Poll: Teens sleeping together?

[templargunman]

I think once a person has sexual urges, they are old enough to have sex. If someone is educated enough to not make mistakes they'll be fine, if a kid is taught only to abstain, when they do choose to have sex, they'll be under-informed and unprepared.

So you're basically saying that middle-schoolers should be able to have sex because I'm pretty sure when every teenage boy starts to get sexual urges. Does it mean that they should be having sex? ABSOLUTELY NOT! To say otherwise is just retarded because they are in no way prepared for the responsibilities that come with sexual intercourse AT ALL. Of course educate them on the subject of safe sex, but don't start encouraging them to start boning immediately after the lesson is done.

Well, I never said encourage them. If kids learn about safe sex right as they gain their urges they'll always understand the risks and responsibilities involved. People coddle children too much, I don't believe in taking away a kid's rights when if he knows enough he can make the right decision.

 

[Agayek]

And, to think that a condom or birth control would remotely protect you from an STD is ridiculous.

OP: It really depends in my opinion.

I personally don't trust anyone with sex these days, because all of my friends seem to get way to lenient with safe sex. If I was a parent, I'd at least say no to it to keep them on their toes.

I've just got to point out, condoms actually do protect from STDs. Birth control (as in pills and whatnot) do not, but condoms definitely do. They're not quite as effective against STDs as they are as birth control, but they are effective. If memory serves, it's something like a 75-85% success rate.

 

[Zac Smith]

I'm currently 19 and my girlfriend is a few months older and will 20 in October, when we first started going out we were both about 14 - 15, we only used to go each others houses just for the day. Then eventually when we were allowed to stay over for the night when we were both about 16 - 17 but both mine and her parents insisted we slept in separate beds (A blow up bed on the floor) One day while completely innocently pissing about (nothing sexual) we accidentally broke her bed (trying explaining that to her parents) By this time we were 17 going on 18 so she was allowed a double bed for us to use, a few months later I got a double bed as well. All the times we have been together, we use protection and she is on the pill, and both hers and my parents know this so are comfortable with us sleeping together.

In short, I think it's partly our ages and the fact that we have been together for about 4 1/2 years now constant, and all our friends call us the "Perfect Couple" and "Soul Mates" just because we've been together so long compared to other friends in relationships

 

[Avistew]

As far as I'm concerned, any sexual contact under 18 is borderline paedophilia. Sleeping together in the same bed is questionable and often sets a bad precedent.

Thinking it's too young is one thing, but pedophilia seems like an interesting accusation when they're the same age. Being attracted to people your age is normal and not a deviation, and pedophilia is a paraphilia.

Also, I know this word is used everywhere and all the time, but pedophilia means attraction to prepubescent children. That means before puberty, or in other words, if they're already teenagers, it's not pedophilia anymore. Hebephilia is for attraction to young pubescent children/teenagers (about 11 to 14) and ephebophilia for teenagers aged 15 to 19. (Teleiophilia for people older than that, if you're wondering. So, attraction to adults, which is the norm for adults).

It's actually relevant and not just a stupid linguistic correction and nitpick, because people are at different hormonal and physical stages in these periods, and therefore being attracted to them is different if it's a child or a near adult, the the whole reason behind these classifications (there is also a category for toddlers, but that's getting too far off-topic).

At any rate, in the case of adolescent pedophiles, the difference needs to be at least 5 years for it to qualify as pedophilia, so for instance someone aged 16 could have sex with someone aged 11 or older and it wouldn't be considered pedophilia because the age difference isn't big enough for the attraction to be considered "deviant". That is unrelated to the fact it might be illegal depending on the place where they live.

Now, the fact that it makes you uncomfortable in particular is a different issue altogether of course, and you're absolutely entitled to that. But just because, for instance, the idea of having sex with a 20 year old guy doesn't appeal to me because I think guys that age are too young (I'm 26) doesn't make it pedophilia.

 

[similar.squirrel]

I can certainly understand if parents don't want any jiggery-pokery going on under their roof, mainly because it's probably disturbing for them and any siblings that may be sleeping nearby.
That said, my parents had no problem with girls sleeping in my bed at home. Not that sex ever happened.

 

[ceyriot]

I honestly think that as long as both partners are educated, aware of the risks and properly protected (condom, pill or both)...then there really isn't a problem.

As for the parents, I think that they should discourage that type of behavior (whether their teenager is a guy or a girl) until after high-school. Sometimes it can be hard to stop, but whatever...don't encourage that shit, until they're legal.

Just my two cents.

 

[Radoh]

You want to know what I think? I think there are a lot more sex threads on The Escapist then there needs to be.

 

[Tdc2182]

Eh, I think you're just like that teacher everyone has who always catches the one particular student doing something naughty when they are incredibly well behaved 99% of the time, and when they are well behaved they are never in the room.

Hmm, well, I guess I'll have to keep my eye on you.

Just quit bringing the pales of feces to my town hall meetings.

I've just got to point out, condoms actually do protect from STDs. Birth control (as in pills and whatnot) do not, but condoms definitely do. They're not quite as effective against STDs as they are as birth control, but they are effective. If memory serves, it's something like a 75-85% success rate.

Well, it depends on where you get them.

