Poll: Thinking of Leaving My GF of Three Years

[Chrishu]

So, here's the deal: I'm sick of my woman.

We've been dating for three years, nonstop. We go to college together and tend to always take classes with her. She's alright-looking, and she plays games and cosplays and such rather continuously and adequately. We tend to agree on many issues of morality, life, and love, though she's a bit interested in children and marriage, which concerns me. Our sex life is, to put it bluntly, great, even though I have long ago lost interest.

Things between us are by no means BAD. But they also aren't perfect. We bicker incessantly due to our shared trait of stubbornness, and she is overly harsh and judgmental of my activities (hardcore gaming, drinking) and she pouts whenever I take alone time or leave her to see my friends. She's also very critical of my father and sister, people who are flawed but not worthy of the heaps of derision poured upon them.

We also have many portions of our lives intertwined, e.g., we both share an hourly job and our families are quite fond of each other.

There's also a fly in the ointment. I'm falling for another woman as well. This new girl is three years younger than myself. (I'm 21, if it helps) and we are both very into each other. I've kept a bit of distance between me and this new girl, but I find it harder and harder to avoid. This new woman appears to have the qualities I like that my current girlfriend lacks: intellectual curiosity, passion, and a challenging mindset. She's the excitement and challenge my relationship lacks. Also, my current gf is a 6 and the new one is easily an 8.

TLDR: Excitement and Challenge, or Comfort and Security? Help me Escapists, you're my only hope.

 

[Ham_authority95]

So, here's the deal: I'm sick of my woman.

We've been dating for three years, nonstop. We go to college together and tend to always take classes with her. She's alright-looking, and she plays games and cosplays and such rather continuously and adequately. We tend to agree on many issues of morality, life, and love, though she's a bit interested in children and marriage, which concerns me. Our sex life is, to put it bluntly, great, even though I have long ago lost interest.

Things between us are by no means BAD. But they also aren't perfect. We bicker incessantly due to our shared trait of stubbornness, and she is overly harsh and judgmental of my activities (hardcore gaming, drinking) and she pouts whenever I take alone time or leave her to see my friends. She's also very critical of my father and sister, people who are flawed but not worthy of the heaps of derision poured upon them.

We also have many portions of our lives intertwined, e.g., we both share an hourly job and our families are quite fond of each other.

There's also a fly in the ointment. I'm falling for another woman as well. This new girl is three years younger than myself. (I'm 21, if it helps) and we are both very into each other. I've kept a bit of distance between me and this new girl, but I find it harder and harder to avoid. This new woman appears to have the qualities I like that my current girlfriend lacks: intellectual curiosity, passion, and a challenging mindset. She's the excitement and challenge my relationship lacks. Also, my current gf is a 6 and the new one is easily an 8.

TLDR: Excitement and Challenge, or Comfort and Security? Help me Escapists, you're my only hope.

Sometimes good things need to end. You're already falling for another girl, who you've "rated" above your current one, so it's pretty much all over for you.

When you drop the ball, don't be mean-spirited about it. As you've said, you share the same job and your families like each other, so that's a whole can of worms not worth opening. When you tell her, do it at her house, not yours.

Think about it in terms of video games: Has a "Comfortable and Secure" game ever broken any ground and offered a mind-blowing experience?

Just be glad that this is ending because of boredom and not because of bitter anger.

 

[Dags90]

How is your sex life "great" if you've lost interest? Seriously, I don't get that. Are you going strictly by number or something? I'd say no to incessant bickering though.

 

[Chrishu]

How is your sex life "great" if you've lost interest? Seriously, I don't get that. Are you going strictly by number or something? I'd say no to incessant bickering though.

Still fun, just rotuine. It's not exactly simple. XD We've done it over 300 times in 3 years. Tell me when that gets old for ya. :O

 

[Kinaori]

It sounds like what you've got going now isn't working. That would be true whether or not you met hot chick du jour, right? It's easy to romanticize what you don't really know, hotness aside.

If you leave your current thing, I'd say stay single for a while at least. Figure yourself out first before jumping right into the next relationship.

 

[Dags90]

Still fun, just routine. It's not exactly simple. XD We've done it over 300 times in 3 years. Tell me when that gets old for ya. :O

I've never had "fun" and "routine" overlap, but maybe that's just me. I suppose there are some people wake up every morning and get a kick out of brushing their teeth. Perhaps I'm using the wrong toothpaste.

 

[ace_of_something]

From what little you described i'd say you should do something new WITH your girl. Like go on vacation somewhere neither of you have been. Or take a class you normally wouldn't take or even join a bowling league.

It's probably not actually her you're tired of so much as it is the repetitiveness of life in general.

or

Ask people who actually know you and her. Like friends.

 

[Tipatap]

I voted "Yes, get the new hot chick!" because of what you described as her personality, and of how you described your current girlfriend, not because of the sexual appeal. -tips hat- That's just a bonus.

