Poll: Which Fictitious Foot Soldier Would it Suck to be the Most?

[GodsAndFishes]

Imperial Guard
-Mass cannon fodder just to keep the enemies away from the tanks
-Shot if they run away
-Shot if they attack

And lets not forget the great joke about lasguns
"What do you call a lasgun with a flashlight taped onto it?"
"Twin-linked"

 

[Vrex360]

I feel so sorry for the Halo Grunts, they get picked on so much. They die so easily and now we make their deaths scenic by making them explode into confetti. Poor guys.

 

[Spitfire175]

All others are just fine, they have it easy, but Imperial Guardsmen have "dying when told to" written in their job description. Their only purpose is to distract the enemy and get slaughtered while the tanks get into position. And what do they have to fight? Everything. Colonial marines are having a picninc compared to what guardsmen go through. Stormtroopers actually won something, as did the grunts. Starship troopers at least don't have to make do with laser pointer pens for main weapons. Orcs are alright as long as the heroes are somewhere else. Bond villain henchmen have a better survival rating than most others, they only die during the action sequenses, not that many of those in the proper Bond movies.

 

[joschen]

Which fictitious basic foot soldier would it suck to be the most.

Personally I would choose the Guardsmen as having an average life expectancy of 15 hours after my first combat would really suck.

A close second is the Stormtrooper as I would mysteriously forget my basic training and marksmanship whenever a main character comes on screen.

As always introduce any other candidates and discuss any of the listed ones.

A IRL soldier in a full scale war would most certainly suck even more, since they have the in-combat survival expectancy of 1.33 minutes.

Id say its pretty crappy to be a Colonial Marine. There's a 100% that you either become eaten outside in, or inside out.

 

[T-Bone24]

The Grunt from Halo is treated as the lowest sentient lifeform in the galaxy. They're expected to be killed. They have to share gruel from a giant nipple for chrissake!

 

[scrambledeggs]

Orcs, because they are hideous.

 

[Starke]

The Guard, when you don't have the budget for a real army.

hehe

well in the colonial marines defence only one small group in one movie encountered the aliens

To boot, they were pretty heavily restricted on what weapons they could use, because they were on a rescue mission initially, and couldn't even use their assault rifles in power plant. The weapon manifest on the ship includes things like particle weapons, and the EU intermittently includes powered armor. They're only screwed because no one believed Ripley's claims.

Imperial Guard
-Mass cannon fodder just to keep the enemies away from the tanks
-Shot if they run away
-Shot if they attack

And lets not forget the great joke about lasguns
"What do you call a lasgun with a flashlight taped onto it?"
"Twin-linked"

That's hillarious.

I voted for the Imperial Guardsmen (Warhammer 40.000) because as someone once said: If you have a problem you can not solve with conventional means, just throw Guardsmen at it untill it goes away.

That's working well with the Tryanid and Necron problem pretty well, isn't it? Oh, wait, we actually RAN OUT of guardsman? How is that even possible?

Though, I thought the IG was only there to have their morale break before they encountered the enemy.

 

[Woodsey]

Stormtrooper.

You'll be choked to death through a TV screen for taking a piss-break 5 minutes too early.

 

[SomethingUnrelated]

Just thought I'd bring this one up here; It'd reeeally suck to be Carmine from any of the Gears of War games, particularly the first.

Based on the offered choices in the poll, I'd have to say a LOTR Orc.

 

[Murlin]

Colonial Marine. They are pretty much dead the second they hear of an alien.

they're pretty much dead the day they sign up

 

[KnowYourOnion]

To be Private Jenkins.

For those who know who he is, I give you a cookie.

Fella out of Halo:The Flood right?
It's been awhile since I read it

 

[Skeleon]

Yeah, Guardsmen.
I mean, they're cool and all, but they just die too fucking quickly.

 

[Amnestic]

Imperial Guardsmen. Why even bother signing up? It'd just be faster to blow a hole in your head right there and then. Probably a hell of a lot more pleasant if you're going up against...well, anyone, actually.

Just hope you don't go up against Dark Eldar or Chaos. They do so love their torture.

 

[FairlyFrightenedFeline]

Halo Grunt because not only can you die really easily you cannot deal ANY FUCKING DAMAGE.

 

[Sebenko]

Imperial Guardsman, without a doubt. It's like all the others combined. Let's see.

- Shitty guns and armour (Stormtroopers).
- Gigantic bug-aliens in opposition (Starship Troopers and Colonial Marines).
- Power-armoured berserkers as other kind of opposition (Halo Grunts).
- Heavy reliance on "reserves" (LotR Orcs).
- Your own superiors tend to shoot you (Bond mooks).

Also, life expectancy: 15 hours, in one book. It took them longer to get there (wweeks, even!)

Imperial Guardsmen. Why even bother signing up? It'd just be faster to blow a hole in your head right there and then. Probably a hell of a lot more pleasant if you're going up against...well, anyone, actually.

Just hope you don't go up against Dark Eldar or Chaos. They do so love their torture.

Because you don't sign up. Conscripts. And the fact that half the time it's easier to survive in the guard than it is as a civilian. At least in the guard you have some light.

 

[gRiM_rEaPeRsco]

A conscript from red alert 2, spawn 200 hundred than get owned by those rocketeer guys... damn

 

[QuirkyTambourine]

Genome Soldier from MGS: "Whose footprints are these?" followed by any of the following:

shot in the head with a tranquilizer
shot in the chest with a tranquilizer
shot in the crotch with a tranquilizer

shot in the head with a bullet
shot in the chest with a bullet
shot in the crotch with a bullet

put in a chokehold
throat slashed
neck snapped

CQC'ed

and many others.

Stroll into a very carefully and very deviously crafted floral pattern arrangement of claymores. That one was my favorite

I'd say it would just suck to be the Americans in MW1, they come in, screw up in every way possible, and then get nuked to all hell.

 

[Syntax Error]

snip

I forgot, a Genome Soldier can also explode while answering the call of nature. They have this magnetic attraction to C4's.