Psst he is in the friend zone

[Yopaz]

OK, so you said that the girls stated they had reasons why they don't date this and that guy. Really, saying their reasons are flawed because they complain about not meeting a nice guy while there are plenty of nice guys whom they are not attracted to around. Really? Really?!

They want to meet a nice guy, but if you seriously think that complaining about not finding nice guys is an indicator they are so desperate that any nice guy will suffice then you really don't understand women at all.

Spoiler: Relevant

I suppose what he's saying is that although women complain that there is "no good guys out there" there's actually plenty, it's just that they put them in the friend zone.
The moment women stop calling all guys assholes and going on about how there isn't any good guys out there is the moment the friendzone ceases to exist.

Well, it's kinda like a person standing on the beach complaining about being thirsty and someone tells him there's a whole ocean right in front of them. It's perfectly true, but going for it is an utterly unsatisfying experience.

Also the friend zone will cease to exist when guys stop whining about it.

 

[Caffiend]

I can't remember the login info for my other account here so I just made a new one. Apologies for that.

What I don't understand, is why first of all, you're generalizing all females and saying they all want "bad boys." That's a load of garbage. Women aren't all the same, just like men aren't all the same. It's extremely rude of you to generalize women like that.

I am sure that you have a multitude of female friends that you wouldn't date, simply because you do not feel romantically inclined to them, and I don't fully understand why just because someone is "nice" that automatically means I should give them a chance. I'm sorry, but if I am not attracted to you in that way, then I am not going to date you. Period. That works both ways, for both genders. There are male friends that have "friendzoned" me, and you know what? I got over it and still wanted to be their friend because I valued them as people and not just potential romantic partners.

I'm reminded of a quote, I don't know where it is originally from though. "Women are not vending machines that dispense sex when you put kindness coins into them." Again, that goes for both genders, but it seems as though the vast majority of people whining about the friendzone are male. If you are nice to someone, they do not owe you a thing. If you are a kind person, then they will see that as friendship. They are not obligated to view your actions as anything other than friendly and that's that. End of story.

 

[Riku'sTwilight]

The 'friendzone' sucks but only when you are attracted to the girl you are friends with. One bad experience of friendzoning later and any guy will simply see to move on from that girl and find other girls who are interested in them as a dateable person.

As the old saying goes 'there's plenty more fish in the sea' is very true, if your standards aren't too high that is.

 

[LetalisK]

*eye twitch*

The friend zone does not exist, at least not in the way many guys think it does. To some guys, the friend zone is where the worthy guys are warehoused while women go out and go date the undeserving assholes. In reality, the "friend zone" is the unintentionally self-imposed unattractive status said man ends up giving himself when he confuses "acting friendly, nice, and good" and "acting like a puss" among other similarly unattractive behaviors while vainly believing he can some how convince her that she should suddenly be attracted to behaviors she's already deemed unattractive. It's their own damn fault for being in the "friend zone".

 

[Keoul]

snip

I'm just saying there's plenty of guys trying to be nice and getting a date but not succeeding, they get rejected, fine.
But when a girl then confides with them that she can't find any nice guys to go out with it's like she's rubbing it in that they will never date.
Just saying that when they stop complaining that there isn't any nice guys, friendzoned peeps will get over their rejection quicker.

 

[LilithSlave]

Invent the friend zone? Men introduced me to the concept.

I also don't like the whole dating game thing. And have a hard time telling the difference between friends and lovers. One thing that makes me feel Pansexual or challenge just how much I have a preference for androgyny, is being confused as to whether I find someone as a friend or more. I have never had a friend who I didn't feel like I didn't feel something a little more for, on some level. Male, female, or any body type. My romantic, sexual, and friendly feelings are all mixed up. And while I'm happy enough single, if I did ever do the whole dating thing again, I'd rather it be one of my friends who I already know.

The idea that somebody thinks, that if I see them as a friend, it's some kind of personal insult, and that I'm supposed to hurry up and choose them and start dating and having sex, makes me uncomfortable, though. And I don't like the idea that a guy isn't comfortable "just being friends". I have a hard enough time deciding the depth of my own feelings myself, I don't need pressure to complicate things. And to be honest, pressure pushes me away.

Also, if this "friendzone" exists, don't guys do it too? I know plenty of guys I was attracted to but did not feel the same way about me. I have painful high school memories of guys I so incredibly wanted, to were cute and interesting fun to be around. But didn't seem to want to have anything to do with me.

