Poll: Would you date an asexual person?

[game-lover]

I don't know.

Sex to me seems like an intricate part of a relationship in the non platonic and non familial sense. Even though I've never had sex before, I feel like if I were to really, really fall in love with someone, we would have to eventually have sex.

I may concede that friends can kiss. I mean, there seems to be all kinds of ways to kiss a person and not have it be anything more than a display of platonic or familial expression. But sex? You don't have sex with those kind of people in your life.

Even the random casual hookups are with people who are firmly not in the friends or family category. Not counting friends with benefits or sex buddies. But then that's not quite the ordinary average friendship, is it?

 

[Liberaliter]

Why would I be with someone and have a good time when I could be with someone and have a good time AND have sex.

 

[Leg End]

An asexual person definitely has some mommy or daddy issues that I wouldn't want to deal with, so no.

Where did you get that idea from? (O_O)

Something has obviously changed their nature, humans are sexual beings so something quite "devastating" has changed them to the point where they don't even derive pleasure from one of the most pleasurable experiences you can have. Like I said earlier, I wouldn't want to be with someone like that at all, what fun could you possibly have with a woman who doesn't want to be shagged...ever?

Or they were born/one day they were without the attraction. :/

I find pleasure in eating Hamburger Helper. >.>

You have obviously never met any women I know. :/

So you know a bunch of women who are asexual? Must be a rare location, because I know that sex runs in the back of almost all womens minds somewhere, at least the women I know. They all talk about it, I doubt they talk about it for no reason at all...

You must be in a dry area! )

Yes, many females whom are.

I am in a very cold area. Freezing my gnads off right now. (O_O)

 

[PsychedelicDiamond]

I am an asexual person. Or maybe not, anyway, i don't want to fuck people so there isn't really much of a difference. So... yeah, i probably would. An asexual woman would at least not ask why i have a headache everytime she's horny.

 

[aether-x3]

A relationship without Sex? I could live with that, cant miss what you've never had.

I'd be happy just to actually get a damn boyfriend. :u

 

[Leg End]

I'd be happy just to actually get a damn boyfriend. :u

Is this seat taken?

[sub]Though, Sakura is my only love. So, strictly business. [/sub]

 

[trooper6]

Date rapist? I think you grossly misread what I was telling her. And it was only friendly advice.

Also when I say stone, I mean the woman I was dating was utterly immobile during sex. She also wasn't in love with me and giving up sex to get free room, free food, free jewelry...blah blah...

Why in the world would you be having sex with a woman who was utterly immobile during sex? If she's not moving, how do you know she's actually giving consent? If you knew she was actually giving you consent, thus making you not a date rapist--but was only having sex for you for room, food, jewelry, but not actually into it, then why reduce yourself to a john/prostitute relationship? That would not have been a relationship I would have stayed in very long at all...certainly not long enough to have gotten to the free room and free jewelry area.

 

[Chogg Van Helsing]

I thought Asexual meant you reproduce yourself... Like strawberries... and amoeba...

 

[Verp]

An asexual person definitely has some mommy or daddy issues that I wouldn't want to deal with, so no.

Where did you get that idea from? (O_O)

Something has obviously changed their nature, humans are sexual beings so something quite "devastating" has changed them to the point where they don't even derive pleasure from one of the most pleasurable experiences you can have. Like I said earlier, I wouldn't want to be with someone like that at all, what fun could you possibly have with a woman who doesn't want to be shagged...ever?

You're talking out of your ass. Humans are complex and resilient beyond belief and sex isn't exactly some kind of magical life juice that you can't live without. Do you honestly think that the body of a person born in a way that makes them incapable of feeling sexual attraction goes like "OOPS, can't enjoy sex in the future, BETTER JUST DIE OFF THEN", I mean really?

Or, do you think that what makes us sexual is so sacred that it's immune to variation beyond a certain point? Children are born without the ability to feel pain, with conjoined brains, being allergic to water, without limbs, with internal organs mirrored, with both genitalia, brains that don't match their sex, inherently unable to recognise facial expressions, etc., and yet they're very capable of reaching maturity and having a decent quality of life -- being born without the ability to feel sexual attraction is small time.

You're highly overestimating the specialty and uniqueness of the things that make up human sexuality if you insist that asexuality cannot develop naturally, without some kind of drastic interruption from humans.

 

[trooper6]

It doesn't matter why a person is asexual. Choice, Nature, Nurture. Doesn't matter. A person who is asexual is asexual and that is all I need to know. I respect their asexuality. This means, that I will not pressure an asexual person for sex. I respect other people's boundaries. Things that don't affect me, don't affect me and are really none of my business--but when we enter into the realm of me dating an asexual person, then it does become partly my business.

Sex is not something they enjoy, and not something they want in their romantic relationships.
Sex is something I enjoy, and is something I want in my romantic relationships.

I respect us both, however, not to date someone who I am incompatible with. And the sex this is a compatibility issue.
The asexual person and I could form a deep and meaningful enduring friendship, however.

Now, I'm no horndog. Heck, I haven't had sex in nine years--because I've been single all that time. And I am fine. However, I am not asexual, and were I to enter into a romantic relationship, it would have to include physical intimacy. But this is no judgement on the asexual person, and no judgement on me. It is about what I want in a relationship.

