Poll: Whos right here

[Colour Scientist]

Eh, I'm so going to get chewed out for this...
She's in the right.

You can't control other people because of your own insecurities.
It's just a film, I don't think you should stop your girlfriend doing anything because of your issues. Your girlfriend obviously has made a choice to be with you, she doesn't seriously think she's going to jump through the screen and run off with a movie-star. It's natural to be attracted to people outside of your relationship, and suppressing that is not healthy.

Don't moan about her seeing the film, try and work on your issues. Hug her and ask for reassurance if you need to, but don't try and control her.

This.

You can't restrict her life because of your own insecurities.

I don't have the hottest body in the world but that doesn't mean I'm entitled to stop my boyfriend watching films with hot women in them and I wouldn't ever want to anyway.

 

[alandavidson]

One: It's a film. Let her go have fun.

Two: You don't like the way you look? Work out, get new clothes, and get outside and do things. Seriously, stop giving a fuck about so many things. Change what you can change - YOU. Don't give a fuck about trying to change anything else, because it's not going to happen.

 

[Alakaizer]

90.9% voted for her. This is hilarious.

It's gotten up to 96.2% voted in favor of the girlfriend.

This isn't the first time there's been a male stripper movie you know. Am I the only one that thought an American Full Monty when I saw the advert.

Just me? Came out in 97. 6 unemployed steel workers become strippers.

Full Monty was a really funny movie, it's nice that it still gets recognition.

 

[chadachada123]

If she was going to an ACTUAL male strip club, then it would absolutely be alright to have reservations.

But not being okay with her seeing a movie...you should understand that many (most?) guys and girls still continue their porn-watching habits even while in a relationship. It can strengthen bonds for some couples, even, and at least won't harm the bond as long as the other partner is understanding.

 

[Catfood220]

I noticed that none of the 3 people that have voted in support of you have posted to back you up.

Anyway, she is right, it is just a movie. Don't let arguments about petty little things like this wreck your relationship.

 

[Dastardly]

So my girlfriend and her friends are going to see the film magic mike which is just about these guys stripping. now i have huge insecuritys about my body and everything and the fact that shes ging to see this film of course have a problem with this so now we are in a huge fight and she just cant get why i care so much even though she knows the way i am and she says its just a bit of fun. Also before people ask i dont look at other girls in that way even celebrities and i sure as hell wouldnt pay money to go see a film about the "hottest girls in the world" stripping. So my question is, who do you think is in the right here?

You can't make your insecurities her problem.

1. You're not married. And she's not going to marry these actors. This isn't "high stakes."

2. If she's the sort of woman that will be "led astray" by this movie, she's obviously already the sort of woman that's attracted to that body type. That means she's with you for some other reason, which is good for you. It also means you gain nothing by trying to keep her from going to this movie, except perhaps turning her off of whatever it is that attracts her to you.

3. I like chicken. I like chocolate. I like them for different reasons and in different ways. But if chicken ever told me that I had to give up chocolate, it would just make me mad at chicken. My love of chocolate isn't a threat to my love of chicken. They're not in competition, they occupy different spaces entirely. The only one that can "lose" here is you.

Your feelings are normal and natural. They are also immature and destructive. It's normal for people to feel them, but only the wrong sort of person acts on them... or worse, tries to get someone else to act on them. Understand the feeling (You have a girlfriend, you're insecure, so you're afraid of every little thing that could "take" her) and then put it aside, recognizing that it is childish, possessive, and ultimately unhealthy.

Don't feel bad about it. Everyone feels these feelings. I'll note that everyone also, at some point, feels so angry at someone they could just murder them. Pay attention to what happens to the people that act on those feelings, and what happens to the people who don't.

 

[Kragg]

I noticed that none of the 3 people that have voted in support of you have posted to back you up.

Anyway, she is right, it is just a movie. Don't let arguments about petty little things like this wreck your relationship.

missclicked or just picked first option cause that is how they roll, in any poll there is some error you should disregard ^^

basicly everyone agrees that she is in the right by going

 

[Easton Dark]

I don't think he was expecting for these results to be so one-sided.

 

[pffh]

It's just porn. No one should be upset about their partner watching a bit of porn.

 

[Phasmal]

This.

You can't restrict her life because of your own insecurities.

I don't have the hottest body in the world but that doesn't mean I'm entitled to stop my boyfriend watching films with hot women in them and I wouldn't ever want to anyway.

I can't even imagine trying to stop my boyfriend looking at hot women in media.
He'd never be able to watch a film again... or TV. Or look at billboards. Or read a magazine. Or play games.
Fuck it, he'd have to wear a blindfold everywhere!

I get having insecurities. But people can't ask everyone to change just because of the bad feelings they have inside. It's something to be dealt with by the person whose issue it is.

 

[Pebblig]

It does look like an absolutely awful film, I don't understand who'd want to waste money on it.

But personally I don't think it's an issue that should be argued over, as it's just a movie and probably an awful one at that.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

Full frontal male nudity? You could be right, guys in tonges, she's is right. I guess she wouldn't like you watching porn, even if you don't want to.

Crazy idea, join a gym, get a new haircut, buy new clothes and boost your selfconfidence.

Change yourself, not other people.

Very curious about why full frontal and clothed make a difference here.

