Poll: was i out of line?

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monkey_man

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I say you were perfectly within reason. They broke your stuff, and quite a lot of stuff, and you showed them you didn't like them without bludgeoning them to death or something. Kids these days, sheesh
 

Galaktia

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Jul 4, 2010
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See Disciplining children used to be a communal thing here in the uk, (i am talking a couple of decades ago) if you saw the neighbours kid miss behaving you gave them a telling off, and as was appropriate at that time a smack and then dragged them home to receive it again from their parents.

Now while I don't agree with physical punishment, I do think that the new wave of "only I can punish them cause they are my children" mentality has lead to some of the lack of respect issues in modern childrne. Because no one is willing to 'step on the parents toes' they know they only way they get punished is if the person who catches them, can convince their parents they did something wrong. It makes it easier for them to believe they can get away with it and reduces the immediacy of corrections.

While I don't agree with inflicting pain to dicipline I don't think you were out of line personally.
 

Yosato

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Delsana said:
stonethered said:
Delsana said:
stonethered said:
I don't think you were, not even for the ear twisting (which frankly sounds totally situationally appropriate, and is exactly how it would have happened if it had been a movie). Kids should have known better than to trespass, assuming they knew it was someone's property. Lady shouldn't have yelled at you for it, but her reaction is quite understandable. She was angry, and probably a bit scared about what you were doing; odds are nobody has ever actually laid hands on her kids before (and I'd say that after trespassing and vandalizing your private property, somebody probably ought to).

Could you have handled it better? Yeah, you could have just tracked down their parents and courteously requested compensation. But at the same time, your actions will have a rather more lasting impact on all of them. And you didn't try to kill anyone, or cause permanent harm. Nobody was threatened. And everything was paid for. As long as there's no legal problems, I'd say you did fine.
Legally, it was child abuse.

There's a very big legal problem here.

Again, I sense hypocrisy for everyone forgetting what happened when they were young kid...
Depends on the region.
And by legal problems, I mean depending on whether anyone wanted to press charges. Generally, the police don't fuss with things unless people take issue with them.

And what exactly is it that we're all forgetting here?
You guys all broke things when you were really young, or your parents did, and you didn't want to take responsibility and you fled... and now look at you all taking issue with it and acting as if it's the worst thing ever and punishment ever made you stop.. bahaha such hypocrisy.
Uhh, not really. Now you're just making false assumptions. I agree that trespassing on someone's garden to get a football is something kids do - there's no harm done in it really, but if I know that if I broke someone's window I'd still tell them, even as a child.
 

Delsana

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Aug 16, 2011
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Yosato said:
Delsana said:
stonethered said:
Delsana said:
stonethered said:
I don't think you were, not even for the ear twisting (which frankly sounds totally situationally appropriate, and is exactly how it would have happened if it had been a movie). Kids should have known better than to trespass, assuming they knew it was someone's property. Lady shouldn't have yelled at you for it, but her reaction is quite understandable. She was angry, and probably a bit scared about what you were doing; odds are nobody has ever actually laid hands on her kids before (and I'd say that after trespassing and vandalizing your private property, somebody probably ought to).

Could you have handled it better? Yeah, you could have just tracked down their parents and courteously requested compensation. But at the same time, your actions will have a rather more lasting impact on all of them. And you didn't try to kill anyone, or cause permanent harm. Nobody was threatened. And everything was paid for. As long as there's no legal problems, I'd say you did fine.
Legally, it was child abuse.

There's a very big legal problem here.

Again, I sense hypocrisy for everyone forgetting what happened when they were young kid...
Depends on the region.
And by legal problems, I mean depending on whether anyone wanted to press charges. Generally, the police don't fuss with things unless people take issue with them.

And what exactly is it that we're all forgetting here?
You guys all broke things when you were really young, or your parents did, and you didn't want to take responsibility and you fled... and now look at you all taking issue with it and acting as if it's the worst thing ever and punishment ever made you stop.. bahaha such hypocrisy.
Uhh, not really. Now you're just making false assumptions. I agree that trespassing on someone's garden to get a football is something kids do - there's no harm done in it really, but if I know that if I broke someone's window I'd still tell them, even as a child.
You can't say now what you'd in the past, because you have a different mentality. Nice try but not slip-stream logic for you.

