PurpleRain reviews the Gravity Hammer

[PurpleRain]

you can't wright a "unbiased" review of anything. Any review is an oponion, not facct. To review a game you need to be biased.

Biased as in (anti)fanboy biased. I've seen way too many reviews either flaming Halo to the ground before pouring salt and hate onto the ashes, or praising it and sacrificing virgins to the 'Holy One'. I'd say I was a little less biased in my opinion of the game.

review was pretty good the only thing you forget is how awesome it becomes when you are on the back of a mongoose and if you melee someone in the face the ragdoll effects are awesome.

The ragdolls were good, though I'm not a fan of driving in my FPS's altogether.

Post a Review not amended by flaming or stupidity: 3000pts

Yay! Put this one with the collection.

Yep. And I too have an affinity for playing as the Arbiter and with the Gravity Hammer...

Really? I don't like the Arbiter for one reason.

His roar. Seriously, what the fuck? Don't they have voice modifiers and whatnot at Bungie? Written down, it's something like, "Nghaaaaarrr."

It was like he was drowning in mouthwash. Ah well, he looked cooler then MC did in my opinion.

 

[shatnershaman]

Well Master Chief in the picture doesn't resemble any of the MJOLNIR sets. Or match Master Chiefs dimensions.

Good review I guess I'm not really going to comment though since I felt a "Here we go again"(Started after the Half-Life comparison) while reading it.

 

[Fire Daemon]

Ah yes, the Gravity Hammer (more like Force Hammer). Much fun had by all. Except the guy driving that mongoose. I taught him, taught him good.

Good review, I agree with everything.

 

[stompy]

I have a question for those of you who know more about Halo than me: How the hell do Elites eat? They have that HUGE ASS GAP in their lower mouth region.

That, my friend, is a mystery we may never solve... yeh, you'd best ask Anton; he knows a lot more than I do when it comes to Halo lore.

 

[Dealin Burgers]

Im sorry but i didn't like this review. Mostly because it sounds like all the other "Halo ain't so great" reviews i've read. Not to mention some of the stupid things you say: "As for Chief in space? It was kind of stupid why he didn't come back to Earth with Arbiter. Weren't they on the same ship?". I mean really, were you even watching the game as you played it? did you not see that only HALF A SHIP lands on earth! There was no Halo above Earth either, I have no idea were you got that from.
"Whats the arc?": It was that big thing that you went through the portal to. As for what it does; remember when that halo emerged from the middle??? A LARGE OBJECT, BIGGER THAN A HALO, THAT HAS A HALO COME OUT OF IT?!?! I KINDA THINK IT MAKES HALO'S!!!!!!!
Who cares were the Flood came from, the point is their tryng to eat your face so their origin is the least of your worries. Lastly that whole: Halo: Aliens speak no english, Halo 2: Aliens speak some english, Halo 3: Aliens speak english fluently. I kinda think that explains itself: THEY LEARNED FUCKING ENGLISH. As for why? Maybe to listen in on us speaking to make it easy to find out what were doing.

Honestly, sometimes i wonder if the whole Halo Hatred stems from ignorance and stupidity

 

[The Wooster]

Halo: Aliens speak no english, Halo 2: Aliens speak some english, Halo 3: Aliens speak english fluently. I kinda think that explains itself: THEY LEARNED FUCKING ENGLISH. As for why? Maybe to listen in on us speaking to make it easy to find out what were doing.

Honestly, sometimes i wonder if the whole Halo Hatred stems from ignorance and stupidity

Ok. Here's a little do it yourself experiment champ. Make the sound 'Oh' with your mouth. You can do it? Awesome. Notice how your mouth forms a little O? Ok. Now imagine, instead of lips you have four predator style mandibles that widen every time you open your alien cakehole. It would sound somewhat like someone choking to death. Not very conductive to clear and concise English.

 

[Piemaster]

Not a bad review, but personally I thought 343 Guilty Spark was awesome.

