Poll: You are holding the world ransom. What are your demands?

[Neo10101]

Well, Im not going to go into a political debate, but I would request a rather large shift on how certaian finances have been and cut up a lot of red tape that has been made, oh and "deal with" Snookie from the Jersey Shore, what the fuck is wrong with her, a dumb ass like her is writing a book now?

 

[IzisviAziria]

Despite often acting like a dick, I wouldn't be able to pass up the ability to fix the world. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I went with material gain rather than saving and improving the lives of millions.

I'd abolish war, pro-violence groups (I'm aware of the hypocrisy, but sometimes it's the only way forward), and African Warlords/South American crime cartels. I'd also clear out all organised crime, and pump tons of money from the wealthy into poorer regions. I'd keep most governments active and in control, but I'd have complete power. So if I want to make any other demands they will be met.

all of those things are unfortunate evils that exist due to mankind's inherent inability to fucking behave. tell them to stop, "or else," and you'll just have to go with "or else."

 

[lacktheknack]

Total disarmament with thorough scrubs of every country, government workers cannot make more than five times the country's average wage, a decent cup of hot chocolate from coffee shops.

 

[Caligulove]

I would hold the world ransom by threatening to crash the moon into the Earth.

My demand is a sequel to Citizen Kane to be written, as a buddy cop film that involves a Monkey and time travel- and not just for it to be good, but to bring tears to the masses' eyes. If it can be done, I would happily spend the rest of my life in jail, or be dead- as I have clearly seen the pinnacle of what Humans are capable of given impossible task with no room for failure

 

[TyranidXX]

How I'd do it: I'll go with the simple steal all nukes and aim them at large population centers.

My Demands: That I be made ruler of the world so I may then fix up everything possible and then improve life. I also reserve the right to shoot (and kill) anyone if I so desire.

 

[Jaythulhu]

More muffins. I, your Supreme Leader, demand MORE MUFFINS!

Oh, and an end to "reality" tv.

Oh oh, and a new Police Academy movie.

 

[The Code]

I would release a self-adapting computer virus onto the internet to render the defense systems of the globe inoperable, then take control of every active nuclear missile silo and threaten to detonate one warhead every day until my demands are met.

What are my demands? The starting list is rather simple. All governments dissolve and come together under my leadership. I hate taking a leadership role in almost everything, but politicians and world leaders these days are blind and deaf to the pains of the common man, especially here in the United States of America. Once control has been reestablished under me, the world will no longer be split by the notion of borders and will join together as one world. Scientific research will be realigned toward the improvement of mankind as a whole, and, well... I'd just try and make things better to the best of my abilities.

 

[P.Tsunami]

My demand is no one buy Fable IV. No one even download and play the darn game whenever it comes out. Peter Molyneux could stand to be taken down a peg or six.

 

[Omikron009]

I would hold the world ransom for...ahem:

 

[WolfEdge]

Well, I suppose I could... wait no, no that would topple the world economy and leave me penniless in the long run...
...I mean... I could totally end war and poverty and... well, that really is an impossible thing, all things considered. War is a by-product of humanity, and there will always be a top and bottom rung when it comes to wealth... and trying to develop a single international currency would fail horribly due to inflation problems and resource availability... and if I make myself supreme overlord, how long before I'm assassinated by my evil son and replaced, thus throwing the world into a thousand years of darkness - A darkness which could only be destroyed by a destined hero who's birth had been foretold many, many moons ago - simultaneously pitting a rag-tag group of plucky rebels on an adventure to end the tyrants' reign of terror thus restoring peace to the world...?

...

You know what? Fuck it. Fuck this nuke, fuck this death-drill, and fuck these fricken sharks with fricken lazers attached to their heads. Screw you guys, I'm goin' home.

*Plays Pokemon with a blanket over his head*

 

[Ldude893]

"Greetings, Earth. I am sitting in a gigantic moon-shape battle station orbiting right above the planet capable of unimaginable destruction. I will blow up the world and everyone on it unless the following things occur:

-The Church of Scientology is shut down.
-The Chinese communist government is replaced by a democratic one and all political prisoners are released.
-The entire Republican party is disbanded and the Tea Party be sprayed with dark coffee.
-Half Life 2 Episode 3 comes out.

Additionally, I demand that all members of the Flat Earth Society be handed over to me. I will show those fools the roundness of the Earth and quell their outdated ideals.

And don't even think about firing missiles at us, we have a shield generator on the moon protecting us from any kind of damage. I await your reply; the deadline is 30 days. "

 

[havass]

So...you're declaring ransom from the kidnappee? That's..rather stupid, if I say so myself. Still, my demands would be to have complete freedom in every country in the world.

 

[Ultress]

My Demands: A movie where Alison Lowhman and Ellen Paige go around beating up the Popes army of Ninja Zombie Pirates in Italy while wearing Bikinis and occasionally wrestle in Jello. Also it has to have Bruce cambpell so up at one point and be directed by Sam Remei. Oh and the obligatory 1 million Dollors


My Method: Everyone will get themselves a very stern letter.