The funniest thing about these posts is that they think it will resonate with the kids because they felt some pain or felt bad? Hah. They will either resent the guy, or they will make fun of him.. might even just ignore it. Thinking one bad situation is going to imprint them is just ignorant.
 

stonethered

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Mar 3, 2009
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Delsana said:
stonethered said:
Delsana said:
stonethered said:
I don't think you were, not even for the ear twisting (which frankly sounds totally situationally appropriate, and is exactly how it would have happened if it had been a movie). Kids should have known better than to trespass, assuming they knew it was someone's property. Lady shouldn't have yelled at you for it, but her reaction is quite understandable. She was angry, and probably a bit scared about what you were doing; odds are nobody has ever actually laid hands on her kids before (and I'd say that after trespassing and vandalizing your private property, somebody probably ought to).

Could you have handled it better? Yeah, you could have just tracked down their parents and courteously requested compensation. But at the same time, your actions will have a rather more lasting impact on all of them. And you didn't try to kill anyone, or cause permanent harm. Nobody was threatened. And everything was paid for. As long as there's no legal problems, I'd say you did fine.
Legally, it was child abuse.

There's a very big legal problem here.

Again, I sense hypocrisy for everyone forgetting what happened when they were young kid...
Depends on the region.
And by legal problems, I mean depending on whether anyone wanted to press charges. Generally, the police don't fuss with things unless people take issue with them.

And what exactly is it that we're all forgetting here?
You guys all broke things when you were really young, or your parents did, and you didn't want to take responsibility and you fled... and now look at you all taking issue with it and acting as if it's the worst thing ever and punishment ever made you stop.. bahaha such hypocrisy.
Right, but we got caught, we got punished, and we were forced to take responsibility for ourselves. What they did is not the worst thing ever, its not good, but nobody's dead or psychologically scarred. But I'm glad to hear that they got caught, they got punished, and someone took responsibility for it. Maybe one of these days they'll shape up to be decent, responsible adults like many of the other kids who did stupid things and got punished. But one thing's for sure, if they don't get punished then they probably won't learn to behave themselves.

And Punishment did, usually, make me stop.
 

srm79

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Jan 31, 2010
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Absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's precisely because so many people think that any form of corporeal punishment against kids is abhorrent that we have an entire generation of self entitled young adults with no respect for authority, other people or property and a belief that they really can do as they wish because the worst punishment their parents ever gave them was a "time out" or something similarly useless.

There's a difference between abuse and punishment.
 

Delsana

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Aug 16, 2011
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Galaktia said:
See Disciplining children used to be a communal thing here in the uk, (i am talking a couple of decades ago) if you saw the neighbours kid miss behaving you gave them a telling off, and as was appropriate at that time a smack and then dragged them home to receive it again from their parents.

Now while I don't agree with physical punishment, I do think that the new wave of "only I can punish them cause they are my children" mentality has lead to some of the lack of respect issues in modern childrne. Because no one is willing to 'step on the parents toes' they know they only way they get punished is if the person who catches them, can convince their parents they did something wrong. It makes it easier for them to believe they can get away with it and reduces the immediacy of corrections.

While I don't agree with inflicting pain to dicipline I don't think you were out of line personally.
I disagree completely. The thing that has prevented a lack of respect is just the continual lack of maturity that continues down the line. We see kids doing drugs at younger ages, we see them smoking at younger ages, cursing at younger ages, being disrespectful at younger ages... it's because public education has gotten worse not better, and because society as a whole for each generation raises the level of maturity in the sense that what maturity a person might have at 16 for this generation, will be 18 for the next and so and so forth. In visa-verse, it works too, for the negative stuff.
 

Delsana

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Aug 16, 2011
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stonethered said:
Delsana said:
stonethered said:
Delsana said:
stonethered said:
I don't think you were, not even for the ear twisting (which frankly sounds totally situationally appropriate, and is exactly how it would have happened if it had been a movie). Kids should have known better than to trespass, assuming they knew it was someone's property. Lady shouldn't have yelled at you for it, but her reaction is quite understandable. She was angry, and probably a bit scared about what you were doing; odds are nobody has ever actually laid hands on her kids before (and I'd say that after trespassing and vandalizing your private property, somebody probably ought to).

