Poll: This is whats wrong with Australia

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JWAN

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Aardvark said:
We punch kangaroos for sport. Orb Weavers are nothing. Any bird that gets caught by one deserves to be spiderfood.

The other day, my cat brought a live brown snake into my house. Incredibly venomous, incredibly dangerous, but that didn't stop me throwing the thing out again with my bare hands. That's the kind of shit we do down here.
Yea I go hiking a lot in the mountains and run into cottonmouth/rattle snakes on a regular basis, Im saying that a spider on this sheer scale is fucking crazy.

Of course the 13 ft Japanese crabs are a little unnerving (13ft from leg tip to leg tip thats like 4.5-5 meters)
 

bluepilot

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Jul 10, 2009
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FROGGEman2 said:
Pppph. Bloody wusses.

Also, some of this thread borders on blatant racism, but that pic is just an exception. Honestly, that spider is more confused than anything else.

Be scared of this.



As big as a fucking dinner plate.

Anyway, Africa (the whole continent) is a trillion times more dangerous than Australia.
I would marry the man who was brave and strong enough to get that out of the bath tub. I bet it hisses at you too.

I want to go to Australia one day but I would refuse to go into nature without a big strong Austrailian man to squish bugs and wrestle crocodiles for me.

All feminist principles become meaningless to me when there is a great big dirty hairy spider heading in my direction.

The Australian accent is sexy, so I think they can be forgiven for a few things.
 

sneakypenguin

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Ultrajoe said:
Man, that has nothing on the spine-chilling horror that is the Sydney Funnel Web. Still, I like that spider. It has guts, y'know? Takes balls to just rip a bird out of the sky, because 'screw you, physics'.
Isn't there also a "jumping funnel web" mmm nothing like a jumping critter with hemo and neurotoxins.
 

Bealzibob

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Jul 4, 2009
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Eh, I've lived in North Queensland all my life and i've never ha- JESUS CHRIST IT'S THE SPIDER, GET IN THE CAR!!!
 

FROGGEman2

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AWC Viper said:
FROGGEman2 said:
AWC Viper said:
FROGGEman2 said:
Anyway, Africa (the whole continent) is a trillion times more dangerous than Australia.
Yeah Right. we have the most venomous animals in this nation.
...What?

...W...Wha...

What?

OK. Define "nation".
The Great nation Of Australia.
So... we have the most dangerous animals in our own country.

Wait... did I miss some obvious sarcasm here?
 

Inco

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Sep 12, 2008
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JWAN said:
Inconsistancies Arise said:
A freak of nature maybe?
Its media exaggeration, i live in a suburban/bushland area and have never had any run ins with insects.
Dude, its eating a fucking pigeon
There is something called a bird-eating spider that has been around for a long time in various other countries (amazon forest in Africa i think) So either its one of them or its just a unnatural strain of another spider. It's no big deal.
 

AWC Viper

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Jun 12, 2008
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FROGGEman2 said:
AWC Viper said:
FROGGEman2 said:
AWC Viper said:
FROGGEman2 said:
Anyway, Africa (the whole continent) is a trillion times more dangerous than Australia.
Yeah Right. we have the most venomous animals in this nation.
...What?

...W...Wha...

What?

OK. Define "nation".
The Great nation Of Australia.
So... we have the most dangerous animals in our own country.

Wait... did I miss some obvious sarcasm here?
Africa is only dangerous because of the militia other than that it's less dangerous than Oz
 

u20363022

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Apr 29, 2009
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PFFFFT! I was gonna take this seriously, but dude, that's way up in Cairns. As in Queensland. As in RAINFOREST. You've gotta expect massive insects in places like that. You can come to the suburbs quite safely, we ain't got nothing but itty bitty jumping jacks.
 

Overlord2702

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May 27, 2009
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JWAN said:
Of course the 13 ft Japanese crabs are a little unnerving (13ft from leg tip to leg tip thats like 4.5-5 meters)
Like what a 13ft crab gonna do....

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/49/152097082_a0788d18af.jpg
 

Valkatron

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Apr 22, 2009
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You know, the funnel web spider can't move when its rearing on its hind legs, so you have a chance to move out of its strike range. The fans though can pierce through toe nails.

Australia is a great place, we need more people to come over, mainly of the female variety though!
 

TheRealCJ

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Mar 28, 2009
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We only have 9 out of 10 deadliest snakes in the world.

But we have nine of the top nine deadliest snakes.
 

LongAndShort

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May 11, 2009
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Fuck man, you tourists should see our drop-bears. They just fall from the trees and rip out your throats.

Goldern Orbs are great to have round the house, as are most Australian spiders, as they avoid humans generally and reduce the insect population (like flies and roaches). What you gotta watch out for are funnel-webs. Horrible things that kill alarmingly quickly.

But we survive and thrive down here. You guys saying how scared you are to visit simply need to harden the fuck up.
 

Daveman

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Jan 8, 2009
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oh, I was expecting something about them all being decended from convicts and retarded monkeys.
 

FROGGEman2

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Mar 14, 2009
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AWC Viper said:
FROGGEman2 said:
AWC Viper said:
FROGGEman2 said:
AWC Viper said:
FROGGEman2 said:
Anyway, Africa (the whole continent) is a trillion times more dangerous than Australia.
Yeah Right. we have the most venomous animals in this nation.
...What?

...W...Wha...

What?

OK. Define "nation".
The Great nation Of Australia.
So... we have the most dangerous animals in our own country.

Wait... did I miss some obvious sarcasm here?
Africa is only dangerous because of the militia other than that it's less dangerous than Oz
...Oh really.

Africanized Honey Bee (Apis mellifera scutellata)


From:
South and Central America, the American Southwest

Why you must fear it:
You know how you can spot one of these? You can't. There is no physical way to determine the difference between an Africanized bee and a common European bee. None whatsoever.

