Poll: Worst Weapon Against a Zombie

[Not-here-anymore]

Of the things listed here, a stapler. With a spoon you at least have a chance of stabbing through the eye into the brain, a twitter account can attract help, a battery could be used to set up some kind of electronic trap, and a pillow can at least be used to hold the zombie's mouth away from you. A book of sufficient size (and hardcover) could be used as a club of some kind.

Of things not listed here,

Believe it or not, a chainsaw. Think about it. A chainsaw kills only one at a time, in close combat, AND makes more noise than a gun, thus attracting more than you wind up killing. Plus, chainsaws use fuel quick enough that you're likely to run out before you've killed much.

This. (I just finished reading the zombie survival guide last night)

 

[Deadlock Radium]

I don't get why people think posting about it on Twitter is the worst weapon, if you post about it on Twitter, you can get backup from people with far better weapons.

 

[DeathChairOfHell]

everyone knows zombies are allergic to tomato sauce! i'll use the spoon and feed them with it and they die of allergic reactions!

 

[magicaxis]

bare hands

 

[mojomonky]

pre-cooked spaghetti

 

[captaincabbage]

Dude, flamethrower!

 

[sephiroth1991]

Te he posting about it on Twitter "A zombie is biting my neck"

OT:Math it can't help you against a zombie who is eating your brain

 

[Evilsanta]

Not that a bibel will help that much....But you can throw around a lot of one liners.

"The power of christ compels you *****!"

 

[faspxina]

definitely tomato sauce, I mean, tweeting about it seems pretty useless, but there's still a small chance of Bruce Campbell reading it and coming to save you, while tomato sauce, just does nothing... and there's the risk of mistaking blood for it, and that would be nasty..

 

[WaffleCopters]

My own bodily fluids. Because pissing on a zombie could end badly.

 

[Zero-Vash]

Your head. Headbutting zombies would be most ineffective.

 

[shaboinkin]

A road cone. It protects their heads after all.

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

Believe it or not, a chainsaw. Think about it. A chainsaw kills only one at a time, in close combat, AND makes more noise than a gun, thus attracting more than you wind up killing. Plus, chainsaws use fuel quick enough that you're likely to run out before you've killed much.

I second this, also the chains on chainsaws break easily and have to be changed nearly all the time

You must be using crappy chainsaws, I cut trees down weekly with my chainsaw and have yet to have to replace the chain, only sharpened it a few times. And I've owned my chainsaw for almost 5 years now.

 

[maturin]

An Exorcism.

 

[Taddy]

Water. Could you imagine it? (Sprays zombie with water) "THATS RIGHT! FEAR THE WATER! YOU'LL WRINKLE! THATS RIGHT! WRIIIIIIIINKLE!" At the end of the day though it'll end the same, zombie is wet, you're missing half a face..

 

[mr.aravaro]

It's not on the list but I would have to say nonviolent protest.

 

[Treblaine]

A stapler: can puncture the eyes, so not that bad
Spoon: deadlier than you'd think
Bible: VERY deadly if the zombies actually listen to it. Look at how deadly it's effects are on humans
Triple A Batteries: only a macgyverism away from an improvised tazer
CDs: ineffective though merit in how you are tempted to use them from a range as fisbees
Twitter: useless for you but you can warn others improving collective survival chances
Pillows: soak in water and it'll knock em over, plus very good at stopping them from biting. Then smother them to death.

Tomato Sauce: probably most useless, spill it on yourself and zombies will only find you more tasty

 

[Rarhnor]

A road cone

I hate to break it to ya, but...

Spoiler: Cones aren't to be messed with

 

[Cheesus333]

Believe it or not, a chainsaw. Think about it. A chainsaw kills only one at a time, in close combat, AND makes more noise than a gun, thus attracting more than you wind up killing. Plus, chainsaws use fuel quick enough that you're likely to run out before you've killed much.

I second this, also the chains on chainsaws break easily and have to be changed nearly all the time

Yeah, you guys are right. In a one-on-one zombie fight, I would rather have a pair of batteries with me than a friggin' chainsaw any day. I don't think you guys thought about the question very thoroughly :L

For me, it would be... blowing. As in making a circle with your mouth and exhaling a small gust in their faces. Can't imagine that would achieve much, unless they're somehow allergic to concentrated air.