 

[piinyouri]

Spoiler: WHAT IF I TOLD YOU

Personally, I feel it is bullshit. It's a made up term for a made up place.

 

[Arbi Trax]

Yes oh my god it's another friendzone post. I was with my friends (which all my friends are women, don't know how that happened, but ) So as I was with them, all of them were talking about how they just broke up with one douche and how the next one was a douche +1, so I am thinking, "well you get what you choose, and I see where this is going." So by the time the conversation was drawing to an end they all wondered where the hell can they find a good guy for once. Me angered by hearing this all the time finally snapped and shouted, "IN THE F***ING FRIENDZONE WHERE YA LEFT THEM TO DIE!!!" And in unison they said nah. And I asked them why not, and asked about the other guy friends they knew. Some answers I got back was that some of the other guys weren't as good looking or they were a little off, but at the same time they were their best friends. So in their defense I asked if they were always their for them, and if they were as nice to you as a true gentleman should. They all said yes. Yet they still denied them. So women why did y'all invent the friendzone? Cause as a man I would like to know the purpose, cause obviously it's not a circle of men who are potential dates.

Being nice to a girl does not give you a free pass to her goodies. Friendship and attraction are two completely different emotional states, and it's possible for any person to feel one without the other (or to switch between both). Also, it's ok for a girl to change her mind, or be in two minds about something. Why? Again, it's part of the whole "Being human" thing.

I don't really see the problem. What's wrong with these girls making their own choices about who they date and who they befriend? Sure, you might see them make mistakes and ending up with people they are not compatible with, but that's part of growing up. The only way these things get learned is by making mistakes. The first couple of relationships I had turned out terribly, because I didn't know what to look for in a partner.

Also, simpering around girls that you want to have sex with, pretending to be the "Nice guy" to do so? It's not a good look. It's sneaky and manipulative.

 

[hazabaza1]

Pro-tip buddy, the friend zone doesn't exist.
The reason a girl won't date a guy is because of the same reasons a guy won't date a girl. You're either too much of something, or too little of something.
And don't give me that bullshit about "B-b-b-but I respect teh wimmuns and onleh look for personalities!" because you don't.

 

[Yopaz]

snip

I'm just saying there's plenty of guys trying to be nice and getting a date but not succeeding, they get rejected, fine.
But when a girl then confides with them that she can't find any nice guys to go out with it's like she's rubbing it in that they will never date.
Just saying that when they stop complaining that there isn't any nice guys, friendzoned peeps will get over their rejection quicker.

Yeah, but should anyone settle with someone they don't really like because they have ONE quality they like? Let's say you are a nice guy. A girl doesn't find you attractive, she doesn't share your interests, but she wants a nice guy so she settles with you. This makes neither of you happy. She is in a relationship with a person she's not attracted to and you're in a relationship with her only because you she's given up.

She's not in love so your love wont be returned. Sounds like a dream situation to you?

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

Wooo... generalisation and stereotyping!

The 'freindzone' is a term created by spinless gubbins who lack the balls to ask a girl out... they beleive that just being nice to a girl 24/7 grants instant access into her panties...

In reality these guys are actually just being creeps, hounding girls all the time, and constantly being there, whether they are wanted or not! A genuine nice guy wouldn't jump on the internet asking strangers why a girl won't fuck him, even though that one time he held her bag while she tried on shoes...

Way to get out of the 'freind zone', ask the girl out, if she says yes... bargain, is she says no... face it, she doesn't like you like that and you shoild move on...

 

[Vegosiux]

Yeah, but should anyone settle with someone they don't really like because they have ONE quality they like?

Of course not. But if they express their frustration in a way that makes said quality more important than the rest, then things can get hairy. I mean, "Where are all the nice guys?" sounds like "nice guy" is of paramount importance, while the girl usually means "Why can't my man be nicer?"

It's just that people really need to communicate better. It's not a "friendzone" problem, it's a problem of saying something dubious that doesn't necessarily get your point across clearly.

 

[Vault101]

Damn man you seem severely against the whole concept of the friendzone.
What I'm saying, is that the friendzone exists because girls continuously say how there are no good guys out there when the people who do meet all their specifications are ignored.
.

so what your saying its ENTIRLY a products of the girls...and not say....guys who instead of asking the girl they like out, they pretend to"be her freind" under the Idea that she somhow is obligated to share those feelings, or that he has "earned" her affections

oh and if a girl is going out with "as asshole"..