OP: I don't really understand what the fear is here. Is seeing another man shirtless or possibly a hint of penis going to make her leave you? If that was the case then why wouldn't she leave the first time she saw a man swimming, or watched any movie where a physically attractive man appeared naked? Is it that you think she'll start comparing you to these men and that will set off your insecurities? If so then get over yourself. Expecting her to not do something just because it sets off your problem is unfair, especially if that problem is something like your own self esteem issues. I'd think that the fact that she has chosen you and is still with you would confirm that she likes you. Maybe you should think about that instead of worrying about whatever it is exactly that you're worrying about. Beause if you can't get over yourself on an issue like this then I speak from experience when I say that she will leave you, and it will be your own fault.

 

[Skitty_McFluffernut]

Get over your insecurities. It will be poisonous to your relationship.

 

[capper42]

Loosen up or you'll lose her. It's only a film, it makes no difference to how she perceives you.

 

[3quency]

I think you're both in the wrong for making a big deal out of it. It's just a movie, couldn't it have been discussed without it becoming a full blown argument?

 

[Snowbell]

Are you saying you've never watched porn? Otherwise you're a massive hypocrite for not letting her watch something which is essentially the same.

 

[zidine100]

Edit: seems he already apologized and made up. My previous post here is deemed redundant in my eyes.

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

I have huge insecurities about my body and everything and the fact that shes ging to see this film of course have a problem with this.

First thing here you must realize, is that when you succumb to your insecurities, it makes you look like a childish wuss, not to insult you, just to enlighten you.

Insecurities, fears, problems, they're all there to be overcome, or solved.

Thing is, you're insecure about your body, has your girlfriend had sex with you? If so, has she repeated that action? If so, it's obvious to me that your body is good enough for her, so why should you feel insecure about it?

Bam problem solved, either you're just unfairly judging yourself on matters of physical appearance, or she loves you for a reason less shallow and easily abandonned than pure physical lust, and therefor your physical appearance shouldn't be cause for concern.

Trick is, women tend to find men attractive, not boys, not children, MEN guys who own up and deal with their problems, guys that are confident in who they are, and handle themselves appropriately, and as long as that MAN takes decent care of himself physically, y'know personal hygene, decent sense of style, doesn't totally let himself go, then he has a chance, I've found that with women, the kind of attraction that builds relationships rarely if ever is purely due to physical perfection, just as many fat/deformed guys have real lasting relationships as physically attractive guys, it's all about how you handle yourself.

My suggestion is that you take my advice and get that kind of behaviour on lockdown ASAP, otherwise you run the risk of losing her, then the next one, then the next one, forrever.

Anyhow, I wish you luck, and hope that you find fulfillment in your relationship.

 

[HardkorSB]

now i have huge insecuritys about my body

Then how about, I don't know, working out for a year or so, to look and feel better (unless of course, you're one of those guys who will always be insecure about things like that but I bet you wouldn't care if she went yo see a movie where Steve Buscemi or Jack Black took their clothes off, at least not that much)?
Women don't like insecure guys. I know, I fucked up a few promising relationships because of my insecurities in the past.
Women also don't like when their boyfriends make a fuss over what is essentially petty bull shit.

 

[Alexi089]

hmmm... I'm going to make a little thread de-rail, which I think I may get flamed for, but the above posts are just too useful for me to pass up:

To paraphrase The Joker (for funsies):

'If tomorrow I tell the press that I'm gonna make a movie built around the premise that Channing Tatum will wiggle his buns in a speedo, so women can salivate over him. Nobody panics. Because it's all 'just a bit of fun'. But when I say that ONE little old titty will slip out of Chun Lee's top in the next Streetfighter game... Well the everyone loses their minds!'

The fundamental point of this bit of meandering being YES it IS just a bit of fun, and it's NOT going to warp the minds of men or women into an abusive, sex slave hungry rabble. So why can't we have this more levelled, rational attitude when it comes to sexualised depictions of women in products targeted to a male dominated audience? It would certainly save all this over inflated paranoia and gender wars stuff. Anywhoo, that's just my two cents on how blowing things out of proportion is unwise; and encourages unecessary demonising and mistrust of others.

OT: OP should let the issue drop. If seeing an uncommonly handsome man with a heavy gym routine dance to club music in small pants makes your girlfriend question her feelings for you (unlikely) you're better off without her anyway. No relationship with someone that fickle could last.
I also suggest you either:
a) Start an exercise routine to cultivate a body you're more confident with (but beware of getting obsessed).
b) Go to the GP if you know there is something unusual (it'll be fine, I had a doctor examine by chest for possible breast cancer lumps once, and I'm a guy. It turned out to be something I forget, and he didn't make me feel awkward about it).
c) Go to your GP if your insecurities are consuming you despite you being normal, in the event of BDD. Some may be dismissive, some may be helpful. But if you're that eaten up by them, it's time to get some outside help.

Try not to worry so much. It's bad for you : )

Edit: Guy below me makes a good point: A bit of insecurity is totally normal for humans in general (though, you may struggle to find a guy who admits it outloud). Noone likes everything about themselves. Even so, if she's interested enough to talk about why this upsets you, she's interested in you. Besides, she probably sees rather unrealistic portrayals of men all the time (see perfume/ manfume adds), and she's still with you; so I don't see how this film will alter her opinion of you. Do start actively looking into ways to stop your insecurities from overwhelming you though, cos that's just important for life. Also bear in mind that just like you don't look like Channing Tatum, I'm betting she doesn't look like Jessica Alba. But you don't sound like you're out looking for a Jessica Alba look-a-like cos you love her as she is. Chances are she feels the same back.