Condoms tend to only cover someones shaft. Things like herpes will generally be all around your downstairs area. It's rather hard to keep those two areas from touching with another female.

Also, Condoms aren't designed for that. They may help prevent it, but that is not their true purpose.

 

[Stasisesque]

And, to think that a condom or birth control would remotely protect you from an STD is ridiculous.

Wait... what? Either that's bad phrasing, incredibly bad phrasing, or you're suggesting condoms do not protect against STDs?

 

[SillyBear]

Eh, I think you're just like that teacher everyone has who always catches the one particular student doing something naughty when they are incredibly well behaved 99% of the time, and when they are well behaved they are never in the room.

Hmm, well, I guess I'll have to keep my eye on you.

Just quit bringing the pales of feces to my town hall meetings.

Will do!

 

[Stasisesque]

Eh, I think you're just like that teacher everyone has who always catches the one particular student doing something naughty when they are incredibly well behaved 99% of the time, and when they are well behaved they are never in the room.

Hmm, well, I guess I'll have to keep my eye on you.

Just quit bringing the pales of feces to my town hall meetings.

I've just got to point out, condoms actually do protect from STDs. Birth control (as in pills and whatnot) do not, but condoms definitely do. They're not quite as effective against STDs as they are as birth control, but they are effective. If memory serves, it's something like a 75-85% success rate.

Well, it depends on where you get them.

Condoms tend to only cover someones shaft. Things like herpes will generally be all around your downstairs area. It's rather hard to keep those two areas from touching with another female.

Also, Condoms aren't designed for that. They may help prevent it, but that is not their true purpose.

Depends on where you get them? Is there some black market trade in condoms I'm not aware of? If you get the wrong size, sure, that can pose problems - but all condoms are made to a very very high standard. They cannot be sold if they do not meet incredibly specific requirements.

Herpes can be contracted without another person present. There is no guaranteed way to protect against the disease. You can pass oral herpes on to become genital herpes, hell you can even transfer it from your own mouth to your own genitals with your hands. Not a nice disease but the outbraks are completely controllable with the right treatment.

However, every other STD can be protected against with sensible use of condoms (male or female).

 

[88chaz88]

Whether you and her sleep together is up to you, but I don't think your parents should be supporting it by any means. It gives the impression that they're trying to be the 'cool parents' instead of actually looking out for their kid. Protection or not, there's always a chance she could get pregnant, and that brings up the issues in having a child so young (or getting an abortion and everything that goes along with that). Couple that with the risk of STDs and everything else and parents certainly shouldn't be actively allowing their kids to have sex.

Of course, if it's just sleeping in the same room, then it's not too big of a deal. But your question seems to mean otherwise.

Great, now I have nothing to say that hasn't been said already.

 

[Deadcyde]

you don't always have to fuck her hard... in fact some times that's not right to do.

 

[Flamezdudes]

I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have another friend sleeping round aswell, my girlfriend wouldn't even be able to stay round at all, let alone in the same bed since my parents would probably move her to another room.

Yeah, they're like that and I guess them being Catholic may have something to do with it maybe...

 

[Engarde]

I am not going to speak for others as that is not what I do, but I wasn't / aren't ready at that age / at this age so I wouldn't support it. Up to the two and what they know.

 

[Chibz]

People trying to tell other people what they can or cannot do with their bodies. Especially when the actions harm none. That general attitude sickens me.

 

[Hosker]

Sure, go for it. I don't see why you shouldn't, if you and your partner want to.

 

[onewheeled]

Huh, funny. I'm basically in the exact same situation as you. My long-distance girlfriend could make a stop where I live when she is flying from college in Michigan to her family in southern California, and I've been tossing around the idea of us sleeping together in a non-sexual way, only because there isn't any better way to do it. And you're only a year older than I am, whaddya know (I'm 16, I saw on your profile that you're 17, right?)!

Honestly, as long as things don't get kinky, I don't see any problems with it. But I can understand concern, so what I'm probably going to do is either have both of us sleep on a single L-shaped couch, or just grab an extra blow-up mattress for her while I take the couch.

 

[FamoFunk]

What age are we talking? 13yo teens or 15/16yo teens; there's a big difference.

Honestly - I'd rather my kid was sleeping with their Girlfriend/Boyfriend under my roof, where I know where they are and what they've been up to, rather than out gods know where trying to do the same thing, just because I dissaprove. (I don't actually disaprove, though).

 

[Torrasque]

I'd be telling my son to wait until he's been with this girl for at least 6 months if he really cares about her and to keep it to cuddling and such. If he doesn't care about her THAT much, then I'd tell him to enjoy being a kid while he can, and sex as much as he can so long as he uses protection.

I'd be telling my daughter that she can cuddle with him and kiss him as much as she likes, but she is not to sleep with him or have any sex with him until they have been together for at LEAST 8 months. I'll judge the boy's character, and if I like him, I might change my mind. But I intend to be that over-protective dad when I have a daughter.

If I was just an on-looker and not a parent in this situation, I'd tell the kids to wait till they are not living with their parents and to decide for themselves when they decide the time is right. I don't think anyone under the age of 16 should be allowed to date, because they have no idea what the fuck they're doing.