 

[PurpleRain]

Im sorry but i didn't like this review. Mostly because it sounds like all the other "Halo ain't so great" reviews i've read. Not to mention some of the stupid things you say: "As for Chief in space? It was kind of stupid why he didn't come back to Earth with Arbiter. Weren't they on the same ship?". I mean really, were you even watching the game as you played it? did you not see that only HALF A SHIP lands on earth! There was no Halo above Earth either, I have no idea were you got that from.
"Whats the arc?": It was that big thing that you went through the portal to. As for what it does; remember when that halo emerged from the middle??? A LARGE OBJECT, BIGGER THAN A HALO, THAT HAS A HALO COME OUT OF IT?!?! I KINDA THINK IT MAKES HALO'S!!!!!!!
Who cares were the Flood came from, the point is their tryng to eat your face so their origin is the least of your worries. Lastly that whole: Halo: Aliens speak no english, Halo 2: Aliens speak some english, Halo 3: Aliens speak english fluently. I kinda think that explains itself: THEY LEARNED FUCKING ENGLISH. As for why? Maybe to listen in on us speaking to make it easy to find out what were doing.

Honestly, sometimes i wonder if the whole Halo Hatred stems from ignorance and stupidity

Damn it. Does this mean I loose that achievement.

As for the comment, did you not read the review. I couldn't tell what was happening. It was barely explained. I don't hate Halo, I just found it too much like a fan made game from me to like too much.

About the talking: 'how or even why they bothered to learn our language when they want to wage galactic genocide against us.'

The thing is, I also want to know where the Flood came from. The game can't just chuck you a stray enemy without warning and expect you to cool with it.

The ship: When did it break in two? I remember them both being on it then suddenly they're not, there's two? Why didn't the two pieces land back on Earth. Was Chief portaled away or something? There are too many questions that haven't been bothered to be explained, unless, like I said, you have had to read the books and rewatch the damn thing at least 4 times to catch it all.

So basically you're helping my arguement.

Well, I guess I got futher than other Halo threads did.

I have a question for those of you who know more about Halo than me: How the hell do Elites eat? They have that HUGE ASS GAP in their lower mouth region.

They eat through another hole... and it's not in their face.

Ok. Here's a little do it yourself experiment champ. Make the sound 'Oh' with your mouth. You can do it? Awesome. Notice how your mouth forms a little O? Ok. Now imagine, instead of lips you have four predator style mandibles that widen every time you open your alien cakehole. It would sound somewhat like someone choking to death. Not very conductive to clear and concise English.

I did laugh a bt too hard. Seriously, why aren't there more of you on this planet?

Not a bad review, but personally I thought 343 Guilty Spark was awesome.

He's got spunk, I'll give him that, but to jump from one game to the next made me get very bored of him. Also, Guilty Spark as a boss? I don't think it worked to well in that sense.

 

[The Iron Ninja]

Im sorry but i didn't like this review. Mostly because it sounds like all the other "Halo ain't so great" reviews i've read. Not to mention some of the stupid things you say: "As for Chief in space? It was kind of stupid why he didn't come back to Earth with Arbiter. Weren't they on the same ship?". I mean really, were you even watching the game as you played it? did you not see that only HALF A SHIP lands on earth! There was no Halo above Earth either, I have no idea were you got that from.
"Whats the arc?": It was that big thing that you went through the portal to. As for what it does; remember when that halo emerged from the middle??? A LARGE OBJECT, BIGGER THAN A HALO, THAT HAS A HALO COME OUT OF IT?!?! I KINDA THINK IT MAKES HALO'S!!!!!!!
Who cares were the Flood came from, the point is their tryng to eat your face so their origin is the least of your worries. Lastly that whole: Halo: Aliens speak no english, Halo 2: Aliens speak some english, Halo 3: Aliens speak english fluently. I kinda think that explains itself: THEY LEARNED FUCKING ENGLISH. As for why? Maybe to listen in on us speaking to make it easy to find out what were doing.

Honestly, sometimes i wonder if the whole Halo Hatred stems from ignorance and stupidity

Damn it. Does this mean I loose that achievement.

