Poll: Why I don't like Elves

[randommaster]

*snip*

I laughed, hard.

Whyt thank you, we spent some time really working on that.

 

[Lexodus]

Am I the only one, who thinks Elfs are kinda like gays and Dwarfs are kinda like Jews?
It would make sense because Tolkien admitted that Nazis were a big inspiration for orcs, who wanted to exterminate them.

Great. I'm a dwarf?!?

 

[Lexodus]

Depends on the elves. I rather like Tolkien's elves, Greyhawk and Forgotten Realms' Drow, the Night and Blood Elves of WoW, the Elves and Eladrin of D&D 4e, and probably a couple of others I'm forgetting.

Okay, this is primarily a rant, but you're invited to comment or post your own point of view on Elves or any other fictional race. Note that my knowledge of Elves stems primarily from LOTR (both the books and the movies) as well as some other literature and several different games. Anyway, here goes.

Ever read the Silmarillion?

Don't do it. It's like reading an Indian phonebook.

Ahahaha. Racism is funny

 

[Boaal]

Humans are fucking boring. Elves are poncy.
I'd rather play somthing interesting and not some girls ideal man who's always manages to have shiny hair and look like the next best thing to the corporate popstar cutesy boy image that 13 year old chicks touch themselves to at night...

Gimme somthing brutal, ugly, and not human.

 

[Lexodus]

Depends on the elves. I rather like Tolkien's elves, Greyhawk and Forgotten Realms' Drow, the Night and Blood Elves of WoW, the Elves and Eladrin of D&D 4e, and probably a couple of others I'm forgetting.

Okay, this is primarily a rant, but you're invited to comment or post your own point of view on Elves or any other fictional race. Note that my knowledge of Elves stems primarily from LOTR (both the books and the movies) as well as some other literature and several different games. Anyway, here goes.

Ever read the Silmarillion?

The Silmarillion

My teacher once described it as "The Bible, only less stimulating and more wordy"

I prefer the orcs, or at least the Warcraft representation of them. Noble Savage.

Your teacher is an idiot. The Bible is the most boring and wordy thing out there, and that includes the Qur'an/All the other spellings.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

Don't really care about them personally, compared to any other race/ species/ whatver either.

 

[lenin_117]

Am I the only one, who thinks Elfs are kinda like gays and Dwarfs are kinda like Jews?
It would make sense because Tolkien admitted that Nazis were a big inspiration for orcs, who wanted to exterminate them.

Intriguing thought...*goes off to reread the books*


Honestly, some of the elves of Middle Earth were a little hard to relate to, for the precise reason the OP named: they don't seem to grow over time. (Legolas being an exception, as he and Gimli learned to stop being douchebags to each other and renounce racism. Awww.)

I like the elves of the Forgotten Realms stories, personally, as they aren't immortal and are more identifiable.

Not even! They live for 700 years plus!

 

[randommaster]

nothing about Finwe's final stand against Melkor

You mean those two lines about a messenger saying he got killed? yeah, that was exhilarating. The book itself was incredible, though.

The Silmarillion

My teacher once described it as "The Bible, only less stimulating and more wordy"

\.

I wouldn't respect that teacher all that much, The Silmarillion is a must-read-classic for a reason.

It's worth mentioning that in a lot of fantasy universes elves are the current-day descendants of a race that had marvellous empires in ancient times. They're only stagnant because authors avoid hosting their novels in the golden-age-of-elves period like it's the plague.
Hate the authors, not the elves, they're the victim!

OP: You need to read the silmarillion and reassess your opinion. The Lord of The Rings and The Hobbit don't do elves justice, while the silmarillion displays elves back when they were an active influence in the world. That was several thousands of years by the way, as opposed to the about 4 years LOTR spans.

Prepare for massive racism!

Dragons are able to "smell" gold and jewels through a sixth sense. If there is money somewhere, they can find it. Also, They don't use their treasure for anything, they just hoard it because they can. Additionally, you can only be a dragon, or part dragon, if one of your parents was a dragon.

I laughed at this, and laughed hard. As a jewish nerd (read: Jerd), I find this hilarious.

edit: quoting without the pyramid is hard work

Yay, people like me! If you ever DM a campain, as a plot twist have the dragon be jewish and the king be Hitler in disguise.

