Michelle: You're very loving and giving when you want to be and few girls have such awesome dress sense or taste in music. Good DJ to boot. You're very attractive, don't tear yourself down. Sorry about...well, you know.
Sarah: You stayed yourself longer than anyone else I've ever known doing the same thing. Hope you're well.
Amanda: You're a clever girl, you have something to drive you, even if half the time it's round in circles.
Claire: I can't believe how hard you work looking after your family and still keep everything together at work.
Emma: I'm not going to start a fight here by ranking you, but your dress sense was just as awesome as Michelle's. In fact since the chance of her reading this is about zero you're probably the reason I like hers so much. Also I've never had as much fun with anyone as I had with you. Still miss you sometimes.
Sally: Very positive and energetic... damn you I can't keep up!
Amanda: I do like you, it was just a bad situation for everyone concerned and I can see why you were acting the way you were, I wish it had all turned out differently.
Mandy: You have the most awesome porn collection of any woman I know...the only porn collection admittedly but hey, well done anyway. Also well done on not raising your child to be like the rest of us...that's probably more important than the porn.
Jodine: ...gah...no, I can't do it, you're a horrible manipulative parasite, all you have is your looks and your utter lack of conscience, if you had the slightest bit of decency you'd get your own flat, get a job and pay your own way in life you vile, unconscionable harpy.
Paula: How on earth do you work so hard? I reckon it's because you're so small, high power to weight ratio...and the coffee. Also: Daaawwww.
Lynette: You were too good for him anyway. The tosser.
Sarah: You have done incredibly well for yourself, and you didn't turn into a media tosspot either!
I should really go and say these things to their faces, those that I can.