Poll: Question for the guys...

[Doti]

What's this about the guys paying for the dates? Is this an american thing? Because I've never seen anyone around here actually do that, they always split the bill.

Having said that, I'd split the bill as well regardless of the quality of the date. It's kind of douchey otherwise. Pay what you committed to.

 

[Agayek]

For the record, my rules is this.

If I ask a woman out I pay for the date. Regardless of how it goes. If the woman asked me out I will pay for my half and she can pay for hers. I don't let women pay for me. I'm all for equality but in this I am old fashioned.

I pretty much second this. If I asked, I pay for it all; if I am asked, I'll pay for as much as she'll let me.

Not really sure why I do that, just that it seems right.

 

[Febel]

If my date is going badly, I'd probably pay just so I wouldn't have to make it even worse by turning to whatever tart I called out and saying "This sucked. I'm going punch you in the wallet now." That is of course completely melodramatic, but it's the idea that counts.

"Punch you in the Wallet..." I like that. Hope you don't mind if I use it at some undefined point in the future.

OT: Unless we agreed to split the bill beforehand or something like that, Yes I would pay the full bill. Judging by the poll results most other escapists agree with me. Who says chivalry is dead.

 

[Agarth]

If I am the one who invites the girl on a date, then I have to pay. Or at least that's what the part of my mind that made my moral code says.

 

[BRex21]

I pretty much always do pay, but then again I have a job that pays pretty well mixed with low expenses, granted I have had at least one date that I thought of just walking out on but I never went through with it. Its kinda a ***** that in this day and age men are responsible for feeding the women in exchange for the pleasure of their company, particulairly when its not all that enjoyable.
Generally third of fourth date I take her to a realatively inexpensive place and leave my wallet in the car to see if she is willing to pay, mostly because I hate the idea of wasting my time going out with someone who sees me as easy acess to free food money and sex, when generally prostitutes charge less and have fewer expectations. I kid of course

 

[Kpt._Rob]

I've never felt obligated to pay for a date. Even if it went horribly I probably won't protest paying for it, but i also would certainly not feel obligated. Same if it went well (though I might ask if I could pay for it, but also be respectful if she said no).

I don't let the genitals that I was somewhat arbitrarily born with tell me how to act. If I'm paying it's not because by a roll of the dice I was born with a dick, it's because I want to show that I care. And if the girl I'm with wants to show that she cares, I don't intend to deprive her of that opportunity.

 

[ChildofGallifrey]

My sense of chivalry would make me feel obligated to pay.

My, my, we've been quoting each other quite a lot these last few days, eh?

OT: Pretty much what Evil said. If you pride yourself as a gentleman, then you should pay even if the date is going badly. Who knows, your date may tell a cute friend that you still paid after the whole ordeal and they be impressed by your chivalry. You never know.

 

[kickyourass]

Unless she was a particularly offencive individual, I'd pay regardless.

 

[Amondren]

If I went on a date and it was a disaster yeah I would pay not because I HAVE too but because I want to because I find it polite and most girls do (I've met girls that hate being paid for by their boyfriends.)

 

[KarlMonster]

Unless it was previously agreed that you would go 'Dutch', you're paying.

Just because something went wrong doesn't give you the right to weasel out on the check.

In fact as a guy, on a date, you should ALWAYS be prepared to pay the check - even if that wasn't the original plan. My current GF surprised me once, I thought sure we were going dutch and it turned out we weren't. Fortunately I could cover it anyway. Shit happens.

Who knows, your date may tell a cute friend that you still paid after the whole ordeal and they be impressed by your chivalry. You never know.

I was just thinking this. How dare you ninja my chivalry, sir!
Best case scenario: you meet your next date while still in the restaurant. Maybe you can get the sympathy vote for a date gone wrong. Or invite her back into the restaurant.
Its just a good practice in general.

 

[Ham_authority95]

If you get set up on a blind date or just ask a girl out and then have a terrible date do you still pay for the whole thing?

Like I mean you both know that it is going poorly and you both know that there will not be a second date. Do you still feel obligated to pay?

I wouldn't insist on paying for the whole thing, period. Only if the girl lost her wallet would I pay for the whole thing. I have never paid more than 60% of a date.

They would be too traditional for me to date if they expect me to do that. That would probably be why the date was terrible, because we didn't gel like that.

I'm glad my current girlfriend is Danish and thus actual feels uncomfortable with me paying for the whole thing. I haven't actually dated many American girls, so I don't know how they would feel about it.

 

[rmb1983]

My sense of chivalry would make me feel obligated to pay.

Right here.

"Hero Complex" works into that, as well.

EDIT: As I've worked in the service industry for years and generally tend to tip well, I also find it pans out much better to just pay for the whole thing anyway and amount a tip I find fitting, given that most outside the industry don't usually tip in the same manner. It ends up sparing me the last little bits of my sanity by not having to argue when someone else opts to pay their end, but then leaves out some because I tack on a, say, $25ish dollar tip on a $50 check.

 

[Baron Twinkles]

It depends on the situation. I don't think guys should always have to pay. Nobody is going to end sexism with preferential treatment. But I'm not going to hold a bad date against them either.

 

[Zorak the Mantis]

I usually pay. But I make sure my first dates aren't anything expensive to begin with.

 

[lacktheknack]

I have a "Worst Case Scenarios" handbook that covers ending bad dates. I don't pay, I break the bathroom window and crawl out.

(Note: I have never actually been on a date.)

 

[Riobux]

I do it based on how it was previously arranged. If it was already decided I'd pay, then so be it.

 

[Razeluxe]

First dates are 2 things

1. inexpensive so it wouldn't matter
2. half n' half

 

[justnotcricket]

If you invited someone out, on the generous basis that you wanted to give them a nice time, then even if it turns bad, you're obliged (IMO) to pay.
Trying not to pay because your date didn't work out makes one both cheap, and a douche (regardless of gender, actually).

It follows, therefore, that if you want to invite people out, especially if it's a first date and you don't really know them, then you might want to opt for something easy on the wallet, like a picnic, or a coffee, or lunch somewhere tasty but inexpensive.