Gonna have to point out where I called anyone a misogynistic idiot. Even when I directly disagreed with someone there was no calling anyone of anything involved.Callate said:
Poll: Women like jerks?
- Thread starter Erttheking
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....Fourth time?BloatedGuppy said:
*searches through the forums*
Uh, this is news to me. I can't find anything like that.
Sure they do, they also like not-jerks and millionaires and protestants and policemen and chess players and people who collect stamps.
There's a wide range of people that women like.
Do they EXCLUSIVELY like jerks or prefer them over others? Some might, most probably don't.
There's a wide range of people that women like.
Do they EXCLUSIVELY like jerks or prefer them over others? Some might, most probably don't.
I always try to participate i threads like this but the back of my head just keeps chanting "GAY GAY GAY GAY" like a damn ticker tape parade. Sure guys have as much emotion as women, but these conversations always interest me to see how regular people act.
I agree with this post, but I have to ask if it's really easy to "fix" a jerk? I feel like most people stop being a jerk in their teens and that people who are still jerks afterwards are probably jerks for life.ThatOtherGirl said:
It's okayCandideWolf said:
Talking as a mostly straight woman: To an extend.
Women like confident, assertive, high value guys.
This often overlaps with "jerks", or, more correctly the cocky-asshole, in a funny way, type guy.
We don't want guys that crawl to our feet, put us on a pedestal and do everything for us. This signals that the guy doesn't have many options, hence he can't have great value. Now if a guy teases us, challenges us and isn't afraid to upset us a little bit, not putting up with all of the little tests we girls throw at dudes, that guy clearly has other options, that's what we like.
And often, the jerks are just like that.
Women like confident, assertive, high value guys.
This often overlaps with "jerks", or, more correctly the cocky-asshole, in a funny way, type guy.
We don't want guys that crawl to our feet, put us on a pedestal and do everything for us. This signals that the guy doesn't have many options, hence he can't have great value. Now if a guy teases us, challenges us and isn't afraid to upset us a little bit, not putting up with all of the little tests we girls throw at dudes, that guy clearly has other options, that's what we like.
And often, the jerks are just like that.
Here [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/116164-Science-Explains-Tsundere-Appeal] is some tsundere research. Though not on love it is in line with what you say. People like it when a person warms up to you more, then when they are consistently nice. It might just mean that in the end what we all want is just someone who makes us feel special.inu-kun said:
Some people are basically Neanderthals in human clothing, their interest extends no further than basic human desires (eating, drinking and fucking). This includes both men and women and as such, these Neanderthal women are attracted to these Neanderthal men who display the primitive traits (physical strength, aggression etc) they find desirable. But who gives a damn what Neanderthals like? The better question is what do thinking, human beings like?
"Some" women do, if I had to guess it's only a tiny proportion though that dwindles after the mid 20s. And outside of adolescence, usually takes a lot more then just being a jerk, theres usually something backing it up too. No one wants to date an ugly jerk with no money after all, or Id be drowning in female genitalia.
I've known women to admit as such and seen it myself, where people I knew during uni who are undisputably pricks (also bad looking to boot!) but have money and get regularly laid exclusively by bragging about the penthouse suite (that their parents bought) or their luxury cars.
So in conclusion, women do not usually like jerks just for being jerks, there's usually some other element involved then just the dude being a dick. In my experience will at the very least be a hawt dick or a loaded one. It's not too different then us guys though, how many guys do you know that wouldn't mind going out with an attractive woman even if she was an utter dousche? Similarly there's plenty of would be toyboys out there who dont mind being arm candy if the gal is uber rich.
And then you have the special snowflakes who really do like jerkiness in a partner, for whatever reason. I have full faith in the diversity of humans that such a specimens exist but can't talk much about them since in most cases I've witnessed there's always been something behind the jerkiness backing it up.
I've known women to admit as such and seen it myself, where people I knew during uni who are undisputably pricks (also bad looking to boot!) but have money and get regularly laid exclusively by bragging about the penthouse suite (that their parents bought) or their luxury cars.
So in conclusion, women do not usually like jerks just for being jerks, there's usually some other element involved then just the dude being a dick. In my experience will at the very least be a hawt dick or a loaded one. It's not too different then us guys though, how many guys do you know that wouldn't mind going out with an attractive woman even if she was an utter dousche? Similarly there's plenty of would be toyboys out there who dont mind being arm candy if the gal is uber rich.
And then you have the special snowflakes who really do like jerkiness in a partner, for whatever reason. I have full faith in the diversity of humans that such a specimens exist but can't talk much about them since in most cases I've witnessed there's always been something behind the jerkiness backing it up.
