Eamar said:
As a feminist who watches porn, I'd be pretty hypocritical if I believed porn was, in and of itself, sexist. I'm sure arguments could be made that some porn is sexist, but personally so long as everyone involved has given informed consent I couldn't care less what they get up to.
Sexual fantasy is a strange, strange thing. You do have to bear in mind that the "violent" porn several have mentioned is not watched exclusively by men... Rape is one of the most common female sex fantasies (**DISCLAIMER** I am not in any way saying that women actually want to be raped or that rape is ever acceptable. The fantasy rape I'm referring to bears little resemblance to the real thing, and since the women involved are fantasising about it the sex they're imagining isn't really "rape" at all **/DISCLAIMER**) It's an extension of general submissiveness in sex, which is something that appeals to a lot of people, many of whom you'd never expect it from (I've heard that people who are sexually submissive are often pretty dominant in day to day life).
So yeah, porn is designed to fulfil fantasies. Some of these fantasies may seem unsavoury to people who do not share them, but that doesn't make them wrong. Just so long as everything is consensual. Can't emphasise that enough.
[small]As for myself, well... despite all my feminist views I'd be lying if I said I'd never been turned on by "rough" porn[/small]
Gotta say, very thoughtful and insightful post on the matter. Just had to respond.
What do you feel are the
origins of the phenomenon of the "female rape fantasy?" Some might argue there's a natural component (as in many species, males are dominant -- even forceful -- during mating), while others might argue that it's a result of some of the 'social programming' we've put women through in our culture.
You suggest that it's a subversion of one's everyday personality -- kind of "breaking out of your normal role." This leans more on the idea that the fantasy is
socially influenced. To me, that means the door is wide open for the self-fulfilling prophecy to take root.
A woman is expected, by (the darker side of) Society, to not be a sex-seeking creature. But she should, of course, remain sex-
serving. This is ingrained in her from an early age. (Make no mistake, Disney sells sex. It's just fully clothed and more colorful.) As a woman naturally discovers her own sexuality, perhaps feeling a bit of socially-induced shame (even subconsciously), the "rape fantasy" provides an outlet. She can indulge that side of her desires while not having to view herself as initiating.
Over time, she also learns (through even casual exposure to porn) that men like certain things -- submissive women, being "conquerors," etc. -- so she might feel that these avenues are her best shot of "scratching that itch" for herself. (It's no big secret that, as empathetic creatures, our desires are at least partially shaped by what we believe the other party's reaction will be.)
All this is to say, is it possible that some of these fantasies, while not necessarily destructive in and of themselves, are an outgrowth of the negative social pressures of the system?