I've read the Silmarillion, but it will be kind of boring if you're not that intrested in the material. Still, it was good overall.

 

[randommaster]

Prepare for massive racism!

Dragons are able to "smell" gold and jewels through a sixth sense. If there is money somewhere, they can find it. Also, They don't use their treasure for anything, they just hoard it because they can.

we don't use our treasure? come on. how are you going to stay rich if you keep spending all your money?
Wait, what? How do you get rich by spending all your money?

Additionally, you can only be a dragon, or part dragon, if one of your parents was a dragon.

i have no idea how this relates to judaism.

Aren't you only Jewish if your mother is Jewish, or do I have my facts mixed up?

 

[cobra_ky]

Additionally, you can only be a dragon, or part dragon, if one of your parents was a dragon.

i have no idea how this relates to judaism.

One is born into Judaism if one's mother is Jewish - hence the misconception of a Jewish race.

but you don't HAVE to be born into judaism. you can always convert. now if we're talking about the jews as an ethnic group, sure, you have to be born into it, but that's true of any ethnicity.

Your teacher is an idiot. The Bible is the most boring and wordy thing out there, and that includes the Qur'an/All the other spellings.

sounds like the silmarillion to me.

Am I the only one, who thinks Elfs are kinda like gays and Dwarfs are kinda like Jews?

i wish we got scottish accents. ;_;

 

[cobra_ky]

Aren't you only Jewish if your mother is Jewish, or do I have my facts mixed up?

traditionally, if there was any question over it, a newborn child inherited the mother's religion because there was never ambiguity over who the mother was. my mother converted, but it wasn't a formal one that adhered to all the laws, so some would say i'm not really jewish. no one i know has ever cared.

EDIT: i missed the response to the first part

we don't use our treasure? come on. how are you going to stay rich if you keep spending all your money?

Wait, what? How do you get rich by spending all your money?

um, you don't. that's why you save it. that's a lot different from "not using it for anything" or "hoarding it just because you can".

 

[Squedee]

I agree with this also.
and i also hate the big elf fans because their normally douchebags who think elves are better than everybody else
but they should challenge a dwarf to a drinking contest

 

[Vrex360]

Where's the Lizardman option?

These are MY people.
I hate humans.

 

[UltimatheChosen]

I think that elves are too often used as a bland cookie cutter race. It's possible to make them interesting (blood elves in Warcraft 3 are decent, if not great), but it's difficult, and usually not worth the effort.

 

[Skeleon]

i like elves as long as they are treated properly > A general trait of elves is that they are smart and very athletic leading to skills in archery and magic if you stick to this then it's OK

Sorry, but the things you listed as necessary are actually part of what pisses me off about Elves.
Well, at least you don't want Elves to be able to do everything perfect, but still...

 

[TwistedEllipses]

There are so many things I do like about elves. They're just really effeminate, skinny with perfect hair, sometimes they end up singing...urrghh...I want something manly like a hard-drinking mining stout foul-mouthed dwarf!

Then there's the arrogance of elves thinking they're better than everyone...The only good thing is that Orcs were created through envy and mockery of them!

 

[traceur_]

Generally elves are way faster and more agile than humans, live way longer, have magic and don't work. They're beautiful and graceful, they're awesome.

I hate dwarves, too slow, filthy and loud. Humans suck too.

 

[ElephantGuts]

Holy shit, I'm just like you. I love Dwarves, and I hate Elves. I never examined why though. Without wanting to sound hoomphobic, they're just...gay. But your explanation is better though.

Am I the only one, who thinks Elfs are kinda like gays and Dwarfs are kinda like Jews?
It would make sense because Tolkien admitted that Nazis were a big inspiration for orcs, who wanted to exterminate them.

And thank you for that inspiring insight, Kukul. Though I must ask, what makes Dwarves remind you of Jews? If your only logic is that the Orcs, who are equivalent to Nazis, are trying to kill them, then that would mean that Humans, Elves, and Gnomes (if we're still talking about WoW) are also like Jews. So what makes the Dwarves seem more like Jews than anyone else?

*Braces for anti-semitic stereotypes that probably won't come now that I've included this little bit here*