I also wouldn't be in a long distance relationship. It isn't my thing.
And I wouldn't be in a relationship with a person who was anti-feminist.
I wouldn't be in a relationship who was a devout religious person.
I wouldn't date a person who is a Republican.
I wouldn't date a person who likes things ironically.

This is about knowing who I am and am not compatible with, who I want to potentially spend the rest of my life with and potentially raise kids with, and who I want to go to bed with and wake up in the morning with. It is important that any relationship I'm in is good and healthy and satisfying for all the parties involved. If that isn't going to work out for one or both or all of us, then it is only responsible of me not to start that relationship.

 

[Communist partisan]

I would be with her but screw others, she can't get pissed if you think on the situation, right?

 

[Saviordd1]

Let's say you meet an asexual guy/girl who is heteromantic/homoromantic (Depending on your gender/sexual orientation). The two of you get along great and develop feelings for each other, do you think you could engage in a long term relationship with someone even if the two of you will probably never have sex?

Absolutely, done it before, it just requires some work, and alone time every once and then

 

[trooper6]

Date rapist? I think you grossly misread what I was telling her. And it was only friendly advice.

Also when I say stone, I mean the woman I was dating was utterly immobile during sex. She also wasn't in love with me and giving up sex to get free room, free food, free jewelry...blah blah...

Why in the world would you be having sex with a woman who was utterly immobile during sex? If she's not moving, how do you know she's actually giving consent? If you knew she was actually giving you consent, thus making you not a date rapist--but was only having sex for you for room, food, jewelry, but not actually into it, then why reduce yourself to a john/prostitute relationship? That would not have been a relationship I would have stayed in very long at all...certainly not long enough to have gotten to the free room and free jewelry area.

Because it was my first relationship, and I wasn't aware of these things at the time. They became more apparent after we broke up.

I'm really sorry you were in such a sucky and unhealthy relationship. My first relationship was also super sucky and unhealthy--just in a different way. The gal I was with wasn't asexual, she was a violent, manipulative, selfish, controlling alcoholic who was cheating on me. Actually it was a bit more complicated than that--she was actually cheating on me and with me--and that relationship didn't last very long...though longer than it should have (I was young).

Anyway, the reason why your advice to the gal to just fake it is such bad advice is because if the girl is faking it, that is not a girl someone should be dating. Better to know up front so you can end that relationship sooner rather than later.

 

[The .50 Caliber Cow]

Sex is too much fun for me to give up.

[sub]Moo...[/sub]

 

[KarlMonster]

I'd like to thank those of you who occupy the asexual end of the spectrum (as well as a few open-minded contributors, whom I would have to name individually to properly identify - which I won't do), for your open and honest replies, explanations, and anecdotal evidence. Your opinions and experience constitute information that I was unaware of. The candor and openness you have shown is much more convincing, to me, than the "ah needs me some poon" provided by others (whom I am not addressing).

Thank you very much for sharing.

 

[bdcjacko]

I'd like to thank those of you who occupy the asexual end of the spectrum (as well as a few open-minded contributors, whom I would have to name individually to properly identify - which I won't do), for your open and honest replies, explanations, and anecdotal evidence. Your opinions and experience constitute information that I was unaware of. The candor and openness you have shown is much more convincing, to me, than the "ah needs me some poon" provided by others (whom I am not addressing).

Thank you very much for sharing.

So needing poon isn't a legitimate answer?

 

[William MacKay]

there would be no attraction, so no. but i would be friends with them (my friend group is very openly sexual) however, the same situation applies to people with severe OCD. no touchy, just friend-y.

 

[Carboncrown]

A caring relationship without sex is a friendship. Simple as that.

 

[Sejs Cube]

The problem I have with that post is that it seems to assume that wanting sex is fine, but not wanting sex isn't, and that kind of reasoning often comes hand-in-hand with the idea that asexuals are just "holding out" on their partners for the hell of it and are therefore "selfish" because they refuse to give sexual people the amount sex they want. My point's just that it's no more selfish to not want sex in a relationship than it is to want sex in one; both are the result of things that people mostly can't control, and while it's one thing to say you can't be compatible with a person who doesn't fit your needs and refuses to let you find other ways to fulfill them, it's another to say they're selfish only because they refuse to ignore their biology, just so they can fulfill your desires. The latter goes both ways.

[sub]You'll have to pardon the late reply and all, seems the thread has kept moving.[/sub]


Actually it looks like you were too busy being offended to see the point I was trying to get it. Or maybe I just stated it poorly. Whichever. I wasn't saying that [A] is selfish to do but is perfectly okay. What I was getting at was the idea that, presuming an existing relationship, either side saying that "Because I am this way, then you must also be this way regardless of your own desires on the subject" is selfish.

To use non-sexual analogies, I am a vegan for ethical reasons therefor you must be a vegan for ethical reasons as well. I am Jewish, therefor you must also be Jewish. I am left handed, therefor you must also be left handed. Admittedly these are sloppy comparisons largely because unlike the sexuality issue, they aren't a core component of the assumed relationship.

It's pretty much on the level of being in a relationship with someone and when things progress to a certain point them telling you nope, no can do, they're actually gay. It's very difficult to see a relationship surviving past a hurdle like that.