Protagonists You Can't Get Behind

[Gottesstrafe]

Anyone from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I can't stand any of those assholes, and just want them to all die. I don't know why I hate them so specifically for being assholes, because there are other fictional programs about assholes that I can totally get behind (Archer comes directly to mind), but I have too much contempt for the gang to even enjoy the show.

That's kind of the point, and what the creators intended to convey since the pilot. A group of unrepentant, self-interested assholes that work in a bar together and get into a series of misadventures through a combination of crab mentality and thriving off of the misery of others. They're incapable of admitting that they're assholes or seek to better themselves (except Frank who seems to revel in it), so they're stuck with each other and can't make friends outside of their group because they're such assholes. Consequently they've formed an incestuous codependent relationship that feeds on the misery it propagates and loops back on itself where they have to contend with preying on each other as a means of distraction. And since they'd rather be together and miserable instead of lonely and forced to endure self-reflection, they're each stuck in their own personal hell where they are surrounded by people they loathe, but loathe marginally less than everyone else in the world. It's like the play No Exit, but with 5 people instead of 3.

It's not for everyone (and I'll admit in the later seasons they've kinda become caricatures of themselves), but I like it and the fact that (for a sitcom) as the series progressed instead of maturing the cast has become even worse.

 

[Johnny Impact]

I found that very annoying playing the WC3 Campaign and the Orcs arch was the one I cared for the least because of that.

They're lucky they weren't just wiped out as they should have been.

Come on and try it, pinkie! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

OT: Neo from the Matrix trilogy. He's just so empty. I'm told this was done on purpose, as a Messianic figure Neo is a blank slate onto which the audience is supposed to project its own needs, but eh. He's a minor criminal with no life and a strange obsession. The fact that his conspiracy theory turns out to be right and he becomes a superhero because of it doesn't make me like him.

Sookie Stackhouse. I can't imagine a bigger idiot. The fact that she can't read the mind of the immortal, super strong, bulletproof, blood drinking monster should be a big fat warning sign, "Hey, this is dangerous!" Instead she throws herself at him with reckless abandon, gets in way over her head counting on him to save her.....yeah. I finished the first season out of a sense of obligation. I can't watch a drama series where I can't stand the protagonist. The fact that I didn't like any of the other characters either did not help.

Anakin Skywalker in the prequels. The only point I sympathize is when he laments that his ability with the Force is so great, he is being held back by his instructor. That's exactly what a tremendously powerful teenager would say. Otherwise, I prefer to think of Vader as having emerged fully formed from the brow of some anti-Zeus, lightsaber already in hand.

 

[JimB]

Anyone from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I have too much contempt for the gang to even enjoy the show.

That's kind of the point, and what the creators intended to convey since the pilot.

Yeah, I know. And a person kicking me in the nuts definitely did so for the purpose of making a deliberate point too, but the fact that he conveyed his point well doesn't mean I have to enjoy the execution and ignore the throbbing in my balls.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Sookie Stackhouse. I can't imagine a bigger idiot. The fact that she can't read the mind of the immortal, super strong, bulletproof, blood drinking monster should be a big fat warning sign, "Hey, this is dangerous!" Instead she throws herself at him with reckless abandon, gets in way over her head counting on him to save her.....yeah. I finished the first season out of a sense of obligation. I can't watch a drama series where I can't stand the protagonist. The fact that I didn't like any of the other characters either did not help.

It gets worse. She goes from mostly just clueless to quite nasty. The author really has issues...wanted to make the stories about the persecution of gay people, but instead of gay people, she had inhuman monsters that all like raping and torturing people for no reason. Um...

Though, just about being stupid, one of the later books has Sookie saying stuff like "I don't have time to worry about mysterious unclaimed luggage, I'm worried about the terrorists trying to plant bombs" or words to that affect several times. Not going to give away the ending, but...yeah...there is an issue there.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Yeah, I agree with you on Goku. The story seems to constantly give the excuse for Goku?s mind-numbingly stupid decisions as ?oh, he?s just pure and naïve?. No, sorry, fuck that. We?ve seen Goku at least grow up enough to learn the value of life from Kami, save Earth from Piccolo, and have a son. Yet somehow, I prefer his less battle-addicted child version who actually killed his enemies because it was the right thing to do, rather than sparing them so he could put his family and friends at danger to fight them again. He?s not brain-damaged; the only confirmed thing the knock on the head did was wipe his memory of being a Saiyan assassin.

Then there?s probably most of the protagonists from Sin City. Of course, it?s a shitty film-noir-on-steroids world, so logic would serve that the people within are also shitty film-noir-on-steroids cunts.