 

[lacktheknack]

Play Catherine and choose based on your ending.

 

[Rule Britannia]

You seem pretty confident you can get the new girl, if that's your mindset go for it, there is no point in being in a relationship that you don't like when there's a better one for you. Since you take classes with your 'current' girlfriend it will be awkward but any break up is awkward.

Go for the new girl if you're confident dude.

 

[The Virgo]

*snip*

I'm quoting this in the hopes that you will get the little notification.

Now, what I have to say is simple: If you want to break up with your girlfriend, that's fine. If you think that the right choice is to break up with her and go after the new girl, then go for it. But one thing I WOULD NOT DO IS CHEAT ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Please don't do that. I hate to sound like a crying woman pleading and mourning, but your girlfriend doesn't deserve that. If she was a monster *****, then yeah. But from what I've read, you have an otherwise great relationship with great sex and cheating on her would be a slap in the face to her.

Do whatever you want, but please, PLEASE, don't go the infidelity route.

That is all I have to say.

 

[thiosk]

the grass is always greener--

you are young, but if you break it off and feel sex desperate two months later, and start thinking about crawling back, don't say I didn't warn you about green grass syndrome.

 

[astrav1]

So, here's the deal: I'm sick of my woman.

We've been dating for three years, nonstop. We go to college together and tend to always take classes with her. She's alright-looking, and she plays games and cosplays and such rather continuously and adequately. We tend to agree on many issues of morality, life, and love, though she's a bit interested in children and marriage, which concerns me. Our sex life is, to put it bluntly, great, even though I have long ago lost interest.

Things between us are by no means BAD. But they also aren't perfect. We bicker incessantly due to our shared trait of stubbornness, and she is overly harsh and judgmental of my activities (hardcore gaming, drinking) and she pouts whenever I take alone time or leave her to see my friends. She's also very critical of my father and sister, people who are flawed but not worthy of the heaps of derision poured upon them.

We also have many portions of our lives intertwined, e.g., we both share an hourly job and our families are quite fond of each other.

There's also a fly in the ointment. I'm falling for another woman as well. This new girl is three years younger than myself. (I'm 21, if it helps) and we are both very into each other. I've kept a bit of distance between me and this new girl, but I find it harder and harder to avoid. This new woman appears to have the qualities I like that my current girlfriend lacks: intellectual curiosity, passion, and a challenging mindset. She's the excitement and challenge my relationship lacks. Also, my current gf is a 6 and the new one is easily an 8.

TLDR: Excitement and Challenge, or Comfort and Security? Help me Escapists, you're my only hope.

You ever played Catherine?

 

[ElectroJosh]

Okay - you are going to dump you current GF and get with the younger one. This isn't necessarily what I think you should do but, from what you posted, its clear thats what you are wanting to do.

Just be careful: you are interested it her for her fresh perspective/personality and looks. Looks fade and you get used to a personality over time. If you are just after a bit of fun go for it and don't worry. But if you want something more serious with the new girl I recommend looking out because you are likely to get bored again and, if there seems to be a better prospect, you might find yourself having the same dilema.

 

[LiberalSquirrel]

Have you been playing Catherine, OP?

Seriously, though, it sounds like what you've got with your current girlfriend isn't working out. Definitely end it with her, though try to keep it on good terms: there's no reason to make it a nasty break-up. I'd also say that you shouldn't leap right into a relationship with this other girl, either. You could easily be "falling for her" because she's attractive and, more importantly, different from your current girlfriend, who you've admitted has lost your interest in certain areas. Hold your metaphorical horses, and just be single for a little while. If you're still into this girl after a bit's gone by, then shoot for a new relationship.

 

[Hitokiri_Gensai]

typically, once youve said another girl is better, youre current relationship is over. Its just... kinda how it goes. If things TRULY arent working with your current girl, then its time to end it. Dragging things out isnt the way to have a good relationship. That said i think you need to give VERY good consideration to what youre giving up and leaving, because chances are, shes going to be gone.

 

[FaceFaceFace]

This new woman appears to have the qualities I like that my current girlfriend lacks: intellectual curiosity, passion, and a challenging mindset. She's the excitement and challenge my relationship lacks. Also, my current gf is a 6 and the new one is easily an 8.

the grass is always greener--

you are young, but if you break it off and feel sex desperate two months later, and start thinking about crawling back, don't say I didn't warn you about green grass syndrome.

I agree with the greener grass syndrome. If you switch, you'll probably start being annoyed by what your new girl doesn't have that your current one does. Or, you could be completely right and she is totally better for you.

Ultimately, I'd actually say go for it, because if you aren't really happy with your current girlfriend then that's the best choice. If it turns out to be a grass is greener thing, now you'll know in the future and won't be fooled by it again, whereas if you stay now, you'll never know if your concerns are really legitimate, which means they won't go away, which makes them legitimate anyway. I'd say your current relationship is basically dead on your side, and you're doing both of you a disservice by keeping it going.