Poll: You now have the ability to travel through time.

[MidnightSt]

1. repair what I did wrong in my former relationship (if possible, which is not really certain)
2. go look at far future to see if it resembles star-trek even a little

 

[BOOM headshot65]

I dont think I would go back and change history, because I am a firm believer that changing history can make things worse, not better (See 1:16-2:51 [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVNwMEWTFV4]) However, I would go back just to research things and get hard to find objects when they came out. Noteworthy instances include:

2 BCE: Go to Israel and find Jesus
1885: Invest in Carnagie Steel Inc, then jump to 1888 and sell stock for massive profit.
1895: Invest in JP Morgon and Co, then jump to 1900 and sell stock for massive profit.
1964: Get a 1964 Chevy C-10 [http://static.cargurus.com/images/site/2008/07/23/16/09/1964_chevrolet_c10-pic-7307.png]
1969: Get a 1969 Plymouth Roadrunner [http://www.seriouswheels.com/pics-1960-1969/1969-Plymouth-Roadrunner-440-6-blu-sy.jpg]
1970: Punch a Hippie in the face (need to get that out of my system, to hell with "will change the future.")
1981: Check out life in Reagan Years. Invest in horse races/etc with future sport almanacs (thank you "Back to the Future.")
1989: Go and meet my Hero, Temple Grandin. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Grandin]
2014: Start corperation selling timetravel to researchers. I will be guide and make sure they dont change anything, simple research. Live out life in a custom Earth-Contact house [http://www.undergroundhomes.com/earthhome1.jpg](I'm paranoid about tornados, ok?), me driving my classic, brand-new muscle cars/trucks, and being philanthropic (ie, giving blood, giving money, open my home for foster care, building schools, etc.) Since we are already dreaming things up here, I will be living with my current girlfriend as my wife (that is a given already), with both of our wishes in terms of children coming true (she has her twins, I have my one daughter and one son) at the same time. And finally, going to be one of the only times I break my "dont change the past" rule...
2030: Get machines that create Gasoline from CO2 and other gases. Take back to Present. ????. Profit!!....and never run out of fuel for my cars/trucks.

 

[John the Gamer]

Go back in time and take pictures of Jezus and Muhammed so we can all stop bitching about what they look like. Perhaps also do some interviews so we can get their oppinions on stuff straight.

Maybe getting written proof from their prophet will convince the taliban/al-qaida that they're REALLY not acting like muslims at all. Same goes for Christian extremists of course.

 

[ParanoidEngineer]

Go and find Jesus and watch the feeding of the five-thousand, because religion still makes me confused and I've thought about it non-stop all my life, and if he can perform miracles, Christianity is right, and if he can't, one religion down...

 

[Canadamus Prime]

first of all i would rewrite the Bible (get rid of Genesis and most of the stories but keep the morals and such)

Don't forget to add in a chapter/book/whatever about accepting those that have different beliefs than you and not forcing your beliefs on other people.
Heck, why not add that into the religious scriptures of all religions.

OT: As for me, I'd go back and make sure I'm seen and photographed at all major historical events just to mess with time travel conspiracy theorists.

 

[dimensional]

I am confuzzled.

2 of the poll options seems to defy the second rule. How can I "perform justice" or "change a major event" if I'm not allowed to "change anyone's fate".

Yeah basically it means you cant do anything as there is always a knock on effect and someone elses fate will change if yours does and if there fate changed because you changed it then thats what happened anyway and nothing has changed but im just being pedantic.

Go back in time and take pictures of Jezus and Muhammed so we can all stop bitching about what they look like. Perhaps also do some interviews so we can get their oppinions on stuff straight.

Maybe getting written proof from their prophet will convince the taliban/al-qaida that they're REALLY not acting like muslims at all. Same goes for Christian extremists of course.

dont think people will care what Jezus has to say ;-) whos he a nobody thats who he just has a similar name to someone much more famous. Anyway unless you speak ancient hebrew or whatever language they spoke (probably wrong on ancient hebrew I honestly have no idea what language they spoke maybe a roman dialect as well?) I dont think you would get much out of an interview and im not sure if they could write or not, even supposing they could odds are no one would believe you anyway and I wouldnt want to put myself in the firing line of the al queda or christian extremists and tell them they are worshipping the wrong way but I guess if you could freely move through time you would be kind of safe.

Anyway what would I do well I would try and start up my own religion for lols impressing the masses with my superior knowledge of science and get them to worship a copy of big rigs over the road racing telling them that it is the greatest of treasures.

Then I would see how far back in time I could go to see if there is a beginning and or end of it.

 

[e033x]

Bring a fuckton og reading material on science and technology to, say, 900 C.E, and teach it to some responsible people. Jump back and see how much more technological advances have happened since then in our time.

I could also try to stop the shooter in Sarajevo, possibly removing both 1st. and 2nd. World War from history. Yes Franz Ferdinand would still die, according to the rules, but perhaps only of a motoring accident or something, which means Austria would lose their Casus Belli on Serbia.

 

[Violator[xL]]

I'd totally dick around with major events while gaining power and money. Perhaps covered under a deceptive coat of justice.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Hey, after reading a few other's posts I thought of something else. Can I bring people through time with me? If so, I'd go back and get Jesus and then bring him to the present and have him personally tell Christian extremists what tools they're being and that they've totally f*cked up his message.

 

[dimensional]

first of all i would rewrite the Bible (get rid of Genesis and most of the stories but keep the morals and such)

Don't forget to add in a chapter/book/whatever about accepting those that have different beliefs than you and not forcing your beliefs on other people.
Heck, why not add that into the religious scriptures of all religions.

