Poll: You get a free wish (from an asshole genie)

[Agarth]

I'd wish there were no genies to begin with. How you going to screw me with that one, Jack?

 

[JamesStone]

I wish you(Genie) weren't an asshole anymore. (Let's see him turn that around.)

Then he would just be a bigger asshole, instead of a normal one.

 

[aei_haruko]

I wish to never see or hear the genie again. Easy.

blind and deaf, ouch

 

[aei_haruko]

If I had to make a wish, I would wish for one US penny. Just a single little penny, placed on the ground in front of me. He'd have to bend the rules pretty damn far to make that one cause harm. I'd almost say you can't turn that one into something detrimental, but I wanna see if anyone here can. >)

made of urainium, keep trying

 

[aei_haruko]

I'd wish there were no genies to begin with. How you going to screw me with that one, Jack?

al genies turn into atomic bombs, they aren't genies, are they?

 

[James Joseph Emerald]

I worded it so that I have to consider it an improvement with no downsides, it not actually being an improvement is a downside.

Yes, and you would consider it an improvement with no downsides. For about five seconds. See, you never specified the amount of time you have to "consider it an improvement."
And if you say "for the rest of my life", then I'd make it an extremely minor improvement (because you never specified how much of an improvement).

See how it works?

 

[aei_haruko]

GENIE! I DEMAND YOUR FINEST TURKEY SAMMICH!!!

it's made of tofu.
DUHHHN DUHHHN DUHHHN!

GENIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! *Falls to knees, shakes fists in air, swears vengeance if it costs the lives of every other human being on the planet*

I wish for that man to have his vengeance.

There. I can't see this having any negative repurcusions whatsoever.

sarcasm? Every other person dies

 

[aei_haruko]

I wish you would go away. I don't know what he will do to mess it up but it seems like the best choice.

he sends his twin brother to be an asshole back at you

 

[C95J]

This comic sums it up pretty well.

haha that's hilarious

Made my day, thank you.

 

[aei_haruko]

What would happen if I wished for immortality? Yeah, I'm original like that.

then you'd live through anything, including being nothing but bones, you'd just havean eternal pain forever, no afterlife f you believe in it

 

[aei_haruko]

My wish would be really simple like: I wish for a small cup of water to be put on the ground beside me.

the cup is made of sodium...
and the water is poisined
and by "cup" he mean jock strap

 

[aei_haruko]

I would wish that no matter what, when I wished to buy something, I could reach into my whatever I'm wearing pocket and pull out the exact change every time no matter how expensive. That way I wouldn't be wishing for a million dollars and have to worry about it. This might backfire somehow, but seems good right now.

the change has plastic explosives on the inside and you blow your hand off...?

 

[wulfy42]

I wish that you have never and will never (might count as two wishes) existed in any shape or form and all effects caused by your existence will be reversed as well.

Should not only take care of the genie, but also reverse all the horrible things it has done in the past as well....saving all those other people from torment etc.


or


I wish any wishes you grant can only have beneficial effects (based on the wishers perspective) on the person making the wish and those they care about as well.

The second one might be a bit risky, but could allow you to possibly make some wishes safely. Perhaps wishing the second one first.......and then making the first wish would help prevent any loopholes being found in the first wish.

 

[MonocleClaire]

"You're not going to turn me into a Puella Magi and make me fight the tortured remnants of the souls of teenage girls while struggling to keep myself alive and stave off the heat death of the universe, right?"

 

[tzimize]

If I understand it correctly the genie disappears and cannot influence the world after the wish, so I guess I'd wish I knew the next winning numbers of the EU lottery jackpot or something.

Realistically one of the best things to have in life is a lot of cash and there is not many ways that can be fucked up.

I'd wish for the genie to turn its form into an STD-free, infertile, otherwise perfectly safe to bone and very attractive human female for my first wish. Second wish is that the genie will come and go as I will it to do so in a manner that is acceptable to me. No third wish.

Then I would simply use the genie for sex. It wants to fuck me over, I will fuck it over.

Awesome. Only get one wish though.

 

[somonels]

Depends on whose asshole I'll have to rub. I'll likely give it a pass.

 

[jthm]

NOTE: No, you can't wish for more wishes, nor can you wish for the ability to grant wishes or other reality-altering powers. Just... no.

Well then it just becomes a game of corrupt a wish.

I was going to wish for reality altering powers without limitations on my person, powers or freedoms. That'd be my wish in a nutshell.

Granted! You did not wish to be able to control those powers, however, so you just blew up the planet. Sorry!

What makes you think I wasn't going to do that anyway?

 

[RaNDM G]

I'd wish that for all future wishes it makes, the genie wouldn't act like an asshole.

CAPTCHA's trying to make me do math now.

 

[BlackStar42]

I'd get a contract lawyer to ensure that there are no possible loopholes in my wish. Then wish for more genies.

 

[FalloutJack]

You know what? I have another wish, and it's just too good for the asshole genie not to play straight.