No. PEOPLE WHO TALK IN CAPS LIKE THIS don't deserve to have an opinion. disregard his post. (but don't disregard this one, as that bit in caps was in context)

 

[Dealin Burgers]

No. PEOPLE WHO TALK IN CAPS LIKE THIS don't deserve to have an opinion. disregard his post. (but don't disregard this one, as that bit in caps was in context)

How else will I convey that I'm shouting? Besides, disregarding is reserved for off-topic posts.

And yes, you loose that achievement. Still, you're right about that speech thing. Why oh why would you learn the enemies langauge during a war? It makes no sense!
That and Cortana explains in one sentence why the Chiefs in space and the Arbiter aint. There is no way to help a flawed argument.

 

[The Iron Ninja]

Use bold letters? (put b and /b into these types of brackets >>>[])

 

[Dealin Burgers]

Use bold letters? (put b and /b into these types of brackets >>>[])

So why are bold letters acceptable when capitals are not? Does the extra effort carry across increased meaning? Silly Ninja.

 

[The Iron Ninja]

It's all about the extra effort. If you can't muster the energy to enbolden your words, then quite frankly I see no point listening to you.

On a side note I hated the gravity hammer, mainly since it was my co-op partner that used it, and he used it to attack me, repeatedly.

 

[Dealin Burgers]

Still, Bold hardly seems like shouting. It puts more emphasis on the word, i'll give you that, but it doesn't give the same effect as CAPITALS LETTERS.
And if i wrote "This revuw r coooooocks" using giant letters made up of individual symbols and it took my 3 hours to do it, would that make it good? More effort doesn't mean better.

 

[Lord Krunk]

Sorry Purps, no matter what, you will never avoid trolls and flame wars when reviewing Halo. It just doesn't work.

EDIT: Oh, and I loved the review. I seem to have understood the story a little better than you, but when it comes to the title "Fan-Based Game," I deeply understand.

Of course, I also love the grav hammer, but I tend not to use it, due to its minute ammunition.

 

[PurpleRain]

Ignore the Troll. He's shown his true side. Besides, I want my Achievement!

On a side note I hated the gravity hammer, mainly since it was my co-op partner that used it, and he used it to attack me, repeatedly.

Yeah... I kinda did that a few times as well.

The first kill I had with it was my partner.
"Ohh, what's this d-" bam "Oh, good god yes!"
Needless to say, my friend wasn't happy.

 

[The Iron Ninja]

Note: directed at the other guy, not to Purple Rain.

No it doesn't, since unlike bold letters, (continuous) capital letters make you look like an illiterate moron.
Have you considered adding an exclamation mark? That's often used in writing to convey shouting or anger. Food for thought? (If my sentence was food that is... Mmmm, words.)

Well at least we're not actually arguing about halo, so this is still a pretty unique thread.

 

[Lord Krunk]

No it doesn't, since unlike bold letters, capital letters make you look like an illiterate moron.
Have you considered adding an exclamation mark? That's often used in writing to convey shouting or anger. Food for thought? (If my sentence was food that is... Mmmm, words.)

What he's saying, in short, is that caps when trying to make a point makes you look like an idiot.

However, when it comes to this, bold isn't that good either.

I like the good old (single) exclamation mark.

!

 

[PurpleRain]

Sorry Purps, no matter what, you will never avoid trolls and flame wars when reviewing Halo. It just doesn't work.

EDIT: Oh, and I loved the review. I seem to have understood the story a little better than you, but when it comes to the title "Fan-Based Game," I deeply understand.

Of course, I also love the grav hammer, but I tend not to use it, due to its minute ammunition.

Thanks. i felt I'd need to replay it a few times to catch things. The game was fine, just the story reeked of 'fansonly'. For someone that wants an fun FPS to fight in, it felt half delivered.

Yeah, about 15 or so hits if I remember? After that you chuck it away and feel the gravity hammer shaped hole return to your life.

Still 24 posts without a porblem was pretty good.