In short no, women aren't automatically attracted to people who behave like jerks. However, there is no denying that some people (men and women alike) do date jerks and it's interesting to explore that in a little more depth.
Firstly, think correlation not causation. In almost all instances someone who acts like a jerk does so because they know that they can get away with it. This might be because they are charismatic and/or attractive and people give them more leeway, they might be physically intimating, or any number of other reasons. In short, it's these attributes that enable them to behave like a jerk that people are attracted to.
Secondly, some people (women more often than men) gravitate towards people they feel they can help. Hollywood has to take a big chunk of the blame for this, having littered the cultural landscape with tales of romance, of love that heals a tortured soul. The idea that a "broken" person can be made whole just by someone loving them unconditionally is a fantasy that people try to play out in their lives, and it's the most caring and nurturing among us that tend to fall into this trap.
Lastly, the vast majority of people crave approval and validation, particularly those people with low self-esteem. The attention and approval of someone who treats those around them badly makes a person feel special. This doesn't just apply to romantic relationships but any interpersonal interaction (for illustration think Dr Cox and JD in Scrubs).
Firstly, think correlation not causation. In almost all instances someone who acts like a jerk does so because they know that they can get away with it. This might be because they are charismatic and/or attractive and people give them more leeway, they might be physically intimating, or any number of other reasons. In short, it's these attributes that enable them to behave like a jerk that people are attracted to.
Secondly, some people (women more often than men) gravitate towards people they feel they can help. Hollywood has to take a big chunk of the blame for this, having littered the cultural landscape with tales of romance, of love that heals a tortured soul. The idea that a "broken" person can be made whole just by someone loving them unconditionally is a fantasy that people try to play out in their lives, and it's the most caring and nurturing among us that tend to fall into this trap.
Lastly, the vast majority of people crave approval and validation, particularly those people with low self-esteem. The attention and approval of someone who treats those around them badly makes a person feel special. This doesn't just apply to romantic relationships but any interpersonal interaction (for illustration think Dr Cox and JD in Scrubs).
I had to answer "yes" but that's only because I have met several women who in fact are attracted to jerks. They dated them, I knew or would learn they were jerks. It's not opinion, it's an answer to the question posed. Do women like jerks... yes, I have tangible, undeniable evidence that they do. One of my best friends is a jerk, possibly the worst boyfriend any woman could ever have. He has gone from girlfriend to girlfriend almost constantly from middle school all the way into his 30's. He's more often than not, not single. And has had dozens of girlfriends.
Now, is that a trait that "most" or "many" women share. No. No more so than "guys who like ??? type of girl." I've known some women who like to think they're "changing" a guy, and prefer jerks. I've met fairly damaged women who are attracted to a type of man that abused them in the past. But that doesn't speak for the whole gender, just individuals. I've also met a tall, very attractive woman who happened to like guys 300+ lbs. I prefer short women to tall women. Another friend of mine is kind of grossed out by D cups and is only sexually attracted to A and B cups. Different strokes for different folks.
Now, is that a trait that "most" or "many" women share. No. No more so than "guys who like ??? type of girl." I've known some women who like to think they're "changing" a guy, and prefer jerks. I've met fairly damaged women who are attracted to a type of man that abused them in the past. But that doesn't speak for the whole gender, just individuals. I've also met a tall, very attractive woman who happened to like guys 300+ lbs. I prefer short women to tall women. Another friend of mine is kind of grossed out by D cups and is only sexually attracted to A and B cups. Different strokes for different folks.
For starters, what exactly constitutes a "jerk" is sort of up in the air. I've met some guys who basically seem to assign the 'jerk' label to 'any guy who is more confident than I am'.
As many have already noticed, one of the defining characteristics of being a jerk is a tendency to not really give a shit what you say, and thus jerks tend to get noticed more often than other people. A lot of people can mistake a rude attitude with someone being extra confident, which is pretty much universally considered an attractive trait. Likewise, a jerk who doesn't give a shit is far more likely to just walk up to a random woman and start flirting with her, far more than a 'nice guy' who is worried about coming on too strong or invading her space or harassing her or objectifying her or whatever. Even a guy who is a complete unrepentant jerk has more chance of landing a date walking up to 100 women than a guy who walks up to zero women.
Likewise, especially among very attractive women who are used to having guys kiss their ass, a guy who is an asshole to them often seems immediately attractive, because he separates himself from the other guys and shows he's clearly not intimidated by her beauty.
And some women I've met, while they might not use the word "jerk", pretty much spell it out when they describe the kind of guys they are attracted to. I once had a girl in my bio class who said "I'm attracted to guys with tattoos who drive a motorcycle with no helmet on. And probably have no insurance. And may have a criminal record.".
