How about none of them.
The Everygirl is just infuriating to be around. Every time she starts gushing about how hot werewolves are or going on about how so and so is totally cheating on whoever, I am just going to slap her and call her names. And maybe insult her fashion sense, I don't know, hit her where it hurts.
The "Best Friend" strikes me as a massive nuisance. The type of girl who thinks that the only way to be close with dudes and not intimate in a romantic sense is to act exactly like some sort of horribly flanderised version of one. Hitting you on the arm and farting in your face every five minutes.
Yeah, sorry toots, but if I wanted to hang out with an overly macho idiot, I'd go to the local college with a keg under my arm and start calling everyone "bro".
The Ditz is a pretty easy one. Stupid stops being funny pretty quickly. Even if she was so hot she suddenly made me not asexual, I would be too busy trying to eat my own face to try and get on that.
The Intellectual poses a unique issue in that she herself is not the problem, but my own crippling inadequacies. She's smart. She's into shit I have not the brain to comprehend. She'd probably eagerly spend the night chatting away about the fucking philosophy of superrobotics and spacetime or something. Likely, the only reason she'd be with my sorry ass is to make herself look even smarter.
That or she finds me really pretty, I guess. Whatever. No accounting for taste. Still gotta live with knowing my partner thinks I'm an idiot.
The Sporty girl is just too active. I am a fat, lazy slob. We'd have not a damn thing in common. She'd be wanting to go off and play sports and shit all the time and I'd just be like "okay, no, fuck that, I just got comfortable, go play by yourself".
It occurs to me that most dudes, unless they are quite active themselves, would be the same. You don't want to be doing shit ALL the time. Not doing shit is good. It involves not doing shit. And when you are not doing shit, you don't really want to start doing shit. If you did, you would already be doing shit. Having a girlfriend that always wants to be doing shit would be like trying to care for an overly excitable puppy. Adorable at first, but eventually it kind of just becomes a burden.
And ALL of this is not even accounting for that fact that I am not really into romance anyway. This is a hypothetical "if I was" type of thing.
Really, I'm not even sure what type of person I'd be into. And even if I did know, there are not really many people who would willingly hang around a cantankerous asshole. I'd have to pretend like I'm not a giant dick. And who wants to do that?
Aside from two-faced fuckweeds, that is.
The "Best Friend" strikes me as a massive nuisance. The type of girl who thinks that the only way to be close with dudes and not intimate in a romantic sense is to act exactly like some sort of horribly flanderised version of one. Hitting you on the arm and farting in your face every five minutes.
Yeah, sorry toots, but if I wanted to hang out with an overly macho idiot, I'd go to the local college with a keg under my arm and start calling everyone "bro".
The Ditz is a pretty easy one. Stupid stops being funny pretty quickly. Even if she was so hot she suddenly made me not asexual, I would be too busy trying to eat my own face to try and get on that.
The Intellectual poses a unique issue in that she herself is not the problem, but my own crippling inadequacies. She's smart. She's into shit I have not the brain to comprehend. She'd probably eagerly spend the night chatting away about the fucking philosophy of superrobotics and spacetime or something. Likely, the only reason she'd be with my sorry ass is to make herself look even smarter.
That or she finds me really pretty, I guess. Whatever. No accounting for taste. Still gotta live with knowing my partner thinks I'm an idiot.
The Sporty girl is just too active. I am a fat, lazy slob. We'd have not a damn thing in common. She'd be wanting to go off and play sports and shit all the time and I'd just be like "okay, no, fuck that, I just got comfortable, go play by yourself".
It occurs to me that most dudes, unless they are quite active themselves, would be the same. You don't want to be doing shit ALL the time. Not doing shit is good. It involves not doing shit. And when you are not doing shit, you don't really want to start doing shit. If you did, you would already be doing shit. Having a girlfriend that always wants to be doing shit would be like trying to care for an overly excitable puppy. Adorable at first, but eventually it kind of just becomes a burden.
And ALL of this is not even accounting for that fact that I am not really into romance anyway. This is a hypothetical "if I was" type of thing.
Really, I'm not even sure what type of person I'd be into. And even if I did know, there are not really many people who would willingly hang around a cantankerous asshole. I'd have to pretend like I'm not a giant dick. And who wants to do that?
Aside from two-faced fuckweeds, that is.
