Poll: You wake up tied to a chair...

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lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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CaptainMarvelous said:
lacktheknack said:
The point was "if forced, which button would you press", yes.

And you'd sit it out and not press anything? A common answer, one I don't get.
You created a pretty detailed scenario for such a fundamental choice though o.o such as which arm is free and what's tying you down, it feels like there should BE an escape route not listed or a way around the problem from the detail.

And at least from my perspective I can't see a means to choose a button. I don't know what either one does I don't know the intention of the person who put me here, it's an arbitrary choice which for all I know could kill me that much quicker than waiting. 3 days of thinking for an alternative (which doesn't exist but assuming we don't know that) or a 50% chance of making the wrong choice and suffering the consequences. Seems logical to me at least, I don't know if this is everyone else's reasoning.
The reason I went so detailed was to AVOID the "take a fourth option" posts. I didn't get rid of all of them, but there's fewer than in most dilemma threads. Also, because writing scenarios is fun.

And I'm not trying to deliver a means of figuring out which button to press, or prove that it's arbitrary, or anything like that. I just want to make a situation where there's a critical moment where you must press a button, and the ONLY difference is the words "do not". It's mostly for fun, so don't overthink it.

Or, overthink it as much as you like. Logic streams are fun to read.
 

Redlin5_v1legacy

Better Red than Dead
Aug 5, 2009
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T'would seem this is the Red Button all over again... I choose starvation, probably a better way to die than getting biebered.
 

Souplex

Souplex Killsplosion Awesomegasm
Jul 29, 2008
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I'd break the chair so I had a decent sized stick, and use it to push both buttons simultaneously.
Ha! I beat your "Out of reach" clause.
 

RN7

New member
Oct 27, 2009
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The option gives me the bananas. Because no one ever expects the bananas. It's such an obvious answer that I don't even see why whoever posed it is asking.
 

drisky

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Mar 16, 2009
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To me, this seems like someones trying to test peoples DnD alignment between law and chaos. With nothing to go on do you follow orders or question them. I'd probably go with the one that tells me to. But you should really never go against a Sicilian with death is on the line.
 

General Vagueness

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Feb 24, 2009
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You left a pretty big opening, you didn't specify what's with us. I could say I'd get my cell phone from my pocket and call 911. I'd think someone that would do this would take it though, or at least break it or take the battery or put me somewhere with no reception.
After this is what I would do, in order, assuming there's been no response to the previous steps and my cell phone is gone or can't make calls (or receive them, since if I went missing, people would try to call me).

ask what's going on and where I am
try to get my cell phone
find it isn't there or doesn't work
ask what's going on again and why I'm here
somewhere around here I'd notice my surroundings including the buttons
call for help (that is, yell for help) for a few minutes
think about my situation-- I'd be doing that the whole time but more so starting at this point
ask that whoever did this doesn't hurt me, or my family, or my friends, or hopefully anyone at all-- ask, but not beg
ask which button to press
they could want anything, they could want me to ask which button to press, or ask they don't hurt me, or call for help, or be defiant, or even say that I won't give them whatever satisfaction they might be looking for; any of it could be what they want, so instead of saying I won't give them their satisfaction, I'd say I don't want to give them their satisfaction, don't intend to, and will try not to
yell and scream for help every few hours or every hour or as often as I think is reasonable, and try to get out of the chair, since I don't know how feasible it is
if I have my phone and it works aside from calling people I'd play Reversi every now and then-- sudoku is more stress than I'd need in this situation
wait until I feel-- or know, from some outside source or the watch I think I'm getting for Christmas or my working-but-unable-to-make-or-receive-calls cell phone-- that two days and a few hours have passed-- it takes roughly three days to die of dehydration
ask to be let go, or to get some information (where am I, who are you, what's the deal with the buttons, etc.), or at least some water, and ask that I don't get hurt and no one else does either
wait a little while
yell for help
maybe try to jerk it, it would depend on a few things
think back on my life wistfully
yell for help again
if I have my phone and it works aside from calling people I'd try to record some semblance of a last will and testament-- I don't think it would be legally binding but it might help my family, if I die and they get ahold of it
yell for help one more time
check for my wallet; assuming I still have it with me, get it out, assign one button to heads and one to tails, and flip a coin-- I might do it multiple times, especially if I find myself not liking the outcome I get
if I don't have my wallet I might try to emulate a coin flip with my phone or my glasses or whatever I can move
if I can't flip or toss anything... eenie meenie minie moe

...then I'd press whichever button got selected, and then it would be the mystery person's move. I'd find out what happens. What would horrify me the most is if nothing happened. If nothing seemed to happen within, IDK, half an hour, I'd try to press the other button and/or open the cover(s) on the button(s). If that didn't get me anywhere I'd ask one more time what was going on and why, and then continue yelling for help every once in a while until I pass out.

From there, there would effectively be three possibilities, which would obviously be out of my hands, although one or more of my previous choices might influence or even decide which one happens.
1. I die
2. someone helps me
3. someone keeps me alive and restrained, or otherwise under their control

With the first two it's over one way or another. If the last one happens it's pretty much become a "regular" kidnapping situation and I'd try to do what I can to get away, within reason, while trying to keep to the principles I live by.
 

Strazdas

Robots will replace your job
May 28, 2011
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Press this button.
there is no reason why i should not follow the instructions. If the logic is to be followed, over 90% of deaths occur because people fail to follow instructions.
on the other hand, reverse psychology, the captor may think i want to be angry and disobey, and thats why obeying is good.
not pissing off the captor is a good thing too.

there is however a very sad chance that the captor may consider me "sheep people" and think that following instructions is bad. He is mad after all.
 

Gottesstrafe

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Oct 23, 2010
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Come on guys, don't you remember the last time we saw a bright red button on the Escapist that said "Do Not Press"?
 

Whateveralot

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Oct 25, 2010
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At first, I'd laugh and realise I should stop drinking tequila.

After hilarity fades off, I will attempt to break as much as I can. Preferably the chair on which I sit, seeing that it's not locked onto the floor.

If breaking the chair fails, I'd break the counter / console which holds the buttons to see what I can do from there.

Jamash said:
I don't think attempting to disembowel yourself with your free hand would retain honour.

*snip*
That was hilarious. Thank you, you made my day.
 

Mauler

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Jul 11, 2012
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Do not press would be my choice this time because i pressed the other one last time and they said:''Good job citizen your loyality and non sedition level has been acceptable you are dissmised" and then I died so its the other one for me ... Whait wat was the question again?
 

smithy_2045

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Jan 30, 2008
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I'd wait and see what happened if I didn't press a button, but before dying I'd probably push the press this button button.
 

MrShowerHead

New member
Jun 28, 2010
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Well, I would start by pressing the button which I'm told to press, but just as I'm about to do it, I'd realize how stupid that would be and decide the press the forbidden one. But just as I'm about to press that one, I'd realize that this is exactly what the mastermind behind my capture would want me to do, so I'd most likely end up jumping between the two buttons until my brain can't handle it anymore and I'd slip into coma.

So I'd say I win
 

mikeybuthge

New member
Apr 28, 2010
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Jokes on my captor, I always tie myself to a dentists chair alone for bed, Id undress as well as I can, spank it, and fall asleep
 

Evil Smurf

Admin of Catoholics Anonymous
Nov 11, 2011
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easy:
1. Open console
2. sv_cheats 1
3. noclip
4. I'm free!

Alternately think about who I could have pissed off, if it it nobody it could be my girlfriend being kinky. I press "Press the Button"
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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Evil Smurf said:
easy:
1. Open console
2. sv_cheats 1
3. noclip
4. I'm free!
Wouldn't that make you fall through the floor and die, though? (The only noclip I've used is Commander Keen, which didn't alter gravity.)