As many have already noticed, one of the defining characteristics of being a jerk is a tendency to not really give a shit what you say, and thus jerks tend to get noticed more often than other people. A lot of people can mistake a rude attitude with someone being extra confident, which is pretty much universally considered an attractive trait. Likewise, a jerk who doesn't give a shit is far more likely to just walk up to a random woman and start flirting with her, far more than a 'nice guy' who is worried about coming on too strong or invading her space or harassing her or objectifying her or whatever. Even a guy who is a complete unrepentant jerk has more chance of landing a date walking up to 100 women than a guy who walks up to zero women.
Likewise, especially among very attractive women who are used to having guys kiss their ass, a guy who is an asshole to them often seems immediately attractive, because he separates himself from the other guys and shows he's clearly not intimidated by her beauty.
And some women I've met, while they might not use the word "jerk", pretty much spell it out when they describe the kind of guys they are attracted to. I once had a girl in my bio class who said "I'm attracted to guys with tattoos who drive a motorcycle with no helmet on. And probably have no insurance. And may have a criminal record.".
Confidence can become assertiveness, assertiveness can lead to disconcern or lack of respect, which quickly leads one into being an asshole.
Most women, as far as I've experienced, typically like confidence with a reasonable amount of assertiveness if the situation calls for taking a firm stand on/against an issue. It's usually when men clearly stop giving a shit about others, or become unreasonably hostile that it becomes a turn-off.
Not true for everyone, of course, just a generalization I've come to believe. It seems more like a spectrum thing rather than a black-and-white label, with "jerk" being the end that very few people find charming.
Most women, as far as I've experienced, typically like confidence with a reasonable amount of assertiveness if the situation calls for taking a firm stand on/against an issue. It's usually when men clearly stop giving a shit about others, or become unreasonably hostile that it becomes a turn-off.
Not true for everyone, of course, just a generalization I've come to believe. It seems more like a spectrum thing rather than a black-and-white label, with "jerk" being the end that very few people find charming.
I have never heard such an idea as true in all of my life. This is why it's Gentleman Jack, all the way.
Being a guy, I seem to be more attractive the more I care and give a shit and listen than otherwise. So that's my experience. If being a jerk is unattractive for ANY OTHER SOCIAL INTERACTION, I don't see how being a jerk in a romantic relationship would be different.
I'm honestly really confused by what you meant here. Do you mean that the people on this site are "regular people", but they're overemotional (even though most regular men aren't all that emotional)? I'unno man, you're confusing me.CandideWolf said:
Anyway.
OT: Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with, "some, but not all". I do have a friend who's a massive jerk whose gotten a shit ton of game, but from talking to him all of the women he's been with have all been rather despicable people, so even though I can say that jerks get a lot of women, the type of women they attract aren't the best kind of people, especially if you're looking for a long-term, trouble-free relationship. The only other type of chicks that jerks pick up easily are women with attachment problems and/or extremely low self esteem; i.e. women who don't feel complete unless they're in a relationship with SOMEONE (even if that person abuses them) or women who only hook up/date jerks because it means they're getting some attention, which makes them feel better about themselves.
Again?
Yeesh, "Parrots the old nice guys always finish last" "Agrees that not all women are like that by any means and the statement is brought up far to much""Resents and wishes he wasn't such a loser""Ends the converstation"
Look, in my personal experience I have never once dated anyone, but I can say with absolute certainty that even though alot of girls and women I've seen are attracted to...how shall I say this...drunken idiots, the majority of women are either not attracted at all to guys like that, or at least don't find them the only type of guy to be attractive, so the answer is simple, yeah some women are attracted to "jerks" but the ones that are do not represent the majority by any means, hell most girls I've seen attracted to such morons happen to be drunken idiots themselves, who would think that idiots are attracted to idiots? sheesh, can we just bury this already?
Yeesh, "Parrots the old nice guys always finish last" "Agrees that not all women are like that by any means and the statement is brought up far to much""Resents and wishes he wasn't such a loser""Ends the converstation"
Look, in my personal experience I have never once dated anyone, but I can say with absolute certainty that even though alot of girls and women I've seen are attracted to...how shall I say this...drunken idiots, the majority of women are either not attracted at all to guys like that, or at least don't find them the only type of guy to be attractive, so the answer is simple, yeah some women are attracted to "jerks" but the ones that are do not represent the majority by any means, hell most girls I've seen attracted to such morons happen to be drunken idiots themselves, who would think that idiots are attracted to idiots? sheesh, can we just bury this already?