Poll: This is whats wrong with Australia

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Red|Zombie

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Nov 8, 2009
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I actually shot a giant huntsman with a shotgun once, no way I was going to try to step on it (it was bigger than my foot and moved like greased lightning).

We get lots of big spiders out where I hunt, if one jumps onto your back while walking through scrub it feels like someones thrown a rock at you.
 

Ushario

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Mar 6, 2009
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Old news, this stuff gets posted up every month. I'm an Aussie and lived where those spiders are common, I have also lived where red backs and funnel webs are common (some of the most dangerous spiders in the world).

That spider can inflict an annoying bite and nothing more, the worst risk is infection.
They rarely eat birds, they prefer lizards and insects.

Edit: the guy above me doesn't have a clue, 'bigger than my foot'. Huntsmans are smaller than the palm of your hand.
 

lenneth

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Aug 17, 2008
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BonsaiK said:
It's the smaller spiders in Australia you got to watch though. Check out http://www.spiders.com.au/ for more info on which ones can kill you in under an hour.
god dammit why did i click that, WHY!?
im now in my chair sitting like L and am paranoid

that page alone scared me more than anything else the internet has thrown at me (and i visit 4chan frequently)
 

BonsaiK

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Nov 14, 2007
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lenneth said:
BonsaiK said:
It's the smaller spiders in Australia you got to watch though. Check out http://www.spiders.com.au/ for more info on which ones can kill you in under an hour.
god dammit why did i click that, WHY!?
im now in my chair sitting like L and am paranoid

that page alone scared me more than anything else the internet has thrown at me (and i visit 4chan frequently)
Oh gosh, I'm sorry about that. I liked the bit about the funnel webs survivng for days in backyard pools though... imagine going for a swim in your backyard and then suddenly you feel something on your ankle... sorry that's not helping, is it.

No-one has died from spider bite in Australia in ages though, so don't worry. Ugly bite, yes. Rushed to hospital in agony and then antivenom applied, yes, Big wounds with necrotic tissue and rotting flesh, yes. Death, not since the 1950s if I recall correctly. I hope that makes you feel slightly more at ease.
 

RYNO

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Nov 6, 2009
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RedPandaMan said:
But, seriously, even though I wanted to go to Australia, all these deadly insects are one of the things holding me back.
Really? What size skirt do you wear?

I live on acreage (2 acres of bush, 2 acres of clean land), out of suburbia and would see maybe... A few spiders and 1 snake a year. If that. The trapdoor spiders are the ones you gotta watch.

We have the best beaches in the world. Its worth the trade for having the odd weird animal.
 

Brownie101

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Feb 10, 2009
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Deadly insects are only a problem here if you plan to take more than 5 steps away from your house in any given direction. It's ok...You're usually safe for the first 5 steps...Right?

In all seriousness, I have never come into contact with any of these menaces. They may be big, scary, ugly, venomous and enough to make Schwarzenegger cry from their bite (I honestly don't know if he would. Don't hold me to this. He just makes a good example and I'm currently typing when I should be sleeping.)but they are rare.

Go on, come on over to AUS and if the snakes don't kill you...The spiders might. Or the Birds. Or insects. Or...
*Is taken by the Australian Government for de-promoting tourism*.

No...Join us...It's Lovely...
 

bobknowsall

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Aug 21, 2009
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Jesus H. Christ... That spider manages to be both freaky and ridiculously awesome(Normally I'd be a bit more eloquent about it, but it's a bit early in the day for that, hah). And yes, the similarity to the bugs from Starship Troopers is rather uncanny. I've heard about spiders like this before, but I've never seen them in the act of eating a bird twice their size. I am quite impressed.
 

CouchCommando

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Apr 24, 2008
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Yeah we've got some big spiders and pretty poisonous snakes, but you've gotta be pretty damn unlucky, they're usually freaked out by humans and bolt before you even see them. You think a bird catching spiders weird take a look at a platypus for f**ks sake they still freak me out every time I see them.
 

ethaninja

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Oct 14, 2009
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JWAN said:
This is, by far, the scariest thing I have seen in a long long time. So in Australia they have a spider (golden orb weaver, NOT a tarantula) that can make a web that's strong enough to catch birds, then it destroys the bird by eating it. This could only be more epic if it killed the bird by tea bagging it to death.
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24540399-5009760,00.html
As you can see in the picture, the spider is clearly the size of a small car. This isn't a one time deal either, the people who owned this home have seen this spider kill AGAIN.

The only interaction I have seen in my country between spiders and birds is when a bird is hungry it will chomp the spiders down whole. So when I saw the picture, I crapped my pants so hard I blew a hole in the bottom of my chair.

People often ask why I own guns, now all I have to do is show a picture of this spider and it practically justifies itself. Watch "Starship Troopers" look at the similarities of body color and shape.
http://www.vfs.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/star1.gif

How do you live in Australia anyway? Your bug zappers are probably 16 ft tall Tesla coils with 60,000 volts running through them.
When I go to Australia will they let me bring a handgun and a thermite grenade?
I live in Australia, and thats not whats wrong with it. Trust me on that one.
 

CouchCommando

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Apr 24, 2008
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Silva said:
I've lived in reasonably rural areas (you know, with primary schools that have 30 students enrolled overall), as well as more populated places in Australia. Ultimately, my experience is that if you live in even somewhat populated areas, you will run into very little of this nature.

