Poll: The Worst Song... In History?

[BarbaricGoose]

Now, before you say anything, I'm sure you're already thinking "No, I know what the worst song in history is, and it's ___." Well, you're wrong.

There have been a lot of just... awful... songs released, especially recently, so "Suck" is a very competitive category. This one is, however, and I'm tempted to use the word literally here, the worst of the worst. It's not some small, unknown song like BrokeNCYDE's... everything.

This is a song that, while not about stalking/rape--like Give It 2 U--it somehow still manages to make you feel violated. This is a song about Caligula-levels of self indulgence. And, for some reason, Paris Hilton. I'm pretty sure the video is also extremely racist, but it could just be that after watching it my mind is desperately trying to process why I feel so miserable, and it's grasping at straws as if trying to pull itself out of white water before it drowns.

Now, a few steps to prepare yourself for this video:

1. Make sure you've filled out your Advance Health Care Directive. It could very well come into play. You should seriously consider Do Not Resuscitate. If you slip into a coma, for instance, and someone finds you with this playing on your screen, you may not WANT to have to live with that kind of crippling shame. Which leads us into the next steps...
2. Make sure you're alone. You don't want a record of this.
3. Sign out of youtube. You don't want a record of this.
4. Start an incognito browsing session. You DON'T want a record of this.
5. Upon finishing, if you aren't preoccupied dialing 911 due to bleeding eyes/nose/ears/etc, uninstall/reinstall your browser. You really fucking DON'T want a record of this.

Spoiler: Okay. Ready?

Spoiler: Are you sure?

Spoiler: There's no going back.

Spoiler: This is the last time I will ask. You're making your own bed.

Spoiler: Okay. Last time. You're absolutely positive you want to go through with this?

Spoiler: You don't have kids, or anything?

Spoiler: Unmarried? No girlfriend/boyfriend?

Spoiler: No friends who'd miss you, or anything?

Spoiler: REALLY? No one who depends on you at all, in any way for anything?

Spoiler: Alright... NSFW.. or anywhere.

I do hope this is enough discussion value. But hey, for extra credit, is it racist, and can you do any better?

 

[Lionsfan]

I didn't really hate that.

A bit, ok a lot self-indulgent, but not the worst song I've ever heard

 

[Hoplon]

That's not even as bad as blurred lines, that's just kind of pathetic.

 

[shrekfan246]

That's got 13 million views?

No, I still have to disagree though. Lyrics aren't really enough to make something "the worst" to me, and while the vocals aren't... stellar, they're not terrible. I feel like pretty much any song by Millionaires is still worse than that, because at least that thing is making me laugh.

 

[HardkorSB]

No, this is the worst song ever made:

 

[DyqstARD]

No, this is the worst song ever made:

congratulations you win xD

 

[Duffeknol]

Still not as obnoxious as Hotel California. There is no more moping, depressing, god-awful annoying song than fucking HC. I get seriously sad whenever I hear it on the radio. I can ACTUALLY feel everything drain out of me. It's a physical pain.

 

[piinyouri]

@Duffeknol

No McChode?!
Where's the shamelessly self promoting guy I know?

 

[ItouKaiji]

No, this is the worst song ever made:

congratulations you win xD

You're both awful for making fun of a man that is clearly having the world's worst seizure.

And this is the worst song ever....


STANDING ASS FUCK PLEASE!

 

[Ashadowpie]

oy. i hate this music, the "music porn" i call it. its so backwards for the human race. i can not wait until we grow more intelligence and grow out of the "sex sells" mentality. in all seriousness, almost all the music today are incredibly sexual and i just listen to instrumental music now and im completely contempt with that. instrumental music is more inspiring and embracing anyways.

 

[Simple Bluff]

Will Smith has this kid apparently. He starred in some remake of some karate movie that nobody ever heard of or something. Anyway, what's important is that he made the greatest song ever known to us mortals only as... THE COOLEST.

 

[RedDeadFred]

No, this is the worst song ever made:

That was amazing! I would never watch it more than once but the ridiculousness of it was just too awesome.

OT: I thought Hot Problems was worse.

 

[Kenbo Slice]

Eh it wasn't that bad. Everybody knows the worst song of all time is this:

 

[Sam Lowry]

This is terrible:

 

[piinyouri]

Eh it wasn't that bad. Everybody knows the worst song of all time is this:

I seem to remember hearing something about the band coming out and saying they were never serious, as in they made their music terrible on purpose. (Perhaps a parody of other "scene-core" bands? Ah I'm probably giving too much credit..)

Wouldn't change much, but I am kind of curious if this is true or not.

 

[Kenbo Slice]

Eh it wasn't that bad. Everybody knows the worst song of all time is this:

I seem to remember hearing something about the band coming out and saying they were never serious, as in they made their music terrible on purpose. (Perhaps a parody of other "scene-core" bands? Ah I'm probably giving too much credit..)

Wouldn't change much, but I am kind of curious if this is true or not.

Nah, they're serious. They were actually talking about how people don't take them seriously and shouldn't judge them off of their demo song. But their debut album sucks as well, just for a lot of different reasons.

 

[piinyouri]

Eh it wasn't that bad. Everybody knows the worst song of all time is this:

I seem to remember hearing something about the band coming out and saying they were never serious, as in they made their music terrible on purpose. (Perhaps a parody of other "scene-core" bands? Ah I'm probably giving too much credit..)

Wouldn't change much, but I am kind of curious if this is true or not.

Nah, they're serious. They were actually talking about how people don't take them seriously and shouldn't judge them off of their demo song. But their debut album sucks as well, just for a lot of different reasons.

Ah yeah, oh well then.

Strange as it is, I can listen to weird, fucked up janky shit like this a lot easier than some generic radio song.
God that drummer sounds like me my second year of playing.

"I'M TRYING SO HARD."

 

[Kenbo Slice]

Eh it wasn't that bad. Everybody knows the worst song of all time is this:

I seem to remember hearing something about the band coming out and saying they were never serious, as in they made their music terrible on purpose. (Perhaps a parody of other "scene-core" bands? Ah I'm probably giving too much credit..)

Wouldn't change much, but I am kind of curious if this is true or not.

Nah, they're serious. They were actually talking about how people don't take them seriously and shouldn't judge them off of their demo song. But their debut album sucks as well, just for a lot of different reasons.

Ah yeah, oh well then.

Strange as it is, I can listen to weird, fucked up janky shit like this a lot easier than some generic radio song.
God that drummer sounds like me my second year of playing.

"I'M TRYING SO HARD."

The whole band is trying so hard, but failing so miserably. How they ever got signed to a fairly popular label is beyond me.

 

[MCerberus]

I see your youtube videos and raise you a Mass Text

 

[Fox12]

I'm sorry everyone. I'm pretty sure this qualifies as a war crime in some countries.

http://youtu.be/hxPsXPCR5MU

http://youtu.be/yN9UT2zF8c8