Poll: Men need to find out that it's good to talk

[chiefohara]

Wow, sexism is still alive and well it seems.

It's kinda sad when people say one sex is more prone to one type of feeling as opposed to the other. I guess we need another 100 years before people think differently.

But seriously, if this grammar is any indication of how people are, I guess we are all fucked.

I guess I have to go and watch some sort of sport that shows men getting beaten up by other men now.

Cheers!

Instead of putting people down and departing the discussion with a sexist one liner why not give your two cents on the article?

Men and Women behave differently. Women talk more, men bottle up more. How is that sexist?

 

[Lexodus]

I sort of agree. For the most part, my close male friends...I would never actually tell how I feel. Yet I will tell everything to my current significant other, and I love her with all my heart. There is also one guy, an internet friend, yet I have told him significantly more about how I feel than any male I know physically. It is....odd...

Not that odd. Internet friend is only there when you need or when he needs you, but you can run into meatspace friends at the worst times and, once you've told somebody something, it makes it all the more awkward seeing them again, seeing as they now have new information on you and will judge you accordingly (or so the fear goes).
I've been forced to see psychiatrists and shrinks through my life, but I can never see one more than once. I'm just not comfortable with them knowing that much about me.

 

[Withall]

I have learned, the hard way, that it is much better to talk about what bothers you (stating it, more than trying to prose it), and guessing the probable cause for it. I've noticed it's very therapeutic, if a bit difficult to use as a ground for casual conversation.

 

[tzimize]

Men have fewer close friends, and their friendships tend to rely less on emotional support and more on camaraderie than women?s. Are they real friendships at all?

Males make better friends then women in my experience, judging by the backstabbing I constantly see atleast. I'll admit I have fewer friends than most girls, but my friends are far, far closer than any girls I've seen together. And I've got quite a few girl---friends as well.

This is my excact experience as well. Girls are bitchy and still accepted in the friendly circle, if a guy is an asshole you can be damn sure he's not invited to anything fun me or my friends do. Girls are usually way more shallow than guys in my experience and way too unstable/prone to take things the wrong way to be good friend material.

You've heard about the friendzone right? Who ends up in the friendzone? Guys.

 

[Danzaivar]

I can have a pretty emotional discussion with pretty much all of my friends, male or female.

An exception, or just part of the new metro-sexual generation? Who knows. If this article is looking at people in their early thirties onwards then it's not surprising at all, but I think that these kinda barriers are starting to come down now. Part one of feminism was women being allowed to act more like men, part two seems to be letting men act more like women, so to speak.

 

[Mana Fiend]

I tend not to give out emotions to either male of female friends. I've been told they like me as an upbeat joker, and I don't particularly see it as fair to unburden my issues on them. Would much rather have a laugh than get all down-and-out.

That said, when I do vent (probably once a year, on some unsuspecting victim), I tend to do so at my female friends. They just tend to be a lot more supportive.

 

[riotwraith]

It seems like the "white people do this, black people do this" shtick is practically gone, so why do we keep revisiting the "men do this, women do this" one?
I might as well throw around some broad generalizations based only on personal experience, myself.
Men generally have far more friends than women, and all the friends are far closer and more likely to confide in each other. "Confide" implying 1) That it is somewhat emotional rather than purely gossip-based. 2)that the information being confided is not shared with every other person of either gender that can be called a friend. "friend" in the use at the beginning of this paragraph including people that are actually emotionally close rather than people who are just there and are not particularly well-liked the majority of the time.

See how ridiculous it sounds when you think of the way you personally see the people around you as absolutes describing all people? Yeah, in the article he consulted someone who sounds like an expert on the subject. Quick question: how many people in this thread would trust the opinions of a random person you know absolutely nothing about other than that he describes his job as "relationship consultant"? Anyone?

This post brought to you by BORING WALL-O-TEXT(tm)

edit: and if you're wondering about me I will pour my heart out to friends of either gender, provided I can trust them and believe they will actually care. If they don't fit into both of those categories, I use the term "acquaintance" or "that jackoff" instead of "friend". That's the reason I can usually count the number of friends I have on one hand. But at least I know that the friends I do have are true to the end.

 

[Eponet]

Wow, sexism is still alive and well it seems.

It's kinda sad when people say one sex is more prone to one type of feeling as opposed to the other. I guess we need another 100 years before people think differently.

But seriously, if this grammar is any indication of how people are, I guess we are all fucked.

I guess I have to go and watch some sort of sport that shows men getting beaten up by other men now.

Cheers!

Instead of putting people down and departing the discussion with a sexist one liner why not give your two cents on the article?

Men and Women behave differently. Women talk more, men bottle up more. How is that sexist?

Because it judges people based on a trait that applies to roughly half the world's population instead of on the individual. Whether there is a correlation or not, it's a broad generalisation that is commonly accepted and used when making assumptions of others, it's harmful to propagate this sort of thing.

OT: Both me and my male friend had an equal number of close friends, one. We'd spend most of our free time with each other.

 

[Dags90]

Because it judges people based on a trait that applies to roughly half the world's population instead of on the individual. Whether there is a correlation or not, it's a broad generalisation that is commonly accepted and used when making assumptions of others, it's harmful to propagate this sort of thing.

Science and study don't make judgments, they describe reality. Sometimes reality sucks, or isn't fair. It shouldn't be discredited on that basis. It's unlikely this study applies to half the world, as the sample was probably entirely Western. It's not racist or sexist to say that women and African Americans (in the US obviously) as a group earn less money or attain less education than white males because these are just descriptions of reality.

 

[Naheal]

Kinda. I'm more of a "keep folks around I can trust" kind of guy.

 

[chiefohara]

Wow, sexism is still alive and well it seems.

It's kinda sad when people say one sex is more prone to one type of feeling as opposed to the other. I guess we need another 100 years before people think differently.

But seriously, if this grammar is any indication of how people are, I guess we are all fucked.

I guess I have to go and watch some sort of sport that shows men getting beaten up by other men now.

Cheers!

Instead of putting people down and departing the discussion with a sexist one liner why not give your two cents on the article?

Men and Women behave differently. Women talk more, men bottle up more. How is that sexist?

Making generalizations based on someones sex is not sexist you say? Okay, sorry for my other posts.

Are those generalizations untrue? There will always be exceptions, but by and large was what i last said really that unreasonable an assumption to make?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-419040/Women-talk-times-men-says-study.html

http://www.bukisa.com/articles/238804_why-do-women-talk-more-than-men

http://menshealth.about.com/od/psychologicalissues/a/emotions.htm

http://www.emotionalprocessing.org.uk/Emotional%20Processing%20&%20Gender/Emotional%20expression%20in%20men%20&%20women.htm

Whether these behaviours are naturally developed or the result of gender driven narratives force fed to us is open for discussion but regardless of origins, they seem to be the predominant form of behaviour thats there.

 

[riotwraith]

Men and Women behave differently. Women talk more, men bottle up more. How is that sexist?

And yet if I went into a topic on the subject of race and said "Blacks play basketball, whites skateboard" everyone would either call me racist or think I was joking. Why is sex the only thing it is universally acceptable to generalize?

I mean, I can pull up all sorts of statistics about how more black people play basketball and more white people skateboard. Does that make it ok? Actually... would it?
Um... ok then

 

[MetalMonkey74]

I think that most men talk about something that is on their mind, only when they really tried everything first. And they only talk about it when they are looking for a solution. Women on the other hand just need to vent. They dont really want a solution, they just want you to agree with them and smile.

I think men tend to make friends pretty easily, but will filter through the lot to hang on to the true ones they come across.

Thats what i've learnt in my 30 years of life anyway

And yes, i'm one of those men that will keep stuff bottled up until absolutely necessary

 

[chiefohara]

Wow, sexism is still alive and well it seems.

It's kinda sad when people say one sex is more prone to one type of feeling as opposed to the other. I guess we need another 100 years before people think differently.

But seriously, if this grammar is any indication of how people are, I guess we are all fucked.

I guess I have to go and watch some sort of sport that shows men getting beaten up by other men now.

Cheers!

Instead of putting people down and departing the discussion with a sexist one liner why not give your two cents on the article?

Men and Women behave differently. Women talk more, men bottle up more. How is that sexist?

Because it judges people based on a trait that applies to roughly half the world's population instead of on the individual. Whether there is a correlation or not, it's a broad generalisation that is commonly accepted and used when making assumptions of others, it's harmful to propagate this sort of thing.

OT: Both me and my male friend had an equal number of close friends, one. We'd spend most of our free time with each other.

Fair enough.

 

[Eponet]

Because it judges people based on a trait that applies to roughly half the world's population instead of on the individual. Whether there is a correlation or not, it's a broad generalisation that is commonly accepted and used when making assumptions of others, it's harmful to propagate this sort of thing.

Science and study don't make judgments, it describes reality. Sometimes reality sucks, or isn't fair. It shouldn't be discredited on that basis. It's unlikely this study applies to half the world, as the sample was probably entirely Western.

I never said to discredit anything, all I said was that it's harmful to propagate these sorts of things as it reduces the chances that someone will actually get judged as an individual. That doesn't even include the fact that anyone who conforms to social stereotypes in order to fit in will naturally adapt to them and prove them right.

It's no one here so far has established whether stereotypes are caused by modern behavior, or whether the behavior is caused by the stereotypes. Regardless, there are a significant number of outliers, and even if it is true, for their sakes it's better to avoid this completely. There's nothing to be gained by spreading this, unless you're intending to force everyone into them in order to oppress them.

 

[mkg]

Men don't run on emotions like women do. If you ask a guy a question, he will give you a straight answer most of the time. How he feels about it usually doesn't figure in unless it pisses him off. What REALLY needs to happen is not men needing to figure out talking is good, but women figuring out that if you have a man that talks, everything he says isn't gonna be what you want to hear. Women tend to baby eachother when they're having a conversation. Then they'll turn around to their husband and be like, "Can you believe her?" Men are much more blunt.

 

[veloper]

OT:

?Men are working more hours than ever before, and there is more expectation on them when they get married, as opposed to say 20 or 30 years ago. Men are now expected to pull their weight more around the house, and rightly so, but their time to go off and be with male friends has been impacted upon. I myself got married about three years ago and I have seen my male friends a handful of times. To be honest, I?m surprised when a male friend calls.?

People have it easier now than ever before.

On topic: it's always been that way. Men generally talk less and this is fine.

 

[KurtzGallahad]

No, but I fit into the catagory of "girly man" so I'm not really sure if it still counts

 

[Dags90]

I never said to discredit anything, all I said was that it's harmful to propagate these sorts of things as it reduces the chances that someone will actually get judged as an individual. That doesn't even include the fact that anyone who conforms to social stereotypes in order to fit in will naturally adapt to them and prove them right.

It's no one here so far has established whether stereotypes are caused by modern behavior, or whether the behavior is caused by the stereotypes. Regardless, there are a significant number of outliers, and even if it is true, for their sakes it's better to avoid this completely. There's nothing to be gained by spreading this, unless you're intending to force everyone into them in order to oppress them.

I suppose I'm just ideologically opposed to the idea of fearing and censoring information. I really don't see it being harmful in and of itself, and that how I like to judge things, on their own merits.