Poll: Times you've gone temporarily insane
- Thread starter Korak the Mad
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I had to retake a math FINAL FUCKING EXAM once. I really, really hate math. About half way through, though, I stopped feeling mad or stressed. I was perfectly calm. I stopped writing, handed in the test, and left. I was weirdly happy the rest of the week.
On another note, I briefly had MPD, but I got mostly over it.
On another note, I briefly had MPD, but I got mostly over it.
Temporarily... what is this word? I do not feel my insanity in this manner.
When I start talking, sometimes I don't stop and get carried away even when no-one is listening. And I talk to my cats, they stare at me like I am the insane one...
When I start talking, sometimes I don't stop and get carried away even when no-one is listening. And I talk to my cats, they stare at me like I am the insane one...
I've had times where i've had what can only be described as complete momentary amnesia. I could be talking to someone, or walking somewhere, and all of a sudden i won't know where i am, who i am, who the people i'm talking to are or even what i was saying. It's a horrible feeling, like one of those dreams where you're talking to your boss or something and you look down and you're naked. The confusion feels like it lasts forever, but in reality, it's over in about five minutes or so.
In times of extreme depression i enter dialogue with myself. For example, if i avoid something or someone that's causing me intense stress and anxiety, i get a slight numbing sensation and whisper things to myself like "It's good you didn't see that person / do that thing. You know you're useless. It's better for everyone if you just hide, don't draw attention to yourself. You know i'm right." Sometimes i don't even realise i'm whispering to myself, it feels like someone else saying these things to me. Sometimes i try to retort and argue with the voice. Although i know that he's generally always right, whether i want to admit it or not.
I don't know if suddenly not knowing who or where i am and having this 'voice' or 'other person' are connected.
In times of extreme depression i enter dialogue with myself. For example, if i avoid something or someone that's causing me intense stress and anxiety, i get a slight numbing sensation and whisper things to myself like "It's good you didn't see that person / do that thing. You know you're useless. It's better for everyone if you just hide, don't draw attention to yourself. You know i'm right." Sometimes i don't even realise i'm whispering to myself, it feels like someone else saying these things to me. Sometimes i try to retort and argue with the voice. Although i know that he's generally always right, whether i want to admit it or not.
I don't know if suddenly not knowing who or where i am and having this 'voice' or 'other person' are connected.
I generally tend to start behaving oddly when I've been deprived of enough sleep. Not just cranky, but distinctly oddly.
As for temporary and complete different mental state...I don't know if that counts from the above, but I'm aware that I may unconsciously have lapsed into this in the past.
As for temporary and complete different mental state...I don't know if that counts from the above, but I'm aware that I may unconsciously have lapsed into this in the past.
I don't know if that counts, but when someone of my friends tries to wake me up, they never quite reach ME. Instead, they end up reasoning with an entity which is not good to negotiate with. They tell me that it has a very aggressive undertone, shouts and blurs out insults in Russian and that it once even slapped a guy just to preserve my sleep. I do not seem to be present, nor do I have any memories about such happenings, so I have to take my friends' word for that. I would say when I sleep, and someone tries to reach me, then only the IT-portion of my consciousness is on the phone.
While i was in hospital post surgery, the only times i was allowed to sleep was 12AM until 5AM each day and even then they perform blood pressure tests on you and ask you questions every 10 cocking minutes.
If anyone asks me "who the damn Prime Minister is" again i will lamp them posthaste!
Basically no sleep or sources of entertainment for a week and a half, while coming off general anesthetic. Yeah i was pretty fucked up at that time.
If anyone asks me "who the damn Prime Minister is" again i will lamp them posthaste!
Basically no sleep or sources of entertainment for a week and a half, while coming off general anesthetic. Yeah i was pretty fucked up at that time.
i have this constant feeling in the back of my head that someday, someday, im just gonna lose it, like i will go completely insane. i feel like theres some string there thats just ready to snap. i do write poetry that helps me to relax about it and use it for my advantage.
Not too sure if this counts, but I have little patience with my friends. I often lose all my faith in them and start thinking how better off I would be alone with no friends. I once got so angry for no reason, so I stood up in the middle of a conversation with my friends and just ran home, claiming I didn't want to talk to them. Needless to say, they were very shocked, but I lied to them the next day that I had just been joking, trying to shock them. I still have no idea what got into me.
Anything that could mark me as temporarily insane is really piss weak compared to the other things here. Whenever I start talking to some people I will instantly get a mental image of me either kissing or stabbing them (sometimes both, and the gender is irregardless). A few years ago, I had to play Chaos Legion in class for a video project, and I had trouble with this plant boss. On the 10th attempt I was one hit away from killing it and I died. I spent a LONG time trying to beat this boss. My brain just started going nuts, and as I slumped at the desk, I started laughing (strangely similar to Light Yagami at the end of Death Note) going to this insane cackle...it was odd.
Most people take that as a I should get this checked out kinda thing. All the better for you if you're making deals with it though!Korak the Mad said:
I remember snapping at work once, due to an idiotic assistant manager, and it being a sunday in store in the run up to xmas, and a ton of people calling in sick.