You can, however, easily tell the difference based on their behavior. Regular bees will give you about nine seconds of being too close to the hive before deciding you're a threat and then attacking you. So it's pretty easy to just walk past them without any screams. And if you do get them after you, they'll consider you to be 'chased off' after about 300 feet.



Africanized bees do not roll this way. They give you half a second of being too close before they decide it is time to completely fuck your shit up and empty the entire hive--tens, maybe hundreds of thousands of angry, angry bees. When you run, flailing and crying and soiling yourself while screaming "JESUS CHRIST I'M COVERED IN BEES," they will chase you for over half a mile.



More scary shit:
Africanized bees owe their existence to science. Warwick E. Kerr created them in Brazil during the 1950s by crossing a European bee with an African bee. He wanted a bee that could live in the jungle. He got a bee that swarms by the hundreds of millions, is insanely territorial, mindlessly aggressive, has killed anywhere from a few dozen to a few thousand people. And, can live in the jungle.

And after they escaped and swarmed northward, it turned out they were a-OK with deserts, too. They'll be in Montana by 2010.

Army or Soldier Ant (Eciton burchellii)


From:
The Amazon Basin. There's other subfamilies living in Asia and Africa, but these are the most notorious.

Why you must fear it:
By now, you will not be surprised to hear that these ants are, in fact, fucking huge, with the soldiers reaching a half inch in length. You will also not be surprised to learn that they have massive, powerful, machete-like jaws half the length of the soldiers themselves. They're notorious for dismantling any living thing in their path, regardless of size. They're also completely blind, which for some reason makes the whole thing worse.



They're called 'Army' ants because their entire colony, comprising up to and over one million insects, is a 100 percent mobile battalion. They don't make permanent hives like other ants, no, they bivouac down in single locations just long enough for the queen to shit out thousands of eggs, while the soldiers spread out in wide fans daily in search of food ("food" here, means "anything moving"). Then the eggs hatch and they enter the dreaded swarm phase of their existence.



Much like the word "killer," nature takes words like "dreaded" and "swarm" very, very seriously. They carefully pick up their larvae and go on the move, a near-solid mass of insect death and horror moving steadily and swiftly along the jungle floor, flaying alive and disassembling every living thing too stupid, slow or asleep to get the living fuck out of the way. There is no talk of painful stingers or ballistic acid here, no, this is terror of a far more primordial nature--the kind that simply flows over you by the hundreds of thousands and rips you apart with massive, unbelievably powerful jaws, utterly and literally blind to size and species, considering everything in their path to be a threat to the continuation of their colony.

There are reports of animals the size of horses being overwhelmed and shredded by them. Go stand next to a horse and then think about what that means for you.

More scary shit:
Army Ants are masters of wholly-organic, living architecture. For the good of the colony, the ants will use their own living bodies to build any conceivable structure necessary, latching on to each other foot-to-foot to create protective walls and ceilings against the ravages of the weather, bridges to cross otherwise impassable spans, whatever happens to be needed. (Can they form themselves into a crude catapult mechanism and launch themselves at prey? Not yet.)

There is no other living thing in the entire world that does this.

And, they're blind.

SOURCE
 

Syntax Error

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Sep 7, 2008
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Aardvark said:
We punch kangaroos for sport. Orb Weavers are nothing. Any bird that gets caught by one deserves to be spiderfood.

The other day, my cat brought a live brown snake into my house. Incredibly venomous, incredibly dangerous, but that didn't stop me throwing the thing out again with my bare hands. That's the kind of shit we do down here.
Now I understand how Steve Irwin can do the things he did. God, rest his soul.
 

SaunaKalja

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Sep 18, 2009
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TankCopter said:
Oh, I have one of them in my yard. They're kinda cute, really. Completely harmless to people, good for getting rid of pesky bugs.
And birds, apparently.

I could never coexist with a creature like that. I'd kill and burn it, or die trying.
 

WhiteTiger225

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Aug 6, 2009
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JWAN said:
How do you live in Australia anyway? Your bug zappers are probably 16 ft tall Tesla coils with 60,000 volts running through them.
When I go to Australia will they let me bring a handgun and a thermite grenade?
Lol didn't they do that on Earth VS Spider, the Testla coil thing? (Only know of that movie thanks to MST3k XD)

also when I tried to vote, I got this :p

Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /sixpack/web_ramdisk/sites/global/classes/class.ims_polls.inc on line 426

So my argument is invalid...
 

WhiteTiger225

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Aug 6, 2009
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FROGGEman2 said:
More scary shit:
Army Ants are masters of wholly-organic, living architecture. For the good of the colony, the ants will use their own living bodies to build any conceivable structure necessary, latching on to each other foot-to-foot to create protective walls and ceilings against the ravages of the weather, bridges to cross otherwise impassable spans, whatever happens to be needed. (Can they form themselves into a crude catapult mechanism and launch themselves at prey? Not yet.)

There is no other living thing in the entire world that does this.

And, they're blind.

SOURCE
Whats scarier? They will drown many of their soldiers in order to create a floating isle of ants...

Another scary critter... The Man-O-War jelly fish.. so big, you can go for a dive into the water, and come up underneath one... *Shudders*
 

Hitman 43

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Jun 6, 2009
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JWAN said:
As you can see in the picture, the spider is clearly the size of a small car.
Unless it's eating an ostridge, which it isn't, it's not the size of a small car. Stop exaggerating and calm down.

I don't believe it's real anyway. Pay attention to the grey skin on it's body. And why didn't the person who took the photo get a picture on the other side of the spider? Because it's fake. Why didn't they take MORE pictures? Because it's fake.