Could you have handled it better? Yeah, you could have just tracked down their parents and courteously requested compensation. But at the same time, your actions will have a rather more lasting impact on all of them. And you didn't try to kill anyone, or cause permanent harm. Nobody was threatened. And everything was paid for. As long as there's no legal problems, I'd say you did fine.
Legally, it was child abuse.

There's a very big legal problem here.

Again, I sense hypocrisy for everyone forgetting what happened when they were young kid...
Depends on the region.
And by legal problems, I mean depending on whether anyone wanted to press charges. Generally, the police don't fuss with things unless people take issue with them.

And what exactly is it that we're all forgetting here?
You guys all broke things when you were really young, or your parents did, and you didn't want to take responsibility and you fled... and now look at you all taking issue with it and acting as if it's the worst thing ever and punishment ever made you stop.. bahaha such hypocrisy.
Right, but we got caught, we got punished, and we were forced to take responsibility for ourselves. What they did is not the worst thing ever, its not good, but nobody's dead or psychologically scarred. But I'm glad to hear that they got caught, they got punished, and someone took responsibility for it. Maybe one of these days they'll shape up to be decent, responsible adults like many of the other kids who did stupid things and got punished. But one thing's for sure, if they don't get punished then they probably won't learn to behave themselves.

And Punishment did, usually, make me stop.
Punishment doesn't stop things, it makes you get better at hiding it. Your "usually" indicates this. It's not punishment that gives you self-introspection, it's maturity and development of self through experiences based on your own capacity and capabilities and drives. Not the forced drives of others.
 

Frostbyte666

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Nov 27, 2010
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I believe you have done the right thing since children aren't disciplined enough these days and seem to be treated like bubble rapped glass. Now the mother completely overreacted and seems the type to believe her little darlings can do no wrong, whereas the father sounds like someone who understands that sometimes to properly discipline a child they need a clip round the earhole.

Before aqny person tries to accuse me of being a terrible person I will say this, I have been in the position of those 2 kids before only after the ear twisting I was frogmarched to my house and when my parents saw the position I was in they asked quite calmly what happened. They paid for the damages and then I had the ear cuffing and sent to bed without dinner not so much for the damages but more for trying to hide from responsibility. Know what I learned from that day?

Now looking back I would say that had a hell of an effect on my upbringing and made me far more responsible with my actions, if all I had was just words then I doubt the lesson will have sunk in, are people familiar with the term in 1 ear out the other?

To the OT I will say that if I was in your position I would have done the same and if I was in the kids fathers position I would have respected your actions.
 

stonethered

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Mar 3, 2009
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Delsana said:
Yosato said:
Delsana said:
stonethered said:
Delsana said:
stonethered said:
I don't think you were, not even for the ear twisting (which frankly sounds totally situationally appropriate, and is exactly how it would have happened if it had been a movie). Kids should have known better than to trespass, assuming they knew it was someone's property. Lady shouldn't have yelled at you for it, but her reaction is quite understandable. She was angry, and probably a bit scared about what you were doing; odds are nobody has ever actually laid hands on her kids before (and I'd say that after trespassing and vandalizing your private property, somebody probably ought to).

Could you have handled it better? Yeah, you could have just tracked down their parents and courteously requested compensation. But at the same time, your actions will have a rather more lasting impact on all of them. And you didn't try to kill anyone, or cause permanent harm. Nobody was threatened. And everything was paid for. As long as there's no legal problems, I'd say you did fine.
Legally, it was child abuse.

There's a very big legal problem here.

Again, I sense hypocrisy for everyone forgetting what happened when they were young kid...
Depends on the region.
And by legal problems, I mean depending on whether anyone wanted to press charges. Generally, the police don't fuss with things unless people take issue with them.

And what exactly is it that we're all forgetting here?
You guys all broke things when you were really young, or your parents did, and you didn't want to take responsibility and you fled... and now look at you all taking issue with it and acting as if it's the worst thing ever and punishment ever made you stop.. bahaha such hypocrisy.
Uhh, not really. Now you're just making false assumptions. I agree that trespassing on someone's garden to get a football is something kids do - there's no harm done in it really, but if I know that if I broke someone's window I'd still tell them, even as a child.
You can't say now what you'd in the past, because you have a different mentality. Nice try but not slip-stream logic for you.