Alucard from Hellsing. I just think he?s an irredeemable psychopath but, like most vampires, the audience is meant to feel sympathetic for him feeling tired of his immortality and having some fucked-up ?slave/master? relationship with Lady Integra.

Vash from Trigun. I just?hate pacifist characters. The series, to its credit, gave every argument under the sun for how he was technically a murderer himself for letting so many murderers free to wreak havoc because ?mommy issues?, but the story still makes him out to be the hero when morally, he?s only a bit better than Knives. Yeah, I think pacifism as an ideal is effectively amoral.

If we?re counting sitcoms, Rachel from Friends. ?Cos?Jennifer Aniston. But, if you want me to elaborate, it?s because, during the first couple of seasons, she was an insufferable, stuck-up Rich ***** who didn?t deserve Ross (you WERE on a break!) and I don?t know why Ross was into her for so long other than ?she?s pretty?. Sure, she got character development and became somewhat more likeable after those initial seasons, but she still never became the most interesting character.

Superman from Man of Steel. Lets his father die in a hurricane. Destroys 80% of Metropolis rather than lure the baddie into outer space.

Also, obligatory mention of Death Note?s Light Yagami, but then, he?s a ?villain protagonist?; you?re not meant to root for them, and Light was an arrogant brat from day one.

 

[Candidus]

Oh man, too many to mention individually.

1. Protagonists who draw an arbitrary line through acceptable and unacceptable violence in the pursuit of good and/or the punishment of evil-- so let's strike all superheroes off the list of protags I can get behind.

2. Spineless, incompetent brats whose discovery of great power (usually a mecha) allows them to "come of age" and save the world doing it.

3. Characters who're despicably fragile, pacifistic, sensitive, kind etc etc... In JRPG's, this is usually a woman who eventually `develops`- if you can call it that- to be a little more willful and assertive, as though that's anywhere near enough to make them appealing to me. Just give her a scene where she tortures the shit out of a villain's lieutenant or something and she'll get an instant draft even if her stats are bad.

4. Male characters in general... Sorry, this is just... Yeah, I can't get behind a male character. I don't relate to them, I don't aspire to be like them. I don't care what they're going through. I don't care how they feel or what they want. I don't want to inhabit them, assist them or watch them. Get out.

Protags I can get behind:

Metallica - The Witch and the Hundred Knight
Light Yagami - A rare exception to the fourth rule.
Female Bhaalspawn - Baldur's Gate series.
Phantom Assassin - Dota 2 (hey now! each match has its own narrative, and you're always your own protagonist!)
Lucy - Elfen Lied

 

[Ygrez]

Hypocrites:

-Light from Death Note, hates murderers enough to start murdering them. And then decides he'll just murder anyone who doesn't conform to his view of things.

-Shinn from Gundam Seed Destiny, hates war because his family died then joins the army; hates Orb because they stuck to neutrality, then proceeds to hate Orb because they decide to abandon neutrality.

 

[senordesol]

Batman.

For a guy with only 'one rule', he seems to take it awfully easy on the scum of Gotham.

I remember in the WB movie 'Under the Red Hood' (or st like that, too lazy to look it up), Robin takes off a dude's arm and Batman is all like 'Whoa, totally uncool, bro!' and all I could do was sit there scratching my head. 'Beating them into a coma=fine? Taking off a limb=over the line? Wha...?'

Arkham Origins made it even worse. The Riddler is actually a good guy in AO, taking down the corrupt with information warfare...without leaving them in the hospital. But Batman's all like 'Ugh, you're going to get a lot of people hurt, now 'scuze me; I'm off to go beat up some police officers'.

Seriously, Batman's the worst part of the Batman universe.

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

Max DaCosta in Elysium, as played by Matt Damon.

Seriously, I couldn't root for this guy. Matt Damon's dull surprise acting didn't help out too much, but my main reason was that the character was just a dick throughout the whole movie. Sure, at the end, he's the good guy, but when the entire movie portrays his character as a selfish jerk...

I can understand some of his actions, due to his circumstances, but even that only goes so far. I'm trying to avoid spoiling any plot points, but I find it hard to get behind a hero who, in the end, is in it totally for themselves, can't give a rat's ass about anyone else...and the writers still expect us to treat that guy as the unambiguous "good guy".

 

[Timedraven 117]

The humans in Blade Runner. I'm like, "Alright! Its a movie where we root for the AIs who are trying to gain equality." Then its just a boring crime drama, where even as the robots are killing people just for slightly inconveniencing them i still can't help but think they are still the people i want to win and who are technically the good guys. Am I missing something? How was this considered a freaking classic?!

There are innumerable more but because they are so bad i just can't remember.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Seriously, Batman's the worst part of the Batman universe.