1. she probably doesnt know he's an asshole
2. she sees somthing in him you don't
3. he actually isnt an asshole thats just how your seeing him
4. he's hot and can fuck like a machine

 

[Doclector]

Even I'm getting fed up of the friendzone talk now, and I'm a forever alone virgin, lvl 99. Seriously, I can even cast the "b***** please" spell any time people have relationship troubles. Not that I do...If I don't hate the person involved, that is. I've got a hangover and one hell of a cynic drive, so you went to the wrong dragon burial site, mister. This is going to be "fun".

A girl likes you as a friend, she likes you as more, or she f***ing hates you. You have no right to any of those states, nobody does. As unfair as it may seem, it is possible for no girl to ever like you like that, trust me. Some people just aren't born right, some people are barely born human. If you were, you may as well give up. C'mon. Would any girl who would willingly date somebody who can barely act human, and certainly doesn't look like a normal human? Somebody who's effectively wrong?

You can say I know nothing about how "people" work and you'd be part right, I don't understand normal people, they seem more crazy than the crazy people, I'll get about three hundred responses from people saying I should jump off a cliff because I'm a terrible person for having such an AWWFUL OPINYUN OF HOOMANZ and I'm AN EMMMO AAAND I SHUD GO BAK TO CUTTING MY WRISTS, WAAAAAAA WAAAAAA WAAAAA! But I've been watching for a long time. Most of my life, in fact. Most people who are in relationships are attractive. Abominations are alone. So, feel free to disagree, but quite frankly I've yet to see a shred of evidence that more than a few people aren't shallow.

 

[nuba km]

Spoiler: WHAT IF I TOLD YOU

Personally, I feel it is bullshit. It's a made up term for a made up place.

well the flaw with that is many guys who are in the friend zone are the type of guys who care about a relationship more then sex.

I see the situation of the friend zone like this, someone complains about not having ice cream, now their is ice cream in their fridge but it ain't the right type of ice cream. So what they do is eat a packed of crisps and then later say about how it didn't match up to ice cream. Now it would have been better for them to eat the other ice cream as vanilla ice cream is a lot closer to straw berry ice cream then salt and vinger crisps.

 

[Keoul]

so what your saying its ENTIRLY a products of the girls...and not say....guys who instead of asking the girl they like out, they pretend to"be her freind" under the Idea that she somhow is obligated to share those feelings, or that he has "earned" her affections

oh and if a girl is going out with "as asshole"..

1. she probably doesnt know he's an asshole
2. she sees somthing in him you don't
3. he actually isnt an asshole thats just how your seeing him
4. he's hot and can fuck like a machine

Ehhh well the girls are the ones rejecting, if the laws of society was revered I'd bet the girls would blame guys for being friend zoned.
Reason 4 was hilarious by the way XD
-cough- anyway. I was under the impression that you're suppose to befriend someone before getting in a relationship not straight away go on a date and start boning.
And these asshole boyfriends would be fine if their relationships lasted, they don't and the girl complains as if every guy is like them.

 

[tobi the good boy]

Spoiler: WHAT IF I TOLD YOU

Personally, I feel it is bullshit. It's a made up term for a made up place.

See, from my experience (not first hand but having to listen to people go through the stuff) they're not looking for sex, but romance. Also, isn't the friendzone after the guy asks the girl out and she gives him the "I just want to be friends" line? At which point I honestly see no reason why the man should have to stay friends, he was trying to pursue a romantic relationship with that intention being the foremost meaning chances are it only ends up being a relationship beneficial for one party. Some guys lose contact with their ex's because they can't provide on a romantic level. I see choosing to not be in the frienzone as being the same situation.

 

[Keoul]

Yeah, but should anyone settle with someone they don't really like because they have ONE quality they like? Let's say you are a nice guy. A girl doesn't find you attractive, she doesn't share your interests, but she wants a nice guy so she settles with you. This makes neither of you happy. She is in a relationship with a person she's not attracted to and you're in a relationship with her only because you she's given up.

She's not in love so your love wont be returned. Sounds like a dream situation to you?

You're right, a relationship like that shouldn't happen and if it did and lasted long enough, we get divorce.

I'm not saying girls have an obligation to go out with every "nice" guy the meet, just that they gotta stop complaining they can't find a single one and any person that is nice and interested is just seen as a best friend. Basically if they don't want guys complaining about friendzone they gotta stop complaining about guys and move on.