You guys are getting too elaborate and making work for yourselves all you have to do is reinsert the missing preface page something along the lines of `dedicated to my darling trudy a collection of short stories collated from many of my works all characters and events within are fictitious and any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental`.

 

[The_Waspman]

I'd go back to Whitechapel in 1888 and murder me some hookers.

Then I'd be able to claim to know exactly who Jack the Ripper was.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

first of all i would rewrite the Bible (get rid of Genesis and most of the stories but keep the morals and such)

Don't forget to add in a chapter/book/whatever about accepting those that have different beliefs than you and not forcing your beliefs on other people.
Heck, why not add that into the religious scriptures of all religions.

You guys are getting too elaborate and making work for yourselves all you have to do is reinsert the missing preface page something along the lines of `dedicated to my darling trudy a collection of short stories collated from many of my works all characters and events within are fictitious and any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental`.

Yeah, but doing that could have the effect of removing it's influence on the world. We (or at least I) don't want to do that, we (I) just want to manipulate it's influence.

 

[dimensional]

You guys are getting too elaborate and making work for yourselves all you have to do is reinsert the missing preface page something along the lines of `dedicated to my darling trudy a collection of short stories collated from many of my works all characters and events within are fictitious and any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental`.

Yeah, but doing that could have the effect of removing it's influence on the world. We (or at least I) don't want to do that, we (I) just want to manipulate it's influence.

Ok but adding new chapters and shit is a tad risky odds are it would be butchered and cut and generally messed around with until it makes no sense and thats before the translations of the translations of the translations basically whats happened to it already especially the old testament dear god (pun intended) what is with the continuity in that its all over the place one thing happens next we are 500 years later then we read some excerpts then we are with another guy for no reason wtf. No the best choice would be to start your own religion if you wanted to change it I know this goes against rule no.2 but so does everything else. Plus if you start your own religion you could say you will revisit every hundred years or so to make sure your instructions are being followed and make good on that promise with your new found time travelling powers.

 

[DrDuckman]

Seriously, I am shocked that all of you are handed godhood and choose to just get money out of it. Where is the ambition?

I would propably start with making myself insanely rich with Lotto numbers, making sure to not change history too much doing it, cause I need it to be predicable for the next step.

Next, spend a year of two on survival training with the best teachers in the modern world... modern, cause the ancient world is likely to get me killed.

Once I am ready, I will start travelling to the future, one year at a time, or six months, depending on how easy and fast it is to travel. I will keep going, ensuring my fortune remains massive through banking, until I am able to acquire my goal, clinical immortality. Once I am unable to die through old age, I will procure some protection in case of violence or accident, either cybernetic/bionic/biotic augmentation, or something like a Crysis suit. Anything that keeps me safe psychically, and is easy to conceal.

At this point, I'll probably spend the next 50-100 years travelling the past, experiencing history, gathering perspective on the human race. Eventually once I get bored, I'll start going towards the future, slowly, to space travel, even more power etc. I'll probably establish myself as the ruler of the human race to ensure their progress follows my design, but only if I have to.

Once space travel is possible, I will travel the universe, becoming progressively more powerful and experiencing everything the universe has to offer. I will only interfere if I need to stop something cataclysmic. I will witness the Big Bang. Eventually I'll probably travel to the end of this universal cycle, maybe to the next Big Bang, or maybe I'll transcend this existence as we know it.

So yeah, that's what you do when you are handed ultimate power... you dont just use to make sound investment decisions.

 

[C F]

Welp.
Me, myself, and I, we're going to sit down and formulate a planner.

C F Mafia, comprised solely of me via time loops. I'd seed myself into every key event in United States history. Maybe I'll screw around with other countries, maybe not.
I'd win the lottery at least once or twice.
I might even acquire the United States presidency for the heck of it.

There's probably only one event I'd ever take seriously, and that would be the death of Jesus. I would go and observe that solemnly, and maybe even back up further along for more of his public sermons. If there are any noteworthy details, I will take note them. Then it's back to the later years, where everything's fair game.

My timeline will be a schizophrenically threaded knot in an exercise to see how many critical points I can touch and how often I can make one line intersect itself.

 

[Prof. Monkeypox]

I'd try to date Audry Hepburn.


...maybe that'd fall under Dick Around...

 

[Heronblade]

Bit of a laundry list:

-Skip forward in time by ten year periods. Acquire digital copies of any useful information and tech. If stable memory imprints ever pop up for the sake of learning information, I'd be using that while I'm there.
-Record important events in history, from the life of Yeshua, to the earliest human settlements, to whatever the heck was going on with that freaky guy Rasputin.
- build a hidden storage vault in the past where I can store artifacts. May not be able to take things with me, but I might be able to put them somewhere I can find them once again. The scrolls lost in the multiple burnings of the library of Alexandria would be big on the list, as would the preserved bodies of multiple important extinct species (won't be killing them myself, just grave and/or dinnerplate robbing)

Cash would not be the primary goal, but all three should let me get plenty of it to fund more and more elaborate expeditions.

I might make the time for some dicking around, but I'd make no major changes. For instance, I might go to a certain German bunker in 1945 and perform testicular manslaughter on a certain worm "destined" to commit suicide shortly afterwards...

 

[Heronblade]

Go back to 2nd Century Rome and kill Emperor Constantine.

Anyone who knows ancient history at all should know what that will do.

CAPTCHA: Meet Your Waterloo
You know Valve, there's a point where this becomes stupid.

Yeah, most likely nothing good.
Roman Empire collapses early, plunging the world into the dark ages well ahead of schedule, and this time, the early Catholic church is not present to preserve Rome's knowledge and provide common ground for the people of Eurasia, meanwhile the Muslims are not yet in possession of that information either.

Even highly corrupt institutions have their uses. Don't be too quick to discard them out of hand.