He did just about everything to stop us actually selling stuff, continually calling one of the two people in away from the tills to do pointless tidying or display work, we constantly protested that perhaps we should be serving customers and selling things, 'you know, as we work in a SHOP!' but it was to no avail.
Fortunately as the queues got greater, one of the regular customers went over to him and said something along the lines 'oi mate, why don't you quit what you're doing and try helping your guys deal with the queues?' and he seemed to actually remember what shops are supposed to do for a while.
After telling us that we're not getting lunch breaks, cos there aren't enough staff, and both of us telling him we're going home and he can run the place on his own, we got our breaks, but both ran out one at a time and covered each other, taking about 20 mins instead of the hour, because despite him we actually cared about our store and the customers, and then closing time came around, and time to prepare for the new releases of Monday morning before we could go home.
At this point he said a multitude of borderline neanderthal things involving our lack of dedication, work ethic and other shit, and I went silent and walked away.
He then found me banging my head against a wall going 'make him go away, make it stop make it stop', and said nothing, just walked away.
We get everything done, staying over time, despite him, as we don't want to make monday morning shitty for our mates.
I come in Monday morning and the area manager's in, turns out to call me into a disciplinary meeting for 'affecting staff morale'.
Trouble was, I was so genuinely shocked at how that shit had twisted everything that I couldn't speak, I just say there mouth open while they read all these fabricated charges.
I then walked away with a black mark on my record and the twat probably got a bonus for being even more of a c*** that expected.
I'd like to say it had a happy ending, but as far as I know he wasn't hit by a car.
He did just about everything to stop us actually selling stuff, continually calling one of the two people in away from the tills to do pointless tidying or display work, we constantly protested that perhaps we should be serving customers and selling things, 'you know, as we work in a SHOP!' but it was to no avail.
Fortunately as the queues got greater, one of the regular customers went over to him and said something along the lines 'oi mate, why don't you quit what you're doing and try helping your guys deal with the queues?' and he seemed to actually remember what shops are supposed to do for a while.
After telling us that we're not getting lunch breaks, cos there aren't enough staff, and both of us telling him we're going home and he can run the place on his own, we got our breaks, but both ran out one at a time and covered each other, taking about 20 mins instead of the hour, because despite him we actually cared about our store and the customers, and then closing time came around, and time to prepare for the new releases of Monday morning before we could go home.
At this point he said a multitude of borderline neanderthal things involving our lack of dedication, work ethic and other shit, and I went silent and walked away.
He then found me banging my head against a wall going 'make him go away, make it stop make it stop', and said nothing, just walked away.
We get everything done, staying over time, despite him, as we don't want to make monday morning shitty for our mates.
I come in Monday morning and the area manager's in, turns out to call me into a disciplinary meeting for 'affecting staff morale'.
Trouble was, I was so genuinely shocked at how that shit had twisted everything that I couldn't speak, I just say there mouth open while they read all these fabricated charges.
I then walked away with a black mark on my record and the twat probably got a bonus for being even more of a c*** that expected.
I'd like to say it had a happy ending, but as far as I know he wasn't hit by a car.
I only ever go 'insane', in the sense of properly crazy, where I abandon rational sense or decisions completely and all that jazz is when I'm under stress.
To give you an idea of how bad he was, we used to have a game to pass the time called 'how would you kill x?' where we'd try to think ever more delightful ways to slowly and painfully help him release his grip on existence.
Two I remember coming up with was 'Disembowelment by bowling ball, because it'd take so long to break him open like a pinata, with such a blunt object, it'd involve shattering his rib cage then smashing the pieces thru him until his torso just fell apart like a rotten dishcloth'.
Secondly was 'Death by giant orbital sander, tie him up and slowly lower him onto a rapidly spinning disc of sandpaper, feet first, but because that's far too merciful, make the disc out of salt instead of sand.'
That's the kind of thing he did to my head.
We all really liked our job and the store, and the customers and even our main manager, but this guy lived to suck the very joy from everything that ever was.
If there was him, Simon Cowell, and Piers Morgan in a room with me and I had a gun and only two bullets, I'd be seriously torn as to who I got to beat to death with the gun.
Two I remember coming up with was 'Disembowelment by bowling ball, because it'd take so long to break him open like a pinata, with such a blunt object, it'd involve shattering his rib cage then smashing the pieces thru him until his torso just fell apart like a rotten dishcloth'.
Secondly was 'Death by giant orbital sander, tie him up and slowly lower him onto a rapidly spinning disc of sandpaper, feet first, but because that's far too merciful, make the disc out of salt instead of sand.'
That's the kind of thing he did to my head.
We all really liked our job and the store, and the customers and even our main manager, but this guy lived to suck the very joy from everything that ever was.
If there was him, Simon Cowell, and Piers Morgan in a room with me and I had a gun and only two bullets, I'd be seriously torn as to who I got to beat to death with the gun.
There aren't things that happen "one after another". It's just life. I realized that recently. It all depends on how you look at things. Like if you feel like you miss the train by just a couple of minutes every time you take it. It's probably because you don't realize all the times you've gotten it just at the last second.SckizoBoy said:
Hugs mate! *tight virtual hug*