Poll: Thinking of Leaving My GF of Three Years
- Thread starter Chrishu
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IMO, from what the OP has written are his reasons, judging from that what kind of person he is, and the fact that he chose to ask for an opinion on this matter in a gaming forum, I'd say the problem is entirely him. I feel sorry for the current girl. You sound shallow as fuck dude.
You sir/madame, are a genius! lol! I loved this! Made my day!lacktheknack said:
As for the OP's situaiton. Leave your girlfriend, from your first statement "I'm tired of her" do you think it's going to get any better? Things have just run it's course with you two and it's not looking great, sure it's going to suck for the first couple/several months, but both she and you will get over it.
Best solution? Don't go out with your new girl just yet. If you feel the need to keep her around tell her "I just got out of a long term relationship, and while I like you, I'm not quite ready to get into another one" Trust me, you've just one uber cool points with her. Not only are you showing respect, for her and your ex, but you are also showing a slight sensitive side that girl's crave. You don't have to play it up, you can tell her you dumped her, and if your honest, that's even more cool points! Trust me, you can never have enough cool points with hot chicks. This combo will have her waiting a while for you, as she knows what it's like to get out of relationship (hopefully) and will be respectful for you.
This also stops any "OMFG! YOU LEFT ME FOR A WHORE!?" from your ex, which you want to avoid at all costs, especially since your families know each other. You dated for 3 years, she's a part of your life whether you want her to be or not and for a few months you're going to have to deal with that!
I will laugh if you get with the new girl, get three years into that relationship and realise you bicker with her and she nags you about stuff as well. also, sex will eventually become routine in your new relationship. It's what happens when you're with someone a long time. The only way to stay fresh and exciting is to jump from woman to woman and never settle down.
This settles it for me. If anything, giving each other freedom to do what you want is ONE OF THE KEY ASPECTS OF A RELATIONSHIP which many many relationships lack, my previous one has too and it destroyed a lot of good things in my life. Also one of my friends is going through this right now, but he'll end it soon enough (luckily for him).Chrishu said:
I'm glad to read that, even though you spend a lot time together, you don't bicker all the time (this usually happens when you don't get enough freedom). Kind of makes me doubt if the above is relevant, because, well, if you're happy with it; go ahead. You do seem to get your freedom, and taking freedom does not seem to make things worse between you (from what I can tell from what you wrote down).
As for the other girl. It's all in how well you think you know her. Also, if you break up with this girl, take your time before getting into the other girl. You'll compare them way too often (you probably will anyway, but diving in straight away can make things really awkward).
Seriously, from past experience. Stick with the gamer girl/ cosplayer if that is who you are. When it comes to intelluctual curiosity and attraction, this new girl will either be out of your league or will get sick of you after you date for about a month or after a year or two. I dated a brillant, attractive, intellectual, athelitic girl for 3 years who became self-obsessed with fencing, Foreign travel, perfection, and let alone foreign guys with rogue skillz..only..(no intelligence). Anyway, After a bit of dating and heartaching, I finally found an attractive down to earth, Cosplaying/Gamer Girl, who is caring and helpful all the time, she has no debts, and is almost done with college for secondary education. We compromise and have fun together when we are not busy. It's so much better to have someone who cares back, then to have someone who only cares about perfecting theirself. Love is not found in oneself. Love is found when someone you love loves you back for who you are and who you want to be.
I'd just like to point out you are asking for advice regarding a major life decision on a gaming forum. Seriously? What the hell man!? This isn't exactly the highest calibre of discourse. Not only that, it's a public forum. Why are you assuming she'll never read this?
Look, the only advice I can legitimately and ethically give you is to do what feels right, and the worst feeling you could possibly have in the future is regret.
Although I gotta ask, what do you mean by "safety"?
Look, the only advice I can legitimately and ethically give you is to do what feels right, and the worst feeling you could possibly have in the future is regret.
Although I gotta ask, what do you mean by "safety"?
You had me there, forget the 'hello'. Take a hard risk mate, you're both tired of each other and you know it. I've been in a long-term year relationship, it ended in an explosion of drama despite going steady for a long time. Don't lie to your selves and 'take a bit of time off' or some shit like that, it's going to be done pretty soon whether either of you like it or not. Then go for the new girl, the conflict and intrigue is more worth it than retarded stagnation. Hunt away, tiger.
I see more positive than negative sides to this. I suggest you stay together and work out any problems. If nothings really bad then I say don't go. What ever you decide, good luck I say.
He is a tremendous douche for being real about how he feels, how his girl treats people that are important to him, and the stagnation of his relationship? You are going to need to qualify this statement, because right now you are the only one that looks like a douche to me.Jaime_Wolf said:
^^I wouldn't go as far as saying he looks like a douche now, just that he doesn't seem to understand relationships at all.magnuslion said:
In my honest opinion, Break it off with your current girl. You're young, you need to see more of the world, and she'll only hold you back it seems. You need to meet other new people, new women, new guys, go to new places, just get out of this comfort zone now while you still can. You don't want to be stuck in a relationship in which you don't even want to be in. It doesn't make any sense.
My girlfriend of 3 years cheated on me the day that I told her I think we needed to "take a break". She cried and cried on my shoulder and went and hooked up with a guy that she knew for about 8 years (5 years longer than me obviously). I didn't feel anything left in the relationship, so it was simply for the best.
I'll say this when you make your final decision don't factor in the new girl because of two reasons, everyone looks around and you're bond to find a woman who APPEARS more interesting, no matter what girl your with and secondly the relationship with the new woman could easily fall into the same traps as the old one. Also before you do end the relationship talk to your girlfriend she may be willing to try things to save the relationship and sometimes all a stall relationship needs is a vacation or any other change of pace.