It does also depend on your house, if it is insulated/built properly, which keeps bugs from crawling in at every orifice. If you're living in a caravan... well, let's just say I once stayed in a caravan in the same fairly populated yet still rural area that I live, and we had THREE giant spiders in the room with us later at night. None of us slept until they were gone. (We had no idea what breed they were, but they could have easily been harmless huntsmans.)

Really, if you're an American or to a lesser extent British, you might freak out in rural areas here because in Australia "rural" can mean anything from "no one else lives close for 40 kilometres, and that's just a gas station" to a population of 20,000. The former, which Americans for the most part would not have experienced at all thanks to heavy urbanisation in their country, would be scary for other reasons (I've seen people scared about not having a supermarket nearby, and I tell you what, they get rare in some places. And video game stores? If you need them, stay away from central Australia... except Alice Springs.) That makes you twice as paranoid about bugs, but that's not often a justified approach.

Anyway, the risks in living here where any of the people are (mostly on the East Coast) are really low. Yes, a spider that eats birds. You know what? It'd have some difficulty with a human. That's not just a typically Australian blasé attitude speaking, but a serious fact. People freak out too much about spiders, and often they're not even a breed you SHOULD be careful with (by the way, freaking out is the worst way to BE careful). Poisonous ones like the funnel web (look it up, or read the thread), now they're a more pertinent issue. Unless you're a bird.

Even more pertinent than spiders or other fauna, though: the road. Seriously, some of our highways are atrocious. Not because they're half-repaired or anything, we're rich enough as a country to keep them fixed and everything. But the planning is terrible, people die over and over on the same well-known spots because there's blind angles and turnoffs all the time.

Rolling Thunder said:
AWC Viper said:
Africa is only dangerous because of the militia other than that it's less dangerous than Oz
You have clearly never been charged by an elephant, sir.
Or more harmfully, the rhinoceros. Which kills far more people than just about anything else in Africa, by memory.
The Hipppo isn't it?
 

blanksmyname

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Aug 2, 2009
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Oh yeah. We have something like the top ten deadliest snakes in the world and the top 5 deadliest spiders. We also have the top 20 deadliest birds (that bird the spider was eating can actually shatter glass with its mating call), top 3 deadliest badgers and the top 17 deadliest tourists. Or is it an average 17 dead tourists each year? Oh well.

Let's not forget those dragons. You thought you killed them off in Europe, but they all flew here. Giant, flying, fire breathing dinosaurs people. And every now and then one of their Asian relatives get through the border and cause a fair bit of death. Dragons are deadly.

My point is that people die in this country, like all the time. That's why our population is so small compared to other country. Every moment in life is a desparate struggle for survival and some serious lovemaking in order to increase the population. The easy life you see in America is why they don't have an SAS unit, they're not badass enough for it. UK is filled with badgers and NZ has to battle the lava monsters that spawn from all the volcanoes they have there which is why they have SAS aswell.

Life is hard here, so you have to be tough. I've seen a woman 8 months pregnant beat a crocodile to death with her bare hands. You can't ever stop for the baby, otherwise you'll both die.

Seriously, come to Australia. It's so much fun.
 

anaphysik

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Nov 5, 2008
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Awwww! Who's a badass spider! Yes you are![/kitten response]
I seriously have friends that would love to visit Australia after hearing this news. That spider is pretty damn awesome. I certainly wouldn't mind one of those around where I live to clear out those nasty squirrels. (Spiders eat a lot of pests. Squirrels just jump out of trash cans at you, and leer a lot.)

CouchCommando said:
Silva said:
Or more harmfully, the rhinoceros. Which kills far more people than just about anything else in Africa, by memory.
The Hipppo isn't it?
I too thought it was the hippo. Those things can be downright vicious.
 

shannon.archer

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Mar 10, 2009
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JWAN said:
pfft... we see those things all the time. If your careful enough you can pet them :p Either way the rule in Australia is the bigger the better. Smaller they are the more deadly they are.
 

shannon.archer

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Mar 10, 2009
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blanksmyname said:
Oh yeah. We have something like the top ten deadliest sankes in the world and the top 5 deadliest snakes. We also have the top 20 deadliest birds (that bird the spider was eating can acutally shatter glass with its mating call), top 3 deadliest badgers and the top 17 deadliest tourists. Or is it an average 17 dead tourists each year? Oh well.

Let's not forget those dragons. You thought you killed them off in Europe, but they all flew here. Giant, flying, fire breathing dinosaurs people. And every now and then one of their Asian relatives get through the border and cause a fair bit of death. Dragons are deadly.

My point is that people die in this country, like all the time. That's why our population is so small compared to other country. Every moment in life is a desparate struggle for survival and some serious lovemaking in order to increase the population. The easy life you see in America is why they don't have an SAS unit, they're not badass enoguh for it. UK is filled with badgers and NZ has to battle the lava monsters that spawn from all the volcanoes they have there which is why they have SAS aswell.

Life is hard here, so you have to be tough. I've seen a woman 8 months pregnant beat a crocodile to death with her bare hands. You can't ever stop for the baby, otherwise you'll both die.

Seriously, come to Australia. It's so much fun.
You are officially my most favourite Aussie right now :p
 

Ocelot GT

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Oct 29, 2009
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Don't forget the white tip spider we have, which causes necrosis in the limb it bites and makes your flesh rot off.
 

joshthor

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Aug 18, 2009
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There is a common fact that you eat 8 spiders in one year. imagine in australia if even one of those 8 is that spider! yuck!