The funniest thing about these posts is that they think it will resonate with the kids because they felt some pain or felt bad? Hah. They will either resent the guy, or they will make fun of him.. might even just ignore it. Thinking one bad situation is going to imprint them is just ignorant.
Oh heck no. When I was a kid It wouldn't have even occurred to me to ask before climbing the fence. Mind you, if I'd heard breaking glass I'd have booked it out of there and I would not have let myself get caught by a mere ear twist.

And some of the physical consequences I received did resonate, I still hate push-ups, but no, never the getting smacked for things. In that regard at least, I'm willing to concede. the Ear twisting was unnecessary, and almost certainly unhelpful. But it did get their attention, I promise you that.

Delsana said:
Punishment doesn't stop things, it makes you get better at hiding it. Your "usually" indicates this. It's not punishment that gives you self-introspection, it's maturity and development of self through experiences based on your own capacity and capabilities and drives. Not the forced drives of others.
My Dad's a criminal investigator. I've never been able to hide anything from him. But I certainly tried.

The usually was actually more of a picked battles thing. There were some things I wouldn't be discouraged from doing, but with many of the things I did as a kid, I didn't do them after being caught. Proper punishment is like good criticism; it tells you where you're wrong and shows you how to fix it. In my opinion, the kids should have fixed the fence, not their dad.
 

DudeistBelieve

TellEmSteveDave.com
Sep 9, 2010
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spartandude said:
ok so where i live theres a small space to park your cars and then right next to it is my graden
alot of times kids will use the car park to play football (thats european btw) and occasionally someone accidently kicks the ball over my fence and they knock on my door asking for it back which i am more than happy to do.

however the over day they kicked the ball over my fence and smashed one of the windows on my greenhouse. now this has me a little pissed, i would still get the ball but ask them to get their parents to talk about atleast some compansation for the damages. but rather than knocking on my door the kids this time decided to climb over my fence, which in doing so they broke the fence and trespassed on my property.

as you may guess im rather pissed off by this, as they snuck into my garden (or tried to) i caught them, grabbed them and walked them out of my property by their ears. it just so happens at that time their mum was looking for them (as best i gathered they should have been home for something) and i walk them out still twisting their ears (yes it hurts but doesnt do any damage). when their mom see's me doing this she flips at me, saying i have no right to punish her children. i try to calm her down explaining the situation to her but she continues to yell it me at which point i start yelling back telling her that her kids have no right to trespass and that they damaged my property (for which i was given money for by her rather understanding husband).

yet in her eyes her kids have every right to do what they want and i am a horrible person for essentially diciplining her children

so my question for you escapists is, was I out of line to punish the children (essentially twisting their ears and walking them out of my garden) and telling her to dicipline her own children

also just for reference no im not a parent myself


capcha - Snow Shovel..... oh if only
I'd say the ear grabbing was out of line if only cause you could of acheived the same thing by not doing it, and frankly if I saw anyone physically hurting my nephews I'd be very less then sympathetic over their broken green house. How's she to know that was all you were going to do? Again, I see anyone hurting my nephews like that I automatically assume the would-be aggressor means to do more harm.

That said, I'm emotionally invested in your story sir. Did you get names? Are you going to pursue legal action to get your greenhouse fixed?
 

Rabish Bini

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Jun 11, 2011
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Objectively, I can see why you may be considered to have been out of line.

In my moral view though? Shit no. You done good sir. If I was their parent I wouldn't have cared about what you did.
 

Delsana

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Aug 16, 2011
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stonethered said:
Delsana said:
Yosato said:
Delsana said:
stonethered said:
Delsana said:
stonethered said:
I don't think you were, not even for the ear twisting (which frankly sounds totally situationally appropriate, and is exactly how it would have happened if it had been a movie). Kids should have known better than to trespass, assuming they knew it was someone's property. Lady shouldn't have yelled at you for it, but her reaction is quite understandable. She was angry, and probably a bit scared about what you were doing; odds are nobody has ever actually laid hands on her kids before (and I'd say that after trespassing and vandalizing your private property, somebody probably ought to).

Could you have handled it better? Yeah, you could have just tracked down their parents and courteously requested compensation. But at the same time, your actions will have a rather more lasting impact on all of them. And you didn't try to kill anyone, or cause permanent harm. Nobody was threatened. And everything was paid for. As long as there's no legal problems, I'd say you did fine.
Legally, it was child abuse.

There's a very big legal problem here.

Again, I sense hypocrisy for everyone forgetting what happened when they were young kid...
Depends on the region.
And by legal problems, I mean depending on whether anyone wanted to press charges. Generally, the police don't fuss with things unless people take issue with them.

And what exactly is it that we're all forgetting here?
You guys all broke things when you were really young, or your parents did, and you didn't want to take responsibility and you fled... and now look at you all taking issue with it and acting as if it's the worst thing ever and punishment ever made you stop.. bahaha such hypocrisy.
Uhh, not really. Now you're just making false assumptions. I agree that trespassing on someone's garden to get a football is something kids do - there's no harm done in it really, but if I know that if I broke someone's window I'd still tell them, even as a child.
You can't say now what you'd in the past, because you have a different mentality. Nice try but not slip-stream logic for you.

The funniest thing about these posts is that they think it will resonate with the kids because they felt some pain or felt bad? Hah. They will either resent the guy, or they will make fun of him.. might even just ignore it. Thinking one bad situation is going to imprint them is just ignorant.
Oh heck no. When I was a kid It wouldn't have even occurred to me to ask before climbing the fence. Mind you, if I'd heard breaking glass I'd have booked it out of there and I would not have let myself get caught by a mere ear twist.

And some of the physical consequences I received did resonate, I still hate push-ups, but no, never the getting smacked for things. In that regard at least, I'm willing to concede. the Ear twisting was unnecessary, and almost certainly unhelpful. But it did get their attention, I promise you that.
Indeed.. they'll be more careful at getting caught.
 

Whispering Cynic

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Nov 11, 2009
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Ear twisting might be considered a bit too much, but other than this you have done nothing wrong. And considering they have damaged your property I'd say they've still gotten off pretty easy...
 

DudeistBelieve

TellEmSteveDave.com
Sep 9, 2010
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The Plunk said:
OH NO NOT THEIR DELICATE, FRAGILE LITTLE EARSES! YOU'VE SCARRED THEM FOR LIFE YOU MONSTER!!!!!!

...

The little shits had it coming. I don't get why people in this thread are claiming that being the genetic creator of a being gives you, and only you, the right to inflict corporal punishment on them.

This was either a 12 or 14 year old for fuck's sake, people get their ears pierced at that age, I'm sure they can survive a little twist.
Child rapist and murderers in this world, sir... Sure you see a guy on a street corner grabbing some young girl by the arm and you stand back and go "I'm sure theirs a logical reason for it." then the next day the girls actual parents are on TV looking for their dead child.

Hell go one step further then that, some people are just fucked in the head. I had a guy that tried to fight me because he was upset that when he tried to enter the bathroom stall I was in that I slammed the door shut. Like it or not, you can't trust total strangers to dish out punishment...

...Which bare in mind that when people talk about the days when a village would raise a child, a parent pretty much knew EVERYONE pretty well. These days people are more isolated.
 

mfeff

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Nov 8, 2010
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Being a father for what it is worth it does cross some weird lines when it comes to the distribution of punishment of someone else's kids. There are probably some local laws that you could be hit with in civil claims court.

That being said, it's the digital age and a camera is a good way to go. Document the damage, film the kid's trespassing, get it all on tape; call the police, show your evidence and move on from there.

The old ways of looking at communities as a group effort is a bit out dated... with people coming and going as they do. As with anything refer to your local laws as to what your rights are as a property owner.

Cheers!
 

Mr F.

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Jul 11, 2012
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Well, Yeah, you were out of line and could face legal ramifications, depending on the country you are in. Just telling them to get the fuck off your property would be enough, laying a finger on them is stepping over the mark.

EDIT:

FelixG said:
You were well within your rights.

You should get a medal good sir!

So should the father, the mother should be given a good smack or ear twist of her own, idiot.
So... Following condoning violence towards children, you go on to encourage domestic abuse?

You are a Stirling example of a human being!

Now, I can see both sides of this argument (Being the internet it is immediately polarised with both sides getting progressively more extreme). Some of you think that he was in the right to hurt someone elses kids, some of you think that what he did was a crime so horrendous as to be worthy of the ICC.

Myself? Touching someone elses kids is a dumb, dangerous thing to do and it is not within your rights. So don't do it. And someone who condones domestic violence, even in partial jest, is a very low human being.