Positively smashing untrue facts.

[Owyn_Merrilin]

The plural of Surgeon General is Surgeons General. The past tense of Surgeons General is Surgeonsed General.

The first half of that is actually true.

Moses and Jesus were not doing miracles, they just had access to the command console.

In a metaphorical sense, that sounds about right. If the bible had been written in modern times, that may have even found its way into it.

OT: Here's one that people actually believe, but is still patently false:


"There are men in Guam whose full-time job it is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Why? Under the law in Guam, it is forbidden for virgins to marry."

Can you believe that this gets passed off as a fact?

 

[M0rp43vs]

Women have the power of telepathy and mind bullets
The purpose of man nipples is that they act as tuners to the A.M. radio embedded in our chests.
Yngwie Malmsteen's fingers often get fined for speeding
Cats know the secret to time-travel but are to apathetic to tell us or use it
Ponies are made up of cotton candy, marshmallows and pure crack
Jeremy Clarkson is an incredibly sexy man
Yahtzee prowls these forums under an assumed name and that name is WahssorCeezthaYneB
I have the power to get people to tell the truth as long as my c*** is inside them
The universe is a dream being experienced by a butterfly. An erotic one

 

[scorptatious]

Barbie's Horse Adventure is the best game ever.

 

[Nudu]

Did you know that this concept is hilarious?

 

[chetoos]

Danny Elfman going into television and movie music was a smart choice, creatively.
Yes was completely justified in continuing after Rick Wakeman left
David Bowies album, Diamond Dogs, is not a major reference to 1984, but Fahrenheit 451.
If you listen to Dark Side of the Moon, Wish you Were Here, The Wall, and Animals at the same time, you gain omniscience.
Arcade Fire is named that because, at their first show, at an arcade, their level of rock caused the building to burn down.
"The Trees" By Rush has an incredibly deep meaning, but you need to perform the feat described in my fourth fact to get the meaning. The same is true of "I am the walrus" but you need even more than the pink floyd trick can give.

 

[Belaam]

When a baby is born, their brain is only about the size of a pea. It is cushioned inside their head by super-dense mucus and drool. The brain grows to fill the skull over the first few months after birth, forcing the mucus and drool out of the nose and mouth.

 

[Scrustle]

If you type Google in to Google you will break the internet! So don't do it! Not even for a joke!

 

[Jenitals]

God...No I daren't

Consumption of urine through your ears whilst listening to Justin Bieber improves your perception of autotuning and also helps to focus your gayday. Scientists are speculating the coinciding of these two products.

Love is in the air.

I don't feel like dancing.

Students who know the Macerena are 3% more likely to be successful in their education.

 

[VonBrewskie]

-In 1845, it was legal to have sticks of cordwood inherit your farm if no other relatives could be found. Hence the term, "heading out to the sticks."

-Tomatos are actually incredibly poisonous; we have developed a tolerance to them after years of regular consumption.

-The common river trout is actually a legless amphibian.

-Great White sharks have incredible hearing, as well as an incredible sense of smell.

-There are no toilets at the exact center spot where the poles of the earth switch. They just explode when they are flushed, in that region.

 

[sageoftruth]

In Super Mario Brothers, you actually play as Bowser, mind-controlling Mario to get to his castle to dispatch one of Bowser's evil clones.

 

[HT_Black]

Did you know it's impossible to say "Eye laws dug aim" out loud?

Absofuckinglutely amazing.

It is a criminal misdemeanor to wear a Tee Shirt bearing the face of Madeline Murray O'hare in the state of Oaklahoma whilst line dancing for any purpose other than personal profit.
It is considered bad graces to violate a chicken in the presence of a depiction of George Washington.
It is illegal for unmarried women to go parachuting on Sundays in Florida.

 

[keideki]

Star Wars is actually a true story that happened 25,000 years ago and was recorded entirely in sanskrit on the spaceship of Zod, Conqueror of Planets.

 

[Nathan Crumpler]

Did you know that seals kill 10,000 people per year? They also skin them and wear them as coats.

Not so innecent now, are they?

I knew it!!!

 

[GrayJester]

Every time you boil water, only 98% of it turns into a steam. The rest is gone forever.

 

[Uberpig]

Genetically, paedophiles have more genes in common with crabs than they do with you and me.

 

[RobCoxxy]

We all share one common ancestor. The horny scientist who invented the time machine.

 

[RobotZombieNinja]

Licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.

Smitty Werbenyagermanjensen, is the best name ever.

 

[Chalacachaca]

Grand Moff Tarkin is my great great great grandnephew and I'm a lawn-mowner, you can tell it by the way I walk.

 

[Shakomaru]

The plural of Surgeon General is Surgeons General. The past tense of Surgeons General is Surgeonsed General.

89% of magic tricks are not magic. Technically, they are sorcery.

The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats.

In Victorian England, a commoner was not allowed to look directly at the Queen, due to a belief at the time that the poor had the ability to steal thoughts. Science now believes that less than 4% of poor people are able to do this.

You could stand to lose a few pounds.

Raseph, the Semetic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.

Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve.

The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate, and very interesting.

Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens.

The square root of rope is string.

You will never go to space.

Space does not exist.

The Fact Sphere is the most handsome Sphere.

The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard, and a coward.

William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded by Sir John Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play writing ghosts.

Whales are twice as intelligent, and three times as delicious as humans.

Marie Curie invented The Theory of Radioactivity, Treatment of Radioactivity, and Dying of Radioactivity.

The enemy's gate is down.

The Argentinians had howler monkey shock troopers.

Pig is an acronym, standing for Protein Ingestion Generator.

Friendship is an emotion dumbass.