Seconded...but I do like the rest of the Bat family. He's good when he is just there to upset them.

The humans in Blade Runner. I'm like, "Alright! Its a movie where we root for the AIs who are trying to gain equality." Then its just a boring crime drama, where even as the robots are killing people just for slightly inconveniencing them i still can't help but think they are still the people i want to win and who are technically the good guys. Am I missing something? How was this considered a freaking classic?!

Well...are the humans the ones you are supposed to win? Sure, it starts out like that, but then you see what's going on and then things get a bit blurrier.

I think it's a classic because of the movies and visuals, though. Story isn't bad, but rather rambling.

 

[Uriel_Hayabusa]

The titular character from Scott Pilgrim vs The World. The guy was nothing but a shallow, self-absorbed whiner.

 

[Benpasko]

And this last one is probably going to earn me some serious hatred considering how much what... "fanbase" is like but...

It's friendly hatred! (Not really though, Alliance scum)

I'm just sayin though, in old hillsbrad those are clearly concentration camps, the guards even make nazi references when you kill them. The Alliance carried on war after Thrall took power, and all Thrall wanted was peace. Garrosh a shit, but Thrall was clearly written to be the good guy in the conflict.

 

[Super Cyborg]

Ichigo, from Bleach. While early on he had potential, he just never became good, and actually got worse. He's either silently brooding, or yelling frantically even when situations don't call for it. He has no goals, dreams, or reason to be part of what's going on in the grand scheme of things. The problem to is that he doesn't seem grow through the situations. It doesn't have to be much, but when you have a surprised expression for the 100th time in an arc, especially for information you could've learned about a long time ago (the truth about his past and how things came to be). It also just doesn't help he's in a story where no characters seem to have personality, or at least most of the important ones. If he emoted every once in a while, and didn't changing between sad and angry every few chapters, I could at least tolerate him.

 

[David Huff]

Any vampire in any vampire movie/book/anything that has the gall to demand tolerance while murdering humans by the boat load. A la True Blood. Really, it takes a a lot to get me to root for people other than humans in most works and when a vampire's only claim to morality is that they're "hot" than I'm more than willing to whip out a few pitch forks and torches.

I mostly agree with you but I think some shows do it great. Like Being Human for example, it makes you think that there going to go that route and then they get in depth with the whole addiction thing. How blood is like a drug. The guilt the characters feel is always there.

 

[shootthebandit]

Seriously, Batman's the worst part of the Batman universe.

He's just there to gives the villains someone to antagonise. I personally think hes a bit dull but then again you look at most heroes and they are all pretty drained of charisma compared to the villains they fight.

Off the top of my head there's Tony stark, wolverine, kickass (including hit girl and big daddy), deadpool, daredevil and the watchmen who are actually pretty interesting. All the big well known ones supes, batman and spiderman etc are all pretty meh

 

[CelestDaer]

Bill Murray in any movie, really. He's a dick to be a dick in the Ghostbusters. He started a business, and Walter Peck HAD the law on his side to at least inspect what the containment system might do.
Pierce Washington from the Saints Row series (I've only played the Third so far, he might be better in others...) you just took out a Stag airship, and he just suddenly belts out, "Surely that showed them...?" cut to black, with "Twelve Hours Later" and Stag is swarming ALL of Steelport in response. I mean, I know it's not technically his fault that Stag are pissed off, but it's a well known rule you don't tempt narrative fate like that.
Agreed on Shinji, he's basically useless the entire series. Oh, he's lucky that Unit 01 worked around him, so, hey, he must be the chosen one. And yet, his reaction is more like, "Shit, now I have to meet people and learn how to be a pilot. Maybe Dad will be impressed?"
I can't really think of anyone else at the moment...

 

[RealRT]

Batman.

For a guy with only 'one rule', he seems to take it awfully easy on the scum of Gotham.

I remember in the WB movie 'Under the Red Hood' (or st like that, too lazy to look it up), Robin takes off a dude's arm and Batman is all like 'Whoa, totally uncool, bro!' and all I could do was sit there scratching my head. 'Beating them into a coma=fine? Taking off a limb=over the line? Wha...?'

Arkham Origins made it even worse. The Riddler is actually a good guy in AO, taking down the corrupt with information warfare...without leaving them in the hospital. But Batman's all like 'Ugh, you're going to get a lot of people hurt, now 'scuze me; I'm off to go beat up some police officers'.

Seriously, Batman's the worst part of the Batman universe.

Batman is not a character anymore, he's an event, a plot device. That's why I find former Robins much more interesting and satisfying - they are basically the same, but with personalities.

Also, Under the Red Hood? Gimme a high-five, that movie was awesome!