Poll: My Love Triangle Help!!!
- Thread starter UpSkirtDistress
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You think it's any better if you dump her for her? At least if you're leaving her, you're the douche. If you're dumping her for her - you're rejecting her. I'd argue that's much more painful - when the person who hurts you isn't the bad guy.Marble Dragon said:
I was going to give my opinion, then I read Khadath and Darth Mobius' comments and I have to say I agree with them. My opinion is pretty much the same as that, you've wrote this asking for help but it seems to me that you'd be much happier with the other girl. It seems that you have more in common with her and the fact that you're entertaining these thoughts suggests you aren't as in love with your girlfriend as you once were. I voted to stay with your girlfriend in the poll but thinking about it I made the wrong choice. Don't get me wrong, I'm a romantic at heart and I've always hated cheaters, very few things make me as angry as finding out someone has cheated on their partner with someone else. However, in this instance it's not that simple, and I'd say it's much better for everybody if you break up with your girlfriend and ask out this other girl instead, but of course don't break up with her in a way that makes things really bad between you. Try and let her down gently, is what I mean, obviously she'll be upset but in the long run, if you feel like this and you have these doubts then if you stay with her you'll likely end up hurting her even more than you will be leaving her. Normally I would say try and make a go of things but this situation suggests, from what you've said, that you love this other girl even more, and that's something that won't change, believe me.
Sorry about the Wall'O'Text, by the way.
Sorry about the Wall'O'Text, by the way.
1) Breaking up with somebody to pursue someone else isn't cheating. It's not exactly the nicest thing in the world - but cheating is different. It's when you let the other person think you're in a relationship with them, when you're either sexually or romantically involved with someone else without your partner's knowledge.Trivun said:
2) There isn't really a gentle way to let someone down...
I wouldn't call it 'stringing them along' per se, because he's stated he has genuine feelings for #1 (a reason to continue the relationship) and after two years of the same, rather non-invasive routine with #2 she's apparently told him she still likes him. Unless she finds someone else, she's going to bop along behind him anyways.ThrobbingEgo said:
Less string, more status quo. I think.
If he had feelings for his girlfriend, he could just tell the other girl "no" and she could move on with her life. If he had feelings for the other girl, he could break up with his girlfriend so she could move on with her life. If he stays with his girlfriend, keeping girl #2 around as a "backup plan," he's not really committed himself to either girl. By definition, they're both being strung along.Lord_Panzer said:
That's totally selfish, irresponsible, heartless, and uncool. You can't just treat people like contingency plans. Be with someone for someone, or leave them because you're not into them. Don't string them along.
Think about it for a sec. You knew the other girl first, and it was just on and off. You never went any farther then that. Then you met the girl you're currently dating and you did stat going out with her. You had the chance with this other girl, but something happened and it didn't go through. As far as I'm concerned this is just the brain wanting something it can't/shouldn't have. Out of principal, though, I will not vote in this poll.
Hmmm, you make a good point, Freud. I'm so used to people like numbers it hadn't really occurred to me. I suppose that's what one gets when one asks The Internet for relationship advice.ThrobbingEgo said:
Is it not possible to consider i have feelings for both. I've said no to girl 2 before but she is still a really good friend so will be part of my life. She isn't exactly waiting around for me she lives her own life. She is an individual not my back up plan. I love my girlfriend ,really i do whether you believe it or not, but i just have feeling for this other girl. At this stage of my relationship i'm just beginning to think maybe there is more out there in the world but i'm afraid to do anything in case i lose her forever which is not what i wantThrobbingEgo said:
Personally, whoever makes you the happiest. I voted for other chick namely because you listed several negative qualities about your girlfriend and really none about the other girl, but throw away all the history and such, and whoever makes you more happy and who you honestly want to be with.
It's possible you have feelings for both - but nothing as certain as love for either. Why? Because you're asking complete strangers for their opinion over whether you should dump your girlfriend or not. When you have to make a commitment, which way are you going to roll? You seem indifferent and unable to choose.UpSkirtDistress said:
Do you "love" your girlfriend because of her, or because she's there?
I thought you were quoting someone famous, but Google says you weren't (not exactly anyway). That shit is deep, brah.meatloaf231 said:
I would pick the other girl. You're only 19, it's not like the relationship will last forever anyway, since you're already having feelings for another girl. When that happens, it's time to break up and move on.
You make a harsh but ascute point.ThrobbingEgo said:
Edit: I don't agree with everything you,ve said though, alot of it is harsh speculation but based on the info given seems the most logical conclusion to draw if you knew the full story perhaps you'd think differently.