts of things as it reduces the chances that someone will actually get judged as an individual. That doesn't even include the fact that anyone who conforms to social stereotypes in order to fit in will naturally adapt to them and prove them right.

It's no one here so far has established whether stereotypes are caused by modern behavior, or whether the behavior is caused by the stereotypes. Regardless, there are a significant number of outliers, and even if it is true, for their sakes it's better to avoid this completely. There's nothing to be gained by spreading this, unless you're intending to force everyone into them in order to oppress them.

I suppose I'm just ideologically opposed to the idea of fearing and censoring information. I really don't see it being harmful in and of itself, and that how I like to judge things, on their own merits.

so you judge things on their own merits by making generalisations about half of the worlds population.

 

[Sronpop]

I think its more of an unspoken bond sort of thing. Guys are friends with guys to have fun, when you go to the pub to have fun drinking with your mates you leave your emotional baggage at the door. All guys look down upon the girl who breaks down crying for no apparent reason at the end of the night in a pub or something. Its just not what we do. Its a bro's before ho's type of thing. We never talk about that shit, you don't go for a drink with your friends and expect that shit, you expect to have fun, so all men, well, man up and put their shit aside for the better good, aka, having fun for a while.

All men have shit to deal with, the thing is, they prefer to carry their burdens themselves instead of trying to offset that to another guy. Hell your friends have their own shit, the last they they want is to lay your shit on them as well. As a result of all this, men find it very very easy to get on with each other and they rarely fight. And if they do its because this unspoken bond was broken.

Sure its tough, but part of being a man in this day and age is taking shit on yourself. Its part of becoming a man. You don't become someone strong by not taking shit on yourself, its your responsibility, not your friends. Sure some advice here and there is grand. As for the talk over a failing marriage, sometimes that's needed, but that's the exception, not the rule. Its a whole lets not get used to this me helping you back up on the horse type of thinking.

As a result, its no surprise that young men have the highest suicide rate. Being a man in this day and age is no easy feat. I would even argue that its harder than its ever being considering the sheer amount of responsibilities one has to take on.

Mention equality all you want, men are still seen as the main providers for the household, and thus they take on all the responsibilities that come with that.

Hell, what men even have time to talk about their problems, most are too busy.

 

[DragonChi]

For Me, I only have 2 best friends that I talk about most things. I do have a few friends who are girls, but I don't know them well enough to feel like I can say anything too personal. Problem is I tend to prefer talk to females to vent my emotions because in my experiance and observations they are more gentile and motherly. And also there are just some things that I need to talk about that i KNOW guys simply dont want to hear. So I'm still without that female shoulder so i bottle myself up 95% of the time. Although one of my 2 closest guy friends is very much like me in terms of being emotional open, and understanding. We think alike, I consider him a brother to me and he's helped me more than words can say. But I need a balance of close friends on both sex sides. And I fully enjoy having both as friends.

 

[Ham_authority95]

My male friendships are more based on the fun that we have with each other more than the emotional-support side.

Not that we need it anyway, since most of us don't have many emotional problems that we need each other for, anyway.
Also, if this article is correct about the majority of the male population, how is it such a huge problem?

 

[manythings]

Umm... you don't think it is a bit simplistic to say "Men aren't like women ergo women are better because that is what I think"?

I don't know what you mean.

99% of the post seemed to be about how you think maybe women are better because that is kinda what it seems like. The problem with that logic is they are women and we are men. We're the same species but we don't work on the same rules. Just to talk the emotional component of both genders there are vast differences in how emotion is processed and used. The same section for women is comprised of 6 times the white matter that men have for those purposes. You might as well compare a mack truck to a family van because they both have wheels.

 

[chiefohara]

Umm... you don't think it is a bit simplistic to say "Men aren't like women ergo women are better because that is what I think"?

I don't know what you mean.

99% of the post seemed to be about how you think maybe women are better because that is kinda what it seems like. The problem with that logic is they are women and we are men. We're the same species but we don't work on the same rules. Just to talk the emotional component of both genders there are vast differences in how emotion is processed and used. The same section for women is comprised of 6 times the white matter that men have for those purposes. You might as well compare a mack truck to a family van because they both have wheels.

Ah i get you now.

Those weren't my words bud, Its an article i lifted off a newspaper. You aren't the first one to mistake them for my opinion, so its my bad.

 

[Kialee]

Men share their problems less because they only tell people they truly trust, not just whoever is willing to listen to them.

Wait...what? That's a silly assumption to make. If I contract V.D. from a French prostitute in the red light district, I certainly wouldn't go running to everyone within earshot to talk about it. There are men who tell people they truly trust about their problems, and there are men who ***** and whine just as much as women do. On the flip side, there are women who never talk about anything to anyone, and women who run their mouth at every given opportunity about whatever bothers them.

 

[Uncreation]

The author of this article needs to find out it's good to shut the hell up!

Seriously, i find the article quite offensive. But that's just me.

 

[Doclector]

Heh, if there's one thing I have learnt from the past few months, it's that talking to people about your problems not only highlights you as weak compared to the perfect alpha males and therefore a prime target, it shows up your weak spots like you're a dumb videogame boss. You may as well just attack yourself.

Hell, I wish there were people who didn't attack, but there simply arent. So no thanks.

 

[Kinguendo]

I used to talk about my thoughts and shit when I was young but not anymore... as is evident by the "and shit" I just used.

Now I just make sarcastic comments and jokes about pretty much everything.

Will it kill me? Maybe. Who cares? Nobody. Wouldnt go to the hospital about it, havent gone to the doctors even though half of my left foot has been numb for about 2 months now. I consider life an endurance test, you take all you can until you break and I am doing pretty well so far.

 

[teisjm]

My friendships is mainly centred around common interrests, mainly gaming.
I dunno, i never feel a need to call anyone and tell them how i feel, but i would feel a need to call one of my friends and tell him how i just annihalated the entire enemy team in HoN (though he would most liekly haev been i the game himself, and noticed)

If i feel bad about something, i'd much rather do something to distract me from it, than call someone up, i'd feel really uncomfortable doing so, whether it was a friend, my girlfriend or my mom. I just prefer to deal with shit myself, and do more enjoyable things with people.

Though if i'm talking with someone, it's not like i'm scared of telling them stuff, it's just not that interresting or enjoyable.

I also disliek when someone spilsl their guts to me, cause most often, it's something i can't do shit about whether i want to or not.

 

[Shock and Awe]

From my experience I have a few male friends that I can talk about things like the author describes, I have many female friends as well, but I only have one that I would talk about the kind of things I discuss with some of my male friends, though I have also known her for literally half my life. Also from what I have seen, males tend to get much closer in relationships then females. They seem to be much more loyal to each other than females to their friends, who from my; and many of my female friends' perspective, are much more catty and a lot more backstabbing. Though you have to take into account that men put much less emphasis on feelings than women in general, a man and a woman can be feeling the same thing but they will react quite differently.

 

[Blindswordmaster]

Though I have few friends, they're really good friends. We hang out, we shoot the shit, and that's all I need. I don't experience these feelings like women apparently do. If I have a problem, I'm able to deal with it. And if I did have some complex emotional problem, way would I burden my friends with that? What did they do to deserve that? They're your friends, not your fucking wife. I don't need emotional support, I need comrades, friends, buddies.
Another thought: There's an old saying,"Men are friends until something changes that, while women are enemies until something changes that."
Edit: Why i there no